Page 44 of Self Studies

Magus Terra nodded sharply. “And how did you call down your lightning storm?”

Derek licked his lips. “I believe I vibrated the molecules in the air until they possessed enough energy to become lightning.”

“Excellent, sit,” Magus Terra said.

I didn’t have a chance to comfort the kid before Magus Terra called on another student. Her story was similar, though she’d drowned her stepfather with water that she’d somehow made appear out of thin air.

“Wrong, sit.” Magus Terra said.

I blinked; how could someone be wrong about their past?

Magus Terra’s gaze swept the room. “Phillip, same question.”

The kid who couldn’t be more than twelve stood. “I blew up an airplane!” He said excitedly. “All the people ran; a few even came down the ramps on fire! I used fire to heat the metal.”

My jaw dropped at his joy. He’d hurt people, probably killed them, and he was happy about it? I withdrew further into myself.

“Wrong, sit,” Magus Terra said, shaking his head. “As much as you all might feel it is, magic’s not connected to your emotions or the traditional five elements of life. Natural or Rimmed Mage, magic’s a combination of the understood and physics.” He walked to the wall behind his desk. “Magic’s energy that must start somewhere and has everything to do with movement and control. Neither fire nor water can appear out of thin air. You drowned your step-father using the fluid and the energy already stored in his body.” Magus Terra looked dramatically around the room. “You all reacted emotionally. Your basic fight or flight kicked in. Without exception, you must be able to see past your emotions, good or bad, if you ever want to graduate from this program.”

I looked down at my desk; the metal reflected my face in a wavy blur.

Magic wasn’t dark or light. Magic was magic. Damon had told me the same over and over. Last night, the book I’d been reading focused on big moral concepts, like killing people or destroying their futures. I’d not done any of those things. But, what Damon did with my magic, I didn’t know. His actions must have hurt people, or I wouldn't be here.

I closed my eyes, remembering my conversation with Alice after she’d startled me awake in the Library.

“Heavy or light reading, always return your books to the carts,” Alice said cheerily. “It’s important we know what books are being used and how often.”

Fear and uncertainty made my breaths come too fast. “Why?” Misdirected anger from everything that had happened to me swelled in my chest. “Why aren’t you judging me? Why are you so nice to me?”

“I’m not judging you because the world isn’t black and white,” Alice explained, her posture wilting. “And I’m nice to everyone. That’s who I am. Life isn’t about being good or evil; it’s about doing the best you can in each moment. It’s all any of us can do.”

Magus Terra’s voice rose and pulled me out of my memory. “Now, direct your attention to the diagram on page 24.”

I turned my page; dread made my hands fumble. Instead of something I couldn’t understand appearing, a table of numbers met my eyes. Red, yellow, and blue rows spanned across columns filled with figures. Although I didn’t know what the figures meant, I could see patterns in their growth. It calmed me.

“Once a fire is going, it’s easy to keep it lit,” Magus Terra explained. “However, all of you are here because you’ve only been able to add to the flames. After these last three months of reading and theorizing, it’s time to try and light your first spark.”

He pointed behind him, and a copy of the page in front of me appeared on the wall.

“Find the row that’s your power source,” he instructed. “If you have mixed sources, as most of you do, you’ll need to try to find a balance. I shouldn’t need to remind you but, red-rims are stolen, blue-rims are internal, and yellow-rims are external. If you don’t understand what colors exist within you, go back to art class. Remember that blue and red mixed together make purple and the like.”

“What about Natural Mages,” one of the students asked.

Magus Terra gave a sharp nod. “You have equal access to all three. However, you must develop your skills and often find a predisposition to one or two. And no, it does not make Natural Mages more powerful, despite what they say.”

“It makes them balanced,” the kid who lit the airplane on fire stated boldly. “That’s what the MA agent told my dad.”

“That’s what we call a baseless claim and a discussion for a different class,” Magus Terra stated. “We’re starting with column one; your goal is individual to your abilities. Those who need to steal their magic may take one of the potted plants off the shelf in the back. Before you ask, they’ve been modified to hold exactly the amount of life energy you need for this first working.”

No one moved. “This isn’t a group challenge. Begin!” A few murmers filled the room. I looked at the chart. I wasn’t any of these things. I couldn’t touch my magic.

“I didn’t mean to kill those people,” Derek said, turning to me. I forced my attention away from my internal conflict. “I didn’t even know I had magic. I was so upset, and the storm….”

“What part of not a group challenge did you not understand, Derek?” Magus Terra’s boomed. “Aphrodite. I expect you to be caught up with our theoretical lessons in the next three weeks. Class time will be spent reading and acquainting yourself with the basics of physics and energy movement, without distracting your fellow students.” He pulled out a piece of paper and moved to my desk. “Supplemental reading from the library on magical theory. I suggest you don’t skip it.”

I took the paper with a nod.

Magus Terra made his way around the room, circulating like Professor Garnet had during my very first class. A longing filled my gut. I wanted to have another class with the professor, but my schedule only had class names; I had no idea who taught them.

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