Page 100 of The Dommes

Carolyn uncrosses her slender legs and wags a happy finger in my face. “You’re single, they’re single… a lothario, but they’re getting to be thirty and that will have to slow down soon… ah, you would be so good for Ira!”

I grit my teeth. “How so?”

“They need a woman from our world, truth be told. Ira likes spoiling girls, but at the end of the day, they don’t understand what it means to be a girl who is familiar with poverty. Ira doesn’t have the patience for that mindset. You come from many means, but you’re not snobby about it. You know I love you for the social work you do.”

“Thanks.”

“Ira also needs a woman who will challenge them intellectually and not put up with their shit. Ira thinks they’re happy with the pretty tarts, but what they need is a pretty, uh, non-tart.”

I can’t believe this conversation is happening.

“Look, Kathleen, dear, I’ve been thinking a lot about this ever since seeing you two working. Plus, may I say that you two are mighty handsome together? Between that newscast earlier today and the presentation a while ago… look, I’m not the type of woman to crow about grandbabies, but I have to admit I… oh, I’m embarrassing you!”

“Not really.” I can’t keep my lip from twitching. Ira and me. Having kids. I don’t think so. They would have to take it up with my IUD first, and Ira isn’t even equipped to knock me up. Avalon isn’t that good yet! “Please don’t tell me you’ve told Ira this.”

“Goodness, no. I like to tease you two, but I have no intention of making your lives utter hell. I suppose this is all a result of… well, dear, I hate to bring out the TMI, but I got official word from my doctor that I’m going through the change and… it’s worse than puberty in terms of the hormones.”

“I see.” Great. So Carolyn is starting menopause, and I’m the first casualty.

“I’m worried about my child. Forgive me, Kathleen, for being so nosy and meddling. You’re a good girl. A good woman. The kind of woman an aging bitty like me would like to see keep her offspring grounded when she can’t anymore.”

It’s like a stab to my heart. Not because I think Ira is incompetent, but because I like Carolyn, and seeing her fret like this is not only so unlike her but reminds me that anything can happen to our psyche as we age and face unpleasant facts. No, Carolyn isn’t anywhere near death that I know of, but I can imagine starting menopause is a harsh reminder of one’s mortality. I’ll know in about twenty years.

“Well…” I look away, blushing. No one wants to admit that she’s screwing another woman’s child. Not that I have to admit it. But…

“Ira and I are fairly good friends,” I continue. “I wouldn’t worry about her. I have my ways of keeping her in line.” The flash of a smile on my face is almost genuine.

“My dear… what exactly does ‘good friends’ mean?”

The smile falls off my face. “Excuse me?”

“I knew it.” She puts the coffee down and stands, shuffling toward me, like a multi-colored ghost wafting toward another soul. “Please don’t deny it, Kathleen! I’ve seen the way Ira looks at you these days. A mother knows!”

Her giddiness would be sweet if it weren’t for one painful fact – it won’t work between us. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“Stop playing coy. It’s not a good look on you.” Carolyn puts her hand on my shoulder. “You and Ira are seeing each other… aren’t you?”

I’m looking into this woman’s glistening eyes, full of hope and encouragement. Fuck me. In the realm of the world, I couldn’t do much better than Carolyn for a mother-in-law of some sort. God knows she’s more of a mother to me than my own.

“I…”

“Donovan told me! Stop hiding it!”

Adrenaline courses through my veins. I’m not scared. I swear! “What?”

“He told me the other night that Ira told him about you two playing some come-hither game. Now either Ira is a dirty liar who needs a talking to about protecting someone’s reputation, or you’re not being forthcoming with me. Either option is not pleasant!”

Now’s the time for me to show some maturity. Come on, Kathleen. She clearly knows. I’m not happy that she knows – let alone that Ira is blabbing to a bigger blabbermouth like her parents – but it can’t be helped. If I keep denying it or pretending that I don’t know what she’s talking about, I’m just going to make things harder for myself. Plus, it sounds like I’m ashamed, and I hardly am.

“All right, but it’s casual.”

A smile as bright as the sunlight pouring through the window behind me lights up Carolyn’s cheekbones. “Oh, it’s time for me to start going back to church, because my prayers have been answered.” She bends down and kisses me on the cheek, like we’re suddenly family. “A smart girl like you with my aimless, spoiled kid? Why, I…”

“I said it’s casual.” Why won’t people believe this?

“Yes, yes, casual for now, but…”

“Carolyn!” I leap up, not intending to get in her face, but hey, she got in mine so it’s only fair. “Ira and I are so fundamentally different that it could never be anything but casual. We’re… together… for now, but only until we find better partners that are more suitable.” That’s what I believe, anyway. “I don’t want to get into the details with my girlfriend’s mother. Trust me when I say that it’s casual, and it has to stay that way.”

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