Page 9 of Self Studies

I blinked, confused to find myself still engaged with the world. My past climaxes had given me an escape from reality. A few blissful seconds where my body floated without care. I still had that in part, but right now, my mind was as clear as the bright world around me. I peered down at the incredibly handsome man between my legs. His kiss-swollen lips grinned as he attempted to pull me into his embrace.

I didn’t let him. Standing, I rubbed my breast bone. The hole around my heart didn’t hurt as much as it had earlier. In fact, the entire world felt somehow more focused.

“Can you control your magic yet?” he asked, still lying on his back and watching me. “What kind of mage are you?”

I didn’t respond as Damon’s words bounced around my head. ‘You exist to be used. Your magic is only accessible by me.’

Anger mixed with that spark of joy.

If he’d been wrong about sex, maybe he was wrong about magic too.

Still standing, I emptied my mind and sunk into a mage-trance, but my magic still swirled behind a barrier. I let out a disappointed breath and snapped my eyes open. Suddenly self-conscious, I tucked my breasts back into my corset and wrapped my arms around myself.

The man’s fingers danced mid-air. My eyebrows shot to the sky when his juices began rolling down my leg unnaturally fast, somehow not getting stuck in my fishnets.

I studied his gaze once more. “Pure sapphire-rimmed eyes. Blue is internal; your magic only affects you.”

He winked. “It’s my jizz.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Brushing off the last bits of grass from my outfit, I turned from him. Although it was invisible, I slid my fingers into the slightly denser air of the barrier.

Power heated my fingertips.

Damon would’ve called my actions reckless, but he was gone. He’d lied to me and kept me in the dark. Anger burned in my gut. My thoughts were clear for the first time since I’d woken up. I still found the world overwhelming, but Sapphire-Eyes gave me something I’d never had before.

Real control.

I began walking, one hand leaving an invisible ripple in the wall.

“Wait, that’s it?” the man called. “Can I walk with you?”

I turned around, curling my fingers, so only the middle one stood up on each hand, a gesture I’d seen Damon make a thousand times. Sapphire-Eyes didn’t yell. He didn’t tell me my actions were inappropriate. Instead, his face split into a grin, and he lay his head back down.

Wrinkling my nose, I bounced with excitement. Although loss and conflict still simmered in the back of my mind. I am free.

The three words made me light-headed.

With new eyes, I took in the landscape around me. A tremor of fear shot through my euphoria. With a deep breath, I reigned in my thoughts before they could turn on me. Heat filled my cheeks, and I peeked back at the man I’d brutally used to gain my new sense of freedom.

He was sitting up now. His gaze tracked my departure, though he didn’t move to follow me. Exactly what I wanted.

Chapter 3

The indent Sapphire-Eyes and I made in the tundra came back into view as my walk brought me full circle. Although I logically knew the impenetrable barrier wasn’t that large, I wasn’t used to this much physical activity. On shaky legs, I lowered myself to the ground and scanned the horizon. Not even a hint of civilization brushed the flat expanse surrounding the Institute. Nor had I encountered another soul while exploring.

I laughed. I’d gone from one prison to another. But, I’d chosen to go for this walk. Following the barrier was the most freedom I’d had in my nineteen years of life.

A small bug tickled my calf. I brushed it off and listened to the quiet. No cars rattled past, or people shouted from below. Only the occasional yell from a student or whiz of magic drifted from the Institute. My skin prickled. I found myself waiting for the hissing of the feral cats who lived outside my window. But it never came.

My stomach growled. According to my calculations, my last meal had been at least three days ago. Whatever they’d fed me while I was unconscious wasn’t cutting it anymore.

I stood and walked back toward the Institute. The striking reds and greens of sunset framed a massive gothic castle. According to Advisor Crowe, the institutes' shield slightly distorted the sun’s rays. Backlit by the colorful scene, it felt like I walked toward a grand watercolor painting. Parts of the remaining gargoyles even graced some of the towers and edges. Uniquely shaped low buildings, made of long recycled shipping containers, looked out of place against the grandeur.

Up close, the confusing mix of periods continued. Crumbling walls had been fixed with uneven patches of materials from many different eras. Chunks of fallen stone rested in corners or where they’d been chucked out the nearest window. Brown dirt and tundra dominated the empty spaces.

I found the main entrance to the building and recognized the large foyer of dizzying stairs and hallways I’d passed through earlier. Magic made my feet tingle as it pushed the dirt off my shoes, so I didn't track it inside. The same metal plates above my dorm room were above every door and cross-section.

My map came out of my top damp with sweat and a little torn, but I could still read it. I’d always been good with patterns and quickly found my dorm room again.

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