Page 41 of Self Studies

Sandy spit out her drink. Pure shock colored Roisin’s face, and the twins paused.

“Were you raised under a rock?” Sandy asked.

I tried to hide behind my food. “Ahh, that’s the short version of it.”

Roisin rubbed the side of her face as she studied me. “I won’t push you to share, but eventually, someone here will.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I didn’t know I was doing it, but when puberty hit, I started draining the life out of the people I touched.” Roisin’s violet rims burned into me. “My entire family was hospitalized. We didn’t know why, and I went to stay with a neighbor with kids my age. We were watching The Exorcist. It was the first time I’d ever seen a horror film, and I was terrified. Both my friend and her mom had let me grab onto their hands. Her mom had even put her hand over my eyes when it got too scary for me. They both slipped into a coma. That was three years ago. I still don’t know if they woke up.”

The urge to hug Roisin rose in my chest. I pushed it down.

She brushed a tear out of the corner of her eye with practiced ease. It took me a moment to realize all the girls at the table were looking at me, expecting me to share something in exchange. The table grew awkwardly silent when I didn’t.

An uncomfortable knot formed in my stomach. “I want to focus on the future.”

Roisin took a breath to speak, but Sandy cut her off before she could. “Whatever, she doesn’t want to talk about herself. Have you talked to Beryl? OMG, did he force your secrets out of you? Is that why you’re so quiet?”

“No,” I said quickly, even though Beryl knew pretty much everything about me.

Sandy looked disappointed.

Roisin cleared her throat. “A harem is a collection of people that powerful male mages gather around themselves.”

“It’s so much more than that,” Sandy gushed. “It’s sex and bonding and commitment and love.”

A blush covered Sandy’s cheeks. She brought her hands together in front of her and squirmed.

I picked up my Reuben, took a quick bite, and swallowed. “Beryl didn’t mention anything about a harem. Are harems normal? Should he have asked me?”

One of the twins wilted and gave me a pitying look. “Oh, sweetie.”

“What do you see when you look around this room?” Roisin asked before the twins could continue. It was a room full of people. Groups of two or more talked and laughed and ate.

“Right,” Roisin said after I had said as much. “Groups. There are five mages powerful enough to have established harems, Beryl and Saffron included. Those not in harems usually group up around their Coterie, and the Coterie I’m in is for knitting.”

“Knitting?” I repeated. “Like a knitting club?”

Roisin nodded once. “Exactly. Coteries are about fitting into the non-magical part of life once we get out. My magic is tragic.”

“So tragic,” Sandy echoed dramatically.

Roisin pointed at her eyes. “Violet, a mix of blue and red. I can steal the magic and energy from others, but I can only use it on myself. When I get out, I want to go into social work so that fewer kids that suddenly come into magic end up here. A few of us have the same goals, and we’re all now in the knitting Coterie.”

“You do realize how naïve you are,” one of the twins scoffed. “They won’t let mages work with the general population, especially with our history. You need to work the system like the rest of us. Show the institute you’ve learned control, pass their stupid tests, and get the fuck out of here.”

Roisin vehemently shook her head. “You can’t work the system! It’s designed that way. We don’t even know what they use to judge who’s a ‘good mage’ and who isn’t. They’re listening to this very conversation.” Roisin sighed. “Are my Aptitudes getting worse because I’m talking about them? Or are all of ours getting better because we are critically thinking about right versus wrong?” Roisin rubbed the side of her temple and let out a frustrated breath. “As Doctor Roy always says in class, life’s shades of grey. The entire point of being here is to give us the tools to make better choices.”

Both twins scrunched up their faces; a balled fist hit the table hard. “We’re here to be pissed on,” one of the twins said. “A last chance, so society doesn’t feel bad killing us.”

Sandy’s arms flailed in the middle of the table, and she knocked over her water. “Oopsy,” she said lightly. Her fingers danced, and colorful greenish-yellow magic blanketed the spill. “Roisin hasn’t joined a harem because she’s waiting for her book boyfriends to come to life.” Sandy’s eyes glowed as she looked at me. “Her one true love.”

I could feel Roisin blush. But the statement effectively ended what was going to become an argument. I dunked my sandwich and took another bite. The girls began pointing out the different Coteries and Harems. Saffron, busy as he was, seemed to have both a Coterie and a Harem. None of them mentioned Professor Garnet at all.

“I know I said this already,” Roisin ended with, “But you need to be careful who you make friends with.”

One of the twins made a thoughtless gesture toward me. “She’s a slut. I don’t think she cares.”

I frowned and studied my reflection on the metal table.

“What is a slut?” Sandy snarled. “I hate that word. Male mages literally keep harems. Ghalen sleeps with all three of his girlfriends at the same time. They’ve been in trouble multiple times for posting videos of their orgies. I know. I’ve watched them all. No one calls any of them sluts. Maybe artists...”

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