Page 70 of Motorycle Daddies

Grizzly chuckles and comes toward us. His intention is clear as he focuses on my heaving breasts.

But a shout from outside ends their plans, much to my surprise and consternation. I actually want their full attention on me, sudden desire ripping through me unannounced. My stupid hormones are switching so swiftly from one moment to the next.

Trap’s kiss deepens for an instant, then he shoves me gently aside and follows the others out the door. He turns back for just an instant to state, “To be continued.”

His words make me laugh and lose some of my trepidation. Why should I worry? Don’t I have the most protective men as my lovers?

But my worry comes from more than fear of the Bratva and the MC they use to enforce their desires. It’s the baby that’s making me so antsy. I can’t keep hiding this condition forever. My symptoms are bound to be noticed sooner or later, not to mention the fact that my stomach won’t stay flat forever.

I put my hand over where I know the baby is growing. I imagine it moving like a butterfly inside me. I can’t escape the fact that it’s there and very real. It’s part of me now and there’s no turning back.

I need time, even more than I first thought. The question becomes—how do I get what I need?

To remind me of my dilemma, the dizziness I first felt before discovering the pregnancy returns with a vengeance. Nausea comes with it. I race to the bathroom and heave out the food that’s left in my churning stomach.

Weak and tired, I curl up on my bed where I feel safest. I can hear the men outside arguing over something, and I block it from my mind. It doesn’t sound like anything dangerous is happening, just some testosterone-fueled argument. I know I can leave whatever the problem is in their hands despite the weird, angry outburst I showed them earlier.

A random thought pops into my head as the pregnancy symptoms ease at last. If they truly want me to be safe, then maybe I should go away for a while. If I’m gone, they can concentrate on business, and I can get through more of this pregnancy unnoticed.

I’ll have all the time I need to figure out how to tell them the truth.

I have a cousin in Montana I can go to. She’s always there when I need her. She’ll accept my situation without even blinking an eye. She shrugs off strange circumstances and just deals with whatever comes her way. She may even help me figure out the best words to use when I reveal my secret.

And it’s been a very long time. Since my father is hardly family these days, I could use someone else on my side. I’d be able to simply rest in peaceful surroundings and let all the anxiety go for a short time. That would be good for the baby as much as for me.

Who am I kidding? The guys will never let me go. They’re overprotective. And they desire me in bed far too often to spend time without me.

Just the holidays, that’s all I want. A few more days to feel in control of my own destiny.

“What do you think, little one?” I ask the tiny life growing inside me. “Can I convince the guys to let me go visit Sophie? If they knew of your existence, they’d lock me away and hide the key. But they don’t. Do I have a chance of convincing them? Even a small one?”

Of course, the baby can’t answer. However, I know the answer anyway. It’s the same as always.

No, they’ll never be convinced.

I’m desperate. For once, my needs have to come first. One last defiant thing to ease my overwhelmed mind. I’m going without their consent.

Without their knowledge.

I lift my head, checking to see if the dizziness will return. It doesn’t, so I get out of bed, smooth the wrinkles I’ve put in the covers, and begin to make plans. I have to hurry before I lose my courage, and before any of the guys come back to check on me.

Trap will keep his promise. He’ll come back and possibly bring Grizzly with him. They both seem to need what I can provide, which makes me smile despite the deception I’m planning.

I don’t require a lot of stuff, nor can I carry it. One duffel bag will have to do. I tug it from beneath my bed and go to my closet to choose a few things that can be mixed and matched easily to form several different outfits. Jeans, leggings, and a few simple shirts will do just fine.

From the drawers I take underwear and the pajamas I haven’t worn since taking Trap, Dart, and Grizzly into my bed. They are my warmth at night, but now the flannel is going to be necessary.

Shampoo, conditioner, and other toiletries go in next. I hesitate before zipping up the bag. Can I really do this? A soft whimper of fear escapes my lips.

Alone. How long has it been since I’ve done something all alone?

Fierce pride takes over. I can and will do this one last thing for myself. I tell myself it’s necessary. It’s not an option.

Maybe it’s cowardly to walk away and forget my troubles for now. But I swear I’ll face them head-on the minute I come back.

And I will come back. I’ll stand up strong and assured and tell the guys everything. Courage comes with growth, and leaving on my own will bring that growth.

“This is it. No more excuses, and no more piddling around to waste time.”

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