Page 77 of Self Studies

Doctor Roy dimmed the lights of his room and flipped around his laptop so we could both see it.

My mangled hair appeared on the screen. Even in the weird lighting, I could see my trembling hands. The video didn’t show my shadow self, my master, or any of the things I’d experienced. My form knelt, deathly still, surrounded by the three cloaked figures.

In the blink of an eye, hundreds of sparkling dark crystal shards shot out of my body. They washed out the ugly yellow lighting before hitting the Sphérique’s supposedly impenetrable wards and passing right through them. Three shards streaked toward the figures around me and bounced harmlessly off their cloaks. The three figures shifted from foot to foot, then turned towards each other as if silently communicating. A moment later, flames of red, yellow, and blue licked my still kneeling figure. Where the colors mixed, blinding white left blind spots in the camera’s details.

“This was when you realized you were hearing other people’s thoughts,” Doctor Roy said. The me in the video screamed and grabbed her head. “And this is when your proctors realized the flames were the magic of others.” He continued as one of the cloaked figures moved forward. It hit me hard on the back of the head, and the flames vanished. Nurse Norah rushed to my unconscious side.

Doctor Roy stopped the video. “You could’ve destroyed the entire Sphérique.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I was terrified.”

“Of the proctors?”

I shook my head. “Of the situation.”

“Of dying?”

I thought for a moment. “No. Of…myself? My master? I don’t know. I was terrified. Okay?”

Roy held out his hands. “Of course. I’m not here to judge you. But you need to understand your terror if you want to overcome it.”

“Why aren’t I dead?” I demanded. “I was supposed to be on my last chance. I forced my magic into hundreds of people.”

“A minimal amount of it,” Doctor Roy corrected, though he didn’t give a real answer.

I started shaking and clasped my hands together.

We’d watched a video from one of the lounges first. Doctor Roy said it was to show me I’d done no harm. Most of the rainbow shards bounced off shields or moved into students without them noticing. No one acted any different. Doctor Roy thought it probably took everything I had to get the shards through the Sphérique’s barriers.

Even if it was harmless, it still connected me to anyone who let my magic in—two voices stood out in my memory: Professor Garnet and Advisor Crowe.

“Why did they let my magic in?” I asked quietly.

“Either because they didn’t know what it was,” Doctor Roy explained rationally. “Or they wanted it. I know you’ve heard it over and over. But power calls to power. Not only here, all over the world. When mages took over, they did it in groups.” He leaned toward me. “Humans, mages or not, weren’t meant to live alone. We need each other.” He leaned back and took a deep breath. “I’m on my soapbox; forgive me. I don’t know their motivations, but that’s my theory. Especially knowing this institute.”

I frowned.

A loud knock rattled Doctor Roy’s door before it burst open. Director Fleming stepped into the room, flanked by two mages dressed in the MA's dark blue and red uniforms. The smell of my burning apartment and the sound of gunfire assaulted my memory.

I froze.

“Apprehend her,” Director Fleming ordered.

Between one breath and the next, an MA agent pinned my arms to my side and lifted me into the air. The other clamped thick, cold metal clasps around each of my wrists. Hundreds of tiny pins pressed into my skin. My arms straightened and bowed unnaturally as a scream of pure agony ripped out of my throat. The MA agent’s grip on me tightened before my hands went numb, and I slumped.

“Aphrodite.” Director Fleming stepped toward me, her cold gaze full of disappointment. “I warned you. You looked me in the eye and said you wouldn’t follow in your master’s footsteps.”

“I meant it,” I panted, trying to understand what was happening.

Doctor Roy stood, his fists clenched. “What’s the meaning of this?”

The sound of my panting filled the room. Although I couldn't feel pain anymore, the intensity of it still echoed through my dangling form.

Doctor Roy rapped his knuckles on the desk. “She wasn’t in control during her Aptitudes. We push students over the edge. She shouldn’t be punished for it.” He tilted his head to the side and frowned. “I know it’s not my place, but I do believe Aphrodite. We’re both confused about your current course of action, Director. Is this a delayed reaction to her Aptitudes?”

I blinked at the Director, my wits slowly returning to me.

“This is not about the Aptitudes,” she said evenly. Her brow furrowed, bringing out the wrinkles under her layers of makeup. “Aphrodite forced her magic into two students this afternoon.” She said carefully. “You didn’t know you were doing it?”

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