I cringed, doing as she said.
“Your workstation is there,” she pointed. “The pantry at the back of my classroom is through that door. If you need something less generic,” Abe waved her hand, and part of the narrow doorway she pointed at vanished. A shallow skinny floor-to-ceiling pantry full of unmarked ceramic jars and wooden boxes appeared.
I bit my lower lip, fingering the sock in my pocket.
Abe smiled proudly. “That’s my personal collection. You’ll need help finding what you need. If I even hear a word of its existence from another warm body at the Institute, I will turn you in for making an illegal potion.”
I stiffened meeting her lizard-like gaze.
“You’re to report to me tomorrow night,” Abe continued as if she hadn’t just threatened me. “Nine o’clock sharp. I believe if you can transfer magic into people, you can charge a potion. And I have many potions needing to be charged.”
My stomach twisted. “Why can’t you charge them yourself?”
Abe raised an eyebrow. “You’re not as observant as I’d hoped. Charging potions and runes takes magic.” She held up one of her skeletal arms. “The average mage would die trying to use as much magic as I do every day. Eating often helps, but it doesn’t change my fate.” She narrowed her eyes. “In my past life, I made potions for dangerous people. The MA would call them the wrong people. When they got caught, I went down with them. Instead of prison, I chose to accept the job here. Teaching what I know and draining my magic day in and day out so I couldn’t use it for my projects.” She pointed at the workstation again. “Over the last twenty years, I’ve found a balance, but you’ll tip those scales.”
I shivered at the word scales. “Ah, I could just transfer into you.”
Abe laughed; the dry sound contrasted the bubbling liquids. “And make me want to lick carpet for the first time in my life? No. I’d rather see you gain your independence. I might not have wanted to teach here,” a soft smile crept onto Abe’s face, making her thin features much more terrifying. “But making teenagers miserable until they learn something from it brings a satisfaction I never felt churning out spells for the rich.” She popped her dry lips. “But, life’s about balance, as you’re figuring out first hand, Aphrodite.”
She scowled at me, before resting one thin finger on her cheek. “I’m assuming you have your potion memorized?”
“I’d still like to have the book,” I answered, moving toward the table.
Abe cackled. “So would we all.”
The cool metal of the workstation warmed as I rested my fingers against it. I closed my eyes, visualizing the book and the modifications I’d made to incorporate my scales. Opening my eyes, I looked for a piece of paper but stopped myself. If they searched my Shell, they’d find not only the book with the spell in it but my notes which were as damning as the scales themselves.
Why hadn’t I thought of that?
I took a few controlled deep breaths. I couldn’t get to my Shell right now. If I tried to leave Abe’s office, she’d turn me in. I glanced at the skeletal woman as she pulled a chocolate bar of some sort out of her desk and began cleaning up her testing kit.
Although she’d not said it outright, I worked for Abe now. Unlike Nitis, there was no contract here, no exchange, no discussion. By helping me complete my potion, she placed me firmly in her debt. We both knew it.
The thought didn’t terrify me as much as it should.
“Aphrodite, we are on the clock,” Abe snapped when I still hadn’t moved.
I jerked toward the small door, pausing to look at Abe’s collection before coming out in the pantry of the dark alchemy lab. I began gathering my supplies, letting the repetition of the task calm my racing heart.
* * *
The sounds of the cafeteria blurred together and faded into the background the following afternoon. I stared at PB&J without eating it. Absently, I rubbed my sore arms with my bandage-covered hands. Magnus Terra’s buckets hadn’t helped my blisters.
Sitting across from me, Ashe frowned. He’d found me in the library pale and tight-lipped this morning, but I didn’t know what to tell him. so I just didn’t open my mouth.
“Hey, Kitten.” He cupped my cheek, forcing me to look up at him. “You look like shit.” He nudged my sandwich closer to me. “Eat something and fucking talk to me.”
I swallowed, pulling my face out of his hand. I was up late working on my potions, Abe alongside me. Afterwards, I flushed my notes and talked Roisin into hiding my book in the romance section of the library along with one she meant to return. It was the best I could do. Once I finally tried to sleep, every little sound jerked me awake, waiting for the MA to bust in and tear apart my world once again.
My stomach growled, and I forced myself to take a bite of my PB&J. I didn’t remember them being this dry before as I struggled to swallow it. A sudden need for pickles made my mouth water, giving me an excuse to get away from Ashe. “I’ll be right back.” I stood and joined the back of the small line.
I should be loving Ashe’s display of affection after the other three men in my life kept me at arm’s length. But right now, guilt tore me apart. Ashe even helped me return Magnus Terra’s buckets and I hadn’t even thanked him. All l I could think of was what would happen if the MA connected him to my scales. A tense silence wrapped us as close together as it drove us apart.
The woman behind the counter gave me an odd look when I asked, but she handed over a bowl full of dill spears at my request. I returned to my table with a small smile.
“Have you always liked pickles this much?” Ashe asked.
I shook my head, my gaze drifting to the MA agents in their usual posts at the cafeteria doors. One lifted his hand and pressed his fingers against the clear earpiece hanging out of his ear. I tensed, a pickle halfway to my mouth. He put his hand down and didn’t look in my direction. I shoved the salty spear past my lips and forced myself to chew.