Page 59 of The Dommes

I get up and look at myself in the mirror. My makeup is still smudged, but I look like the woman who showed up a half hour ago.

Oh, how things change in half an hour.

To her credit, Ira hasn’t bothered me since telling me to use the guest bathroom to clean up. She knows what she’s done. She knows why I’m in here screaming to myself.

Which means I can’t forgive her. I should leave. Without a word. Just grab my bag and leave, vowing to make her life hell.

Instead, I slowly open the bathroom door, peering through the crack and looking for Ira. My bag is on the couch. I go there, calculating whether I should take a cab or walk off my anger.

“Katie.”

Her arms are around me, her mouth on my shoulder and her scent so overwhelming that for a moment I forget what she’s done. Then she squeezes my breast, her other hand moving toward my groin. I don’t want her to feel how turned on I am.

Too late.

“Stop.” I put my hands on hers, and gradually, we stop rocking. “I need to go.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

I don’t say it with enough conviction. Somehow, she has worn me down to a wisp.

“Did I frighten you? I’m sorry.”

“See? You do know.”

“I had to put you in your place, Kathleen.” Her hands roam up my body, stroking my nipple, massaging my neck. “You were looking at me like a Domme rewarding her sub. I am not your sub. You’re the sub tonight. Besides…” She feels my thigh, noticing how hot it is. Damn her! “That first time was an accident, I assure you. This is different for me too, you know. You were scared, but you weren’t scared of me. You were scared of liking it. That happens a lot. You’re talking to someone more used to the inexperienced than you are.”

She’s chatting as if I don’t know. I’m not a treasure to be coddled. I’m not a wide-eye sub finally finding out why she likes having her ass tapped. I’m a grown woman who has been in the BDSM scene for years. I just don’t… do this…

I don’t submit. It was stupid to have come here.

“I won’t promise to go easier on you. That would defeat the purpose.” Her grip on me relaxes, but I still don’t feel at ease. If anything, I want her to hold me tighter. Go ahead. Squeeze me to death and put me out of this internal-turmoil-misery.

She doesn’t.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel, Katie.” Ira’s voice is so gentle that I almost fall for it. “You’re still a strong woman. It’s strong women who know and understand what they want. You came to me. If you leave now, you’ll never indulge in this side of yourself again. You’ll be too scared to, with me, with anyone. It's natural to be unsure. Your boundaries are probably being pushed. Safety is my priority.” Ira cups her hand beneath my chin and turns my head around, her lips nearly on mine. “I won’t hurt you. I’m making love to you. I’m pleasuring you.”

I suck on my lip, holding in what can only be described as a weak mewl. God, I’m pathetic. Especially for her.

“Nothing will be done to you that you don’t want. I’m learning about you and what you like as a sub. If I don’t think you’re getting off on something, I’ll stop unless you tell me otherwise. I want you to feel good, even if there’s pain. But…” She steps back, turns me around, hands clamped on my arms as she makes me look at her. Ira’s hazel eyes are wild. Rebellious. “You have to listen to me. If you don’t, it could get bad for you. I need you to trust me. If you trust me with your mind and body, then I’ll trust you to tell me when you need to stop.”

These words sound good. Comforting. The little part inside of me that wants to keep going clings to Ira, and I realize it’s not a Mistress that I’m afraid of…

It’s her.

The submissive side of me. The side I’ve never indulged in because of fear.

I’ll never have a better chance to get to know her than now. Ira is patient. She knows how to be safe. Furthermore, she knows what she’s doing, and she’s already familiar with my body and its sexual responses. I couldn’t ask for a better chance.

Wait. I did. I did ask for this.

I kiss her, tentatively, letting my lips peck her until she wraps her arms back around me and pulls me in for a harder kiss. She’s not pushing me. She’s letting me take control for a moment. One blissful moment.

Can she sense it? The submissive in me coming out? My desire to feel her in such an intimate way… manifesting?

She tries to talk through our kisses, and I barely understand her. “You need a safe word.”

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