Page 14 of Self Studies

I carefully timed my entrance to be right before the double fog horn in hopes of attracting as little attention as possible. My ploy seemed to work.

The door thunked against my hand before it could close from the student before me. I peeked in, glad to see a much less populated classroom. Skylights on the low slanted roof bathed the room in the morning light. Rows of yoga mats lined the floor in sets of two making them look like plus signs. Students drifted towards their spots, mostly chattering to each other or playing on their phones. Although a few looked around my age, the majority were younger.

I hurried to an unoccupied spot at the back. One of my tween-aged neighbors had an open book resting against his pants, oblivious to the world. The other eyed me before turning to the kid on his other side.

Someone clapped their hands sharply once. “Quiet down now.” A deep male voice rose above the others. It took a few seconds, but the room quieted. Except for the teacher, those still standing sat. I shrunk further into my hoodie as I studied him.

He looked young for a teacher. Maybe, I didn’t really know how these things worked. Tall and solid, he wore a cream almost Viking styled V-neck tunic which coordinated well with his brown linen trousers. Bushy eyebrows accented his handsome features and balanced his mop of messy brown hair. He ran his fingers along the sides of his long chin before looking at them as if surprised to feel the scruff under them.

“We’ll be continuing from yesterday, Chakra meditation.” He paused and wrinkled his nose. “Can anyone remind the class of what a Chakra is and where they’re located in the body?”

Small desks rose out of the stone floor at students' gestures. Notebooks and writing utensils came out of matching bookbags. A few of them set their phones or much bigger tablets down with the same intention as the notebooks.

Although the teacher didn’t have a desk, the wall behind him glowed with runes and colors. A dizzying array of plants lined the far wall, all glowing faintly. At the command of his twirling fingers, the runes displayed the outline of a human body.

I lit up at the display. Damon had used magic sparingly. Most of what he took from me he poured into spells and potions which he sold elsewhere. I rarely got to see the results of our creations.

Although meditation didn’t interest me, I found myself drawn to the teacher's voice. Rich and warm, I could feel power simmering in every word—the textures wrapped around me as his lecture lulled me into almost a trance.

“Maybe that’s what happens when your Chakras align, professor,” one of the students interrupted his lecture.

The class laughed; the professor, not teacher, joined in. I flushed; I’d missed the joke. I crossed my legs and pulled my hoodie over them. The room settled down once more.

“Remember, this class covers all forms of meditation. Meditation is a tradition discovered by the magical and non-magical alike. Chakras may not align with your beliefs or how you interact with your magic, but you must understand your mind to control your magic. Each of you will have found what works for you in a few months. You’ll either continue with a group of like-minded peers or under the direction of an individual.”

“Will you be my mentor, Professor Garnet?” A female voice asked to a little chorus of giggles.

I blushed, suddenly aware of my own struggle to overcome the professor's good looks. Scanning the students’ faces, Professor Garnet tried to identify the voice. I ducked as best I could behind the student in front of me.

“It’s rare for individuals to find mentors amongst the faculty,” Professor Garnet answered, unable to identify the culprit. “Work hard, and find what makes you happy – regardless of who it is that helps you along the way. And always strive to be a better person than you were the day before.”

A younger kid, his voice too gruff to come out of his lean form, spoke. “What makes me happy isn’t legal.”

Professor Garnet stopped pacing. Unlike the girls, he seemed to know exactly who’d spoken up this time. “That’s an excellent point. You’ll have to find something legal that does. It’s why you’re all here. Dark magic’s like a drug, the power behind it is easy. The excuses we use to justify it are easy. But the world doesn’t need black magic. It needs light. You’ll leave this program with a different outlook on life or not at all. It’s that simple.”

The ease that had filled the room vanished.

My stomach sank. I didn’t know there was such a thing as black magic. Advisor Crowe had said Damon was evil. I’d been in too much shock to react at the time, but now his words echoed. A tremor of fear shot through me. I understood the concept of good and evil, right and wrong, but I’d never applied those concepts to myself. I just existed, an extension of Damon’s will.

Professor Garnet clapped his hand together, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts. “I went through this program. I have none of my own magic. I’m sure all of you have noticed my red-rimmed eyes. My magic consists of what I can take from the life force of others. When I was younger, that was all I did. I took, without giving anything back. Like me, I believe every one of you will find something, a reason to exist beyond your egos, but that starts with honestly knowing yourself.”

“I think there might be some better ways of getting to know yourself,” the same female voice broke the tension.

Professor Garnet chuckled. “I believe those techniques are best discovered on your own time. Now. Notes away. Get comfortable and feel your Chakras.”

A few students pulled off their shoes and took up various poses. Someone asked for a demonstration. Professor Garnet sat on a slightly raised platform with the same mats and obliged, citing the cultures his poses came from as he did. Others were already breathing in and out. I could feel their magic settling around them. The kid next to me opened his book on the ground and pushed his glasses to the end of his nose so he could keep reading.

“I can’t and won’t make you do anything.” Professor Garnet said evenly. “The one and the only person who truly cares about you is you. At the end of the day, all your friends, all your family, this entire world can’t help you unless you want to help yourself.”

I focused on the floor and tightened the strings on my hood. Damon had been my only family. I’d known no one else. Now he was dead, and a fire destroyed any clues he might have left.

I suddenly felt very alone.

Professor Garnet began circulating the room. Though his posture exuded control and power, his open face softened him. He took a moment to sit with a young girl struggling in the front row. The lean muscles across his arms and chest pulled as he sat. I bit my lower lip. Something about him called to me. I tried to push the feeling away, but that only made it worse.

As he approached the student nearest to the front door, he bent down to retrieve something off the floor. When he stood, a crisp white piece of paper, much like the one folded in my pocket, with a pink slip stapled to it, rested in his grip.

I didn’t wait for his head to snap up and start scanning the room. Closing my eyes, I tried to disappear into my hoodie.

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