Page 150 of The Dommes

“Hmph.” Stephanie shrugs. “I want a lot of things. I want an Academy Award. I want to make as much as Chris Pratt on my next film. I want to be Maxim’s hottest woman of the year. I want…” She looks at me, but not in a lascivious way – thank God. “I want security.”

“If you’re looking to blackmail us, then you’re way out of your league,” Ira says. “Besides, I’m not sure what you would blackmail us over.”

“Blackmail? Hardly. More like ensuring that we’re both taken care of. I get some funds to help my acting addiction, and you get to keep your secret perversions out of the press.”

“What are you talking about?” Careful, Stephanie, Ira might bite. “Nobody cares what the hell I do in my private time.”

“No, perhaps they don’t care about you.” When Stephanie looks at me, I’m almost convinced she’s going to punch between my ribs and rip out my heart. “They might want to know about her, though.”

I grit my teeth.

Once again, I am taken back to my scene with Ira, where she made me confess my worries and insecurities. This would be another one… having the whole world know about my love for kink. Not solely domination. If word got out in our broader social circles that I was now subbing? Never. I would never be taken seriously again. By anyone.

Kinky people would understand better than the non-kinksters, but the few other Dommes I know would consider me with trepidation. Probably. If I am to eventually debut as a switch in my relationship with Ira, then it has to be done tastefully. Having someone like Stephanie leak it to the local press? I would rather die.

I hear a click. Stephanie puts her phone away. I realize what she’s done.

Taken a picture of me. Like this.

“None of this is necessary.” Ira steps between her and me, as if she could block what everyone sees in that picture. “Neither Kathleen nor I have anything to hide. You need to leave.”

Stephanie trudges to the door, taking a long, hard look at me with a smirk to rival one of Ira’s. It’s as if she’s saying, “You know what you have to lose. We understand.”

Yeah, I understand.

Stephanie leaves, with her evidence of me in a compromising position. Ira acts as if it’s nothing when she tries to plant a kiss on my cheek.

I step back.

“Katie, don’t listen to her.” She follows me into the bedroom, sidestepping the cat who has decided to come out and roll around our feet. “She’s clearly a mess. Even if people believed her, so what? It’s not worth paying her off.”

“Especially since she’s dating your dad now, right?”

She closes the bedroom door behind her. “That’s not the point. Well, I mean, that’s a problem, but I doubt it’s going to last for long. Not after I tell him what she’s done here.”

“Oh my God, Ira …” What? Tell her father what we’re up to in the bedroom and why that’s something someone would find blackmail worthy? I don’t think so! “You don’t get it. I could lose… I don’t know how much. If I turn up on Page 6 with all my kinks listed, nobody would work with me again!”

She puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me right in the eye. I wish I could say I feel safe here, but… “Nobody’s going to find out. Even if they did? I would make their lives a living hell. It’s the least I could do.”

“I don’t know what you did to that woman, but I wish you hadn’t.”

She steps back. “What makes you think I did something?”

“Maybe. I dunno. I mean…” How can I make Ira understand where I’m coming from? Inside me is a battle between kissing her and pushing her away. I don’t doubt her sincerity, but I do judge her ability to understand me. “It seems like the deeper we go into this relationship, the more I have to compromise my identity.”

Waiting, I expect her to say something along the lines of, “You never have to do that.” Instead, what I get is, “I love you.”

This is it. The moment Ira Mathison confesses her feelings to me… I can’t bring myself to accept them. As nice as it is to hear those words, they aren’t what I need to hear.

I need to hear her say that everything will be okay. That we’ll be okay.

As long as this relationship continues, I will push my boundaries and take risks that I never anticipated before. What has she done? What compromise is she making for me? So far, all I’ve done is change every fucking part of who I am.

A relationship like this can’t be sustained. I can’t keep falling down this rabbit hole and not expect to explode.

Now she says she loves me? She wants to kiss me and lure me back to bed as if nothing happened? Has happened?

What have I gotten myself into?

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