Page 180 of The Dommes

No, Ira, you can’t empathize with my position.

“What do you want?” Her hands are on my face, caressing me until I am lulled into a half-sleep. “Your last night. You can have anything you want. Just name it.”

Even though I know what she means, I can’t help but answer, “I want to be with you.”

Somehow, she knows exactly what I’m saying. Ira drops me from my binds, removes the clamps, pushes me onto the bed, and takes me.

No, I take her. We take each other.

My limbs wrap around her. Our tongues dance. Her body overcomes mine, but I’m giving to her as much as she’s giving to me. Even though I give her this, the collar is still on, and my brain is still in the space of a sub.

I’m giving myself to her. I’m letting her take from me. Everything she gives to me is because I’m being so good, so obedient, so exactly what she wants in a woman. My heart overflows with a joy I never thought I’d experience – not as a sub, anyway. Yet my brain keeps ticking away all the reasons I am unhappy.

I think of those people in the main area of the club. I want to. I want to walk out there and tell this insular world that Ira is my Domme and I am her sub whenever I put on this collar. I want her to leash me. I want her to parade me around like a good girl she’s enamored with.

I want this. I can’t have it, though, because Kathleen won’t let me.

She’s inside me. I’m crying. Tears of happiness, I tell her, encouraging her to continue. She does so, gently, but I’m famished, thrusting back against her, taking her into me, refusing to let her go.

Could you tell her this for me? That I want to belong to her, now, forever? That I want moments like these for as long as I live? But you also have to tell her that it would never work out. Oh, God, it’s not going to work out!

No. No, don’t tell her. I don’t want this moment ruined. I’m reveling in too much love.

Ira promised to take me away from reality, and she did that. What do I do when I have to go back to reality?

She stills within me, her grunts warning me that she’s about to climax. I wait, lips searching for hers.

The moment we kiss, she comes.

Why am I crying out? It doesn’t feel any better than usual. It’s not scaring me. Yes, it feels good. Not as good as her kissing me, but good. Yet I’m crying out, my breathy moans claiming me in the same way she claims me.

“Katie,” she murmurs mid-orgasm, keeping me trapped in this fantasy world we’ve constructed. “Kathleen…”

Kathleen. The person I really am. The person I want to remain.

Congratulations, Ira, you’ve split me into two different people. Both of them love you, but only one of them could ever be happy in the long term with you.

It’s not Kathleen, the woman I quickly return to being.

Ira, we can’t be happy until you’ve made Kathleen happy. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t even know what the problem really is.

No, I do.

I’m a Domme, Ira. As good as this feels, it can’t sustain me forever.

I see Mistress Dawn in my mind, caressing her sub, a total stranger, but someone so in love with what she is doing. The power she casts upon her. I want to be her. I want her to be you.

Tell me, Ira…

Are there two of you as well?

Chapter 65

Ira

“Over here. No, look over here. Oh, come on…”

Cats. I swear to God.

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