Page 39 of Self Studies

I wrinkled my nose and squirmed. Instead of dealing with the mix of warmth and discomfort that flooded me, I focused on what he’d said while we’d been at it.

“Milk me,” I mimicked with a giggle.

A flush immediately stained his dark cheeks.

“A man can’t be held responsible for the things he says in the middle of incredibly hot sex with his goddess.”

He captured my lips and squeezed my butt.

I kissed him back with everything I had. “Thank you, again, for rescuing me.” I leaned my head against his bare chest. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Beryl chuckled. “You’re hot, powerful, and boarding the beef bus. Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

I lifted my head and poked him in the chest. “Really.”

Beryl captured my hand, his features darkening. The room grew so still, I could’ve heard a pin drop.

Instead of making a joke, he pulled me into his chest. “You ran from me, and I followed you. I don’t even know why.” His heart raced. “I’ve not had it easy, but when you cried in my arms by the barrier. I didn’t know emotions could run that deep.”

I wrapped my arms around him, suddenly unsure who was comforting who.

His chest rumbled with his words. “Something snapped inside me. I’ve just existed, doing the same things over and over, day in and day out.” The warmth of his arms left me as he cupped my cheek. My world became his sapphire gaze. “If you can experience pain like that. You can experience the good stuff too.”

A tear leaked out of my eye, trailing down my cheek to spill onto his hand. Without knowing anything about me, Beryl somehow got me. We were two lost souls, and we both knew it.

He released my face to squeeze my ass again. “I didn’t think you’d be in the mood for this.”

I wiped the tear off my cheek and grinned at him. “Stop. I wanted you. I don’t want my memory of today to be the people who attacked me.”

Beryl frowned, laying down and pulling me under his arm. “Dot, what happened to you before you got here?”

I pressed my ear against his chest, focusing on his heartbeat and wishing I didn’t understand his question. “I lived. I don’t have a story.” I began softly. “Damon was my mom and my dad. He taught me how to use the toilet, and he read with me every night. It was mostly textbooks, even as a child, but he still loved me in his own way. Even when he…” I trailed off, my stomach twisted. “I know he groomed me to be his slave. I know he’s probably the reason I can’t use my magic and have gaping holes in my knowledge of the world.” I paused, feeling stupid, but I kept talking anyway. “I didn’t question it or my life because I never needed to. He always had all the answers.”

Beryl squeezed me to him.

“After he…” I tried again but failed, still unable to voice what I’d gone through. “At thirteen, I had my one rebellious streak, and I fell trying to get out my window to run away. I landed in a big square trash can filled with rotting meats and feral cats. They scratched me up before a homeless man fished me out and stole the few bucks I’d managed to scrounge together to escape with.” I bit my bottom lip. “Needless to say, I didn’t get very far. Damon let me know how much happier I’d be if I stayed with him and did as told.” I sighed. “And I was, until I learned that I wasn’t.” I tried to lighten the mood. “Despite my beast being a dragon, I’m not full of courage.”

Beryl squeezed me again. “Courage is living through all of that. It’s not just for white dudes in suits of armor.” He had his head resting on his bent elbow behind his back. “My family didn’t have much. The minute things went south; they gave me to the MA. They were only human, and I turned into a magical terror. It took courage for them to put me where I belonged.”

“Beryl, you don’t belong here any more than me,” I said, knowing it in my heart.

“You’ve no idea, Dot,” Beryl squeezed his eyes shut.

I opened my mouth to ask him more or reassure him or something, but before I could continue, he rolled us and started mercilessly tickling me. I screeched like a banshee and wiggled out of his grasp.

It took me a moment to stop laughing. “You’re fortunate you only have one roommate.”

“It’s not luck; it’s seniority,” Beryl gave me a wink. “Let’s get you to dinner before Boy Scout sends a search party. He’s set up something with your cool roommates. Not the red-headed banshee that rules his life.”

I snorted. “How do you know?”

Beryl grinned. “I let him know I’m your dinner escort. Poor kid’s heartbroken.”

I rolled my eyes, very much doubting that.

Dressed, with Beryl’s arm confidently around my waist, we made our way to the cafeteria. I reached up and squeezed my almost clear gem through my hoodie, deciding to skip dinner instead of trying to figure out what I could afford. If it weren’t for Saffron’s set up with my roommates, I honestly would’ve run back to my dorm.

The oppressive blanket of noise from the heaving cafeteria made me falter at the entrance.

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