Page 17 of Self Studies

My next class took me outside. A long pyramid shape made of stacked shipping containers slowly grew bigger as I approached, only their framework shown through the glass that replaced their sides, creating a greenhouse. Introduction to herbology is what it said on my schedule. Unable to slip in under the radar, a stout middle-aged woman stopped me at the narrow entrance.

“A-hem,” she said, her voice as severe as the tight braid on her head. She absently brushed at some dirt on her heavy-duty apron. “You must be the new student. No name on your paperwork, even. I’ll not have you in my class until it’s sorted. Go to your advisor now.” She waved her hands in the air, and I dipped my head in embarrassment. “Damn your pink slip. For the life of me, I don’t understand what the administration is thinking.”

The woman handed me a flat square of brown paper. “Do you need help finding Advisor Crowe?”

Yellow, slightly glowing writing scrawled across the note. I pulled my attention back to the woman, shaking my head. My stomach twisted at the idea of dealing with my advisor again.

The woman made a shooing gesture with her hands. “Off with you.”

I didn’t dawdle, though my steps slowed as I got closer to my advisor’s office. He’d implied I needed to earn my place here. But the comments from instructors and students alike made me think I’d misunderstood him. I hated the piece of me which longed for Damon to tell me what to do.

Located halfway down the windowless hall, the simple brown wood door to Advisor Crowe’s office mocked me. Should I knock? Ask for help? With not much left to lose, I lightly tapped with my knuckles.

“Come in.” Advisor Crowe’s muffled voice called.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the heavy door. Advisor Crowe scanned my oversized hoodie distastefully. I shuffled forward and put the brown square note on his desk.

With a dramatic flourish, he picked it up. “This is giving you permission to leave class.”

Heat filled my cheeks; I’d not read it. “My paperwork is, ah, not complete,” I mumbled.

My stomach, which had been blessedly silent, happily eating itself after missing breakfast, chose this moment to growl loudly. I shoved a fist into my gut and waited.

A pleased smile ghosted across Advisor Crowe’s lips before his face filled with concern. “Oh, Aphrodite.” He motioned for me to sit with one hand while waving at something behind me with his other.

I glanced over my shoulder. A large man I’d not noticed before, dressed in a student uniform nodded and disappeared out the door I’d entered.

“Sit, my girl,” Advisor Crowe added when I still hadn’t responded to his gesture.

My butt hit the chair before my brain caught up.

“I’m so sorry you’ve been caught up in all of this. There’s so much incompetence amongst the staff at the Institute,” Advisor Crowe said, catching my gaze and nodding. “Are you suddenly uncomfortable in your clothing?”

I shifted, forcing myself not to pull further back into the garment.

“You looked amazing,” Advisor Crowe continued. “You’re so special.”

I frowned and studied his desk. His words were almost exactly the ones Damon used every day. I hated them.

“I’m sorry your paperwork has been delayed,” Advisor Crowe added. “It’s out of my hands, but I’m doing my best. The students here are cruel, as are the instructors. You don’t need to hide in that garment, but if it makes you comfortable, I’m glad you found it.”

I nodded a few times, his words releasing some of the tension in my shoulders. Maybe it had been my unease which made me respond so negatively to him in the first place.

He abruptly stood and came around his desk. His large meaty hand rested gently on my head before he ran his fingers slowly down my neck and slightly squeezed my shoulder. I wanted to pull away, but a lifetime of training held me still.

“Don’t fear,” Advisor Crowe said softly, his thumb rubbing a circle. “I’m here. I’ll fix everything, and when I’m unavailable, my apprentice, Ram, will make himself available. He’s a good man. Trustworthy, you can depend on him.”

I froze as my emotions went to war inside of me. My advisor offered me everything I thought I needed. Despite his hand on my neck making my skin crawl, I seriously considered it.

My advisor's thumb dipped into my hoodie, making me shudder.

I closed my eyes. Damon had touched me the same way and more. If I’d known what I know now, would I have still lusted after my master’s attention? What was worse, knowing or living in blissful ignorance?

The sound of the office door thudding shut made me jump. Advisor Crowe pulled away from me enough to turn as the large man, Ram, I assumed, returned. The smell of sizzling sausage drifted from the plate in his hands. My mouth started watering.

Like Advisor Crowe, he moved uncomfortably close to my unoccupied side. My gaze glued to the food on the plate. Two sausages of some variety, wrapped in buns, hit the desk in front of me. I started to reach for them but stopped myself.

“Take off your hoodie, and you can eat that,” Advisor Crowe said softly.

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