Page 186 of The Dommes

“While we’re still working together?”

“Are we incapable of working together?”

“No, but…” I’ll want her. If she’s around me and says that I can’t have her, well… I don’t know how I’ll act. Probably embarrass myself and sully my reputation with her even more. Because although she says I didn’t do anything, I clearly have! “That’s not a fair request.”

“You’ve made plenty of unfair requests of me so far, Ira.” I don’t like that tone in her voice. “I think you can handle this one. I don’t care. Use the showerhead more often. Go fuck some other young blonde for a while. I’m tired. I need some time to think. I… might take a quick vacation and go somewhere. I might go visit my mom.”

“Oh, so you’re breaking up with me and abandoning the project.”

The server starts coming with our food and quickly walks away. Now is not a good time.

“I’m not abandoning the project. I’ll let you keep Annie. You won’t have to pay me for the week or two I jet off. Just… please. Let me take a break for a while. From everything.”

She keeps saying that she’s not abandoning me – or the project, I suppose. She keeps saying that she’s not breaking up with me, per se, but she’s talking about me fucking other women and taking over the whole project without her help.

“You can’t do this.” My elbow is on the table, a punishable offense in my family home. An angrier finger than I intend pushes toward her face. “You can’t walk away until we talk.”

“I don’t even know how to talk about it. You’re the one with the upper hand. I’m tired of it. I need a break. Please, Ira, realize that I’m not going away forever.”

“If you weren’t, you would say you’re going to visit your mom and that you’re sorry you’re leaving me with the job five weeks before we open. Don’t you get it? I need you!”

My fists slam on the table. People are looking at us, some of them overtly while others give us side glares to rival our mothers. Fuck yeah, I’m being disruptive. Don’t you judge me. Don’t you see? I’m sitting at this fucking table with the woman I love, her telling me that she wants to take a break from sex and romance. Right when I’m falling head over heels!

The hell is her problem?

“Ira.” She puts one hand on mine, and instantly I feel soothed… until I remember what she said only a few minutes ago. “You haven’t done anything. All I need is a short break from what we have personally going on so I can sort out my thoughts. You asked for the same thing a while ago, didn’t you?”

“That was different,” I growl. “I didn’t want a break. I wanted time to figure out my feelings for you.”

“And so do I. Except I can’t keep sleeping with you, let alone… the other stuff… while I’m sorting it out. It keeps confusing me.”

“You’re confused?”

If her eyes roll any harder, I might be picking them up off the floor. “I don’t want this to be dramatic. I don’t want this to be an end. I know the love thing is making this more difficult…”

“Kathleen.” I snatch my hand away and clasp it over hers. It’s domineering. It’s probably uncalled for. Like fuck I’m giving her the chance to even think about getting away from me, though. “Do you love me?”

“What?”

I said that too loudly. I glance around the restaurant, wondering who’s listening. People we do business with. People who know our parents. People who gossip and want a chance to say, “Did you hear about Ira Mathison and Kathleen Allen having a lover’s spat in public? Truly their parents’ children.”

Kathleen narrows her eyes. “How dare you ask me that.”

“How dare I? I’ve been pretty forthcoming with my feelings for you. The least you could do is be more forthcoming with me.”

“I have been.”

We’re at an impasse. I’m pissed. She’s pissed. The server’s pissed because he wants to give us our food. Meanwhile, yours truly keeps fantasizing about all of this going away… about us going back to my place, or hers, and fucking our problems away.

Kathleen leans back in her seat, arms crossed. “You can be such an asshole, Mathison.”

“I’m an asshole?”

“You fucking heard me.”

“Says the woman breaking up with me.”

“I’m not…” She cuts herself off, holding up her hands. “Fine. I’m a huge asshole, but at least I stand up for myself. I doubt you can say that for many of the women you’ve dated.”

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