Page 83 of Group Studies

I scowled. “No.”

Ashe fingered his beard as he studied me, his shoulders fell. “Look, about yesterday.”

I waved him off. “I don’t want to talk about it. Just do what you need to, and I’ll do what I want to.”

Ashe flexed his back, his muscles bunching under his t-shirt. “That’s not what I want. Fuck, this is hard. All of this is new to me.” He tugged on his beard. “You’re right. I told Roisin what I did because your fellow students have to know what you did wasn’t okay, and that you're being fucking punished for it. If they see you get away with things, they’ll think they can get away with more. It’s how the world works, Kitten.”

I clenched my fists. “But I am getting away with breaking the rules! They're making up new ones to accommodate me.”

“Reality is not the fucking point.”

“Maybe it should be.”

A thrill went through me. This was an argument. I was standing up for myself. Ashe and his bulging muscles didn’t seem so big all of a sudden.

“The MA has come in here in limited numbers.” I pointed at the weapons belt Ashe left draped over my couch. “Given with dangerous weapons and authority, but they’ve invaded.” I threw my hands up in the air. “Why are all the students listening? Because of fear.” I pointed at him. “Fear that you’re perpetuating!”

I thought of the color draining out of Officer Keres' face as Professor Garnet shook the very tower we stood in. That amount of power felt normal to me, but it was finally starting to sink into my thick skull: magic was a limited resource. Officer Keres and whatever the massive number of pins decorating his uniform meant, wasn’t used to even a fraction of the magic I put into Professor Garnet.

“A,” Ashe said, drawing me out of my thoughts. “What’s gotten into your head?”

My eyebrow twitched. “What? Do you not like my opinions?”

I sauntered past Ashe to the pile of books on the coffee table in front of the fire.

Ashe picked up his coffee cup and followed me. “I don’t fucking agree with where this particular one’s headed.”

I plopped down on one side of my couch. After a moment of indecision, Ashe dropped onto the opposite side, letting me keep my space, but still near me.

My heart warmed. I hid behind a book, pretending to read so he wouldn’t know.

“Fuck, the shit you said to me and Saff last night was fair,” Ashe said, looking at the magical roaring fire. “I don’t know how I can fucking fix it, but I will.”

I raised an eyebrow over the book, peering at the Gentle Giant.

“The book’s upside down, Kitten,” Ashe said softly. “I know you’re not fucking ignoring me.”

I wrinkled my nose and flipped it right side up before pinning him with my gaze. After a few heartbeats, I realized we were waiting for the other to blink first. I leaned forward. It would not be me.

Ashe squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “Normal schedule this morning, but after lunch, you’ve got a meeting with the Director and Officer Keres. Your appointment with Gabe is after GS.”

My heart sang, though I did my best not to show it. “After I guilted you into letting me do it.”

Ashe blanched. “Jesus fucking Christ, damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

I hid behind my book and swallowed my laughter. Once I had it under control, I said. “As long as you know where you stand.”

Ashe grunted and picked up his reading. I slowly let my legs stretch out across the sofa and buried my feet under Ashe’s butt. Without looking at me, one of his hands came to rest on my ankle.

* * *

Except for Derek, my morning went by smoothly. My young freckled friend sported a black eye along with what looked like dirt rash along his left arm. He wouldn’t talk about it, but I knew it was the MA, though why they were targeting my friend I had no clue.

When I told Derek I couldn’t tutor him anymore, he gave me puppy dog eyes but said he understood. It hurt more than not being able to see him anymore.

By lunch, I was ravenous and there was no way I was eating another PB&J. Despite knowing I should save some rations for dinner, I piled up my plate with everything I could afford and still give Gabe his last payment. A lovely little food baby stuck out from my flat stomach when Ashe physically pulled me away from my meal.

“We’re in public, don’t fucking lick your plates,” he complained.

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