Page 105 of Group Studies

I sighed. I wouldn’t go back and change it even if I could.

I found my phone in the pocket of the skirt I’d shed during round one on my couch with Saffron and Beryl. My core heated at the memory, helping ease any remaining guilt. I curled up in front of the fire. I’d missed a few messages. My fingers hovered over Professor Garnet’s notification, my heart racing, before I pressed on it.

PG: I’m sorry about what I said last night.

PG: I’ve not been a good mentor or friend. I’ve projected my fears onto you. I’ve been trying to mold you into something the MA can understand and accept. Because that’s what was done to me. But that’s not you, and, honestly, that’s not me either. I’ve never been able to admit it before.

PG: As much as I want to come to you and say all of this in person, you’ve left the Institute in chaos. If you need me, text, otherwise when things calm down. I’ve thought about what I want, and it can’t be expressed in a text message or over our necklace.

I bit my bottom lip and read the message a second time. I wasn’t alone. The world wasn’t black and white. I didn’t know if the professor understood how much this text meant to me, but it filled me with strength. If Professor Garnet could question, I could question. Maybe that’s what life was really about.

Unable to figure out how to put my thoughts into a text message, I kept my response simple.

A: kk

Ashe pushed a mug into my free hand, before sitting on the far side of the couch. Without a word, he opened up a book and sipped his coffee.

The empty middle of the couch felt like a physical barrier, the silence between us so heavy it bowed my shoulders.

Still unsure what I wanted to say to him, I flipped to Mêler and scrolled. The administration had called off the next two days of classes as they dealt with ‘a technical fault in the building.’ Pictures of the cafeteria filled with MA agents, a group of them sitting naked at gunpoint, were circulating. Guilt tried to fill my stomach. I ordered Officer Keres to strip the bad apples of everything, but I hadn’t realized he’d take my words so literally.

I should have. I told him what to do. Unease tingled my spine, countering the confidence I’d found in the shower.

The comments beneath it were an outpouring of images and hate by those they’d abused. Whether my actions were right or wrong, things were going to change.

Roisin, coordinating with Director Flemmings and the team who worked behind the cafeteria counter, set up packed meals for the day. Students were encouraged to use the GS equipment – Coach Robin even posted a timetable for different sporting events. All the lounges were open. Doctor Roy published a counseling sign-up sheet, and Professor Garnet hosted meditation for anyone who needed clarity of mind. I smiled, wondering if anyone was in the open study session Magus Terra announced. I’d never seen this much positivity on Mêler, not once.

My stomach growled. I messaged Roisin asking if she delivered.

Roisin: Only if we get a tour and the skinny.

A: Sure, but I need six meals.

Roisin: Jesus, six in one night? Sandy’s gonna be beside herself.

I sighed but decided to wait to correct Roisin. Fifteen minutes later, Sandy and Roisin booted Ashe out of his spot. The Grumpy Gentle Giant moved back to the coffee maker and brewed another round.

Someone yelped above us.

“Get away from me,” Saffron growled.

“But I felt so safe in your arms, Boy Scout,” Beryl purred. “I’ll be your little spoon anytime.”

Sandy cut off mid story, bringing her hands to her chest. Actual tears of joy sparkled in her eyes.

“Fuck off,” Saffron growled, before his footsteps clattered down my stairs. With his uniformed pants slung low on his hips and my magic still spiking his hair, he looked incredible. I loved it.

“As many cuddles as you want, whenever you want them,” Beryl called with a chuckle.

Saffron gave my loft the finger before slipping into the washroom and running the shower.

“It’s my dream come true,” Sandy grinned and squeezed. “Time to spill!”

I blushed and began giving them the abridged version of what happened last night. A shirtless Beryl joined us. I froze, an egg sandwich part way to my mouth, and my voice choked. What I’d said to him last night echoed in my mind. I love you, Beryl. You’re my world.

What had I done? My first time telling anyone I love them was in a drugged out haze of magical lust...and I’d said those words to manipulate him into a threesome with Saffron. He didn’t even like Saffron.

“Earth to A!” Roisin yelled, snapping her fingers. “You literally just slept with him. Focus.”

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