Page 3 of Self Studies

I flinched at the sound of my name coming out of another man’s lips and ducked my head.

He gestured sharply to a pile of clothing I hadn’t noticed on a metal side table.

I blinked, the fog in my mind disconnecting the garments from an action.

“Aphrodite,” the man snapped.

He jabbed his hand again.

The gears in my head ground slowly. I needed to put the clothing on.

On autopilot, I slipped off the bed. The discomfort from pulling out the IV seemed to be happening to someone else. Bright red blood welled up and dripped down my forearm as one sustained tone dominated my hearing.

Norah looked up from the tablet and blanched. She ran to the machine and turned it off. “I’m surprised pulling out the IV didn’t make you scream. It must have been painful. At least put pressure on it until I can stop the bleeding.”

I winced as I did as she asked.

The Nurse rummaged around in a drawer. “Mitch, let me stop the bleeding before you take her.”

I turned my attention to Advisor Crowe, disturbed to find his head level with my own. He nodded, and his pleased smile made my world tilt with unease.

I studied the patterns on the tiled floor, holding out my arm for Norah.

‘Your will is my will,’ Damon’s voice echoed in my mind. ‘Your body, your very thoughts, echo only my needs. Say it every night before you go to bed, every morning when you wake up. This is the mantra you live by. It will make you happy because it will make me happy.’

I closed my eyes, silently repeating my truth, desperate to draw strength from it. But Damon still hadn’t appeared. My heart ached, already aware of something I wasn’t willing to accept.

I flinched when Norah picked up my arm. The minor runes she drew over my puncture wound glowed brightly with the woman’s orange magic and sent slight tingles of lust down my arm. I bit my bottom lip at the unexpected sensation. I’d never read about lust being a side effect of healing, but I’d also never been magically fixed before by a rune or a potion. The curiosity I’d long buried crept through the fog. Before it could go far, numbing loss swallowed it.

“We’ll leave you to get dressed, sweetie.” Norah squeezed my arm.

With less drama this time, the curtain slid back and forth as they exited.

It took me a moment to remember how my arms and legs worked. Clinging to the bed for support, I approached my familiar clothing. The smell of smoke and the slightly metallic tang of blood still clung to it, thrusting me back into my last memory of my master. My hands hovered above the pile, and despair threatened to cut through the numbness.

I hadn’t realized I’d started panting until Norah’s voice came through the curtain. “Sweetie, I’m coming in. Just take deep breaths.”

The nurse quickly moved to my side. “I’ll get it for you. Can you use magic?”

I shook my head. My magic existed for my master. I had no access to it.

‘You’re a vessel to be used by me and me alone. Your magic is useless to you, uncontrollable. Like you, it belongs to me.’

“Do you know where you are?” Norah’s hands fluttered like she wanted to touch me. “The Charbon Institute’s a school for magical kids. Well, and young adults, like you, who need a second chance.” She smiled at me and nodded. “We want you to live an honest life, contributing to society. I don’t know specifically why you’re here, but you're magical—even if you’ve not learned to control it yet.”

My hands trembled, still not touching my outfit. I laced my fingers together and pulled them into my stomach, drifting in the haze of numbness surrounding me.

Norah picked up the pile of clothing with one hand. “You’re in Alaska.”

I just stood there. Alaska. I’d never even heard of it.

The rims around her irises briefly glowed a brighter orange, and she drew a rune with her index finger. Her spell seeped into my clothing, erasing the smells and bloodstains.

The sound of someone kicking metal on the other side of the curtain reminded me I had a task to complete.

“I already know about your illegal socket. You don’t need to hide from me,” Norah said quietly. “Experimental tech should never have been forced on you. But it’s grafted into your very bones and intertwined with both your magic and your nervous system, I’m sorry. It can’t be taken out.”

I blinked. I’d no idea my socket was illegal or experimental. I’d had the rose-shaped bit of copper and silver since I was a little girl; I didn’t even remember getting it.

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