Page 51 of Mafia Don's Secret Baby

I nodded and finally moved toward the hot tub.

Even just the sight of him had my core turning molten again. The broad shoulders. The way his hair hung loosely at his shoulders. He’d taken it out of his slicked-back bun, and it hung down in unruly curls. I realized that he never allowed it to be messy like this. It was always tied back out of his face.

Wearing it like this was a liability. It was in the way, but with me, he didn’t seem to care.

I envisioned running my fingers through it, but I blinked away the fantasy.

Not yet. Not tonight.

I walked down the three steps before dropping into the hot water. My muscles immediately loosened, and I groaned as I sat on the side opposite Matteo.

“I just…I need to make some decisions, and I can’t have my lust for you clouding my judgment. I hope you understand.”

He nodded and leaned back. His motions appeared anything but relaxed. I could tell that staying away was taking a toll on him, but I didn’t comment on it. “What do you want to talk about then, Lili?”

I hadn’t considered it fully. I knew that Matteo had suggested the hot tub for reasons that went beyond talking, but there were things that I’d been thinking about for weeks. Things that needed to be said. I knew what I wanted to say but had no clue how to say it.

“You and Silas were best friends when you were young,” I recalled, sinking a little deeper into the warm water. It came to nearly my chin. “Did you stay close even when you started working together?”

He nodded. “We worked together because we were close. The alliance only worked because of Silas. Alessio ran his territory far differently than my father ran ours, and if it weren’t for our friendship, I don’t think it would have worked. Even after I took over for my father, it only worked because of our friendship.”

“Silas always told me to stay away from you,” I admitted. “He was very serious about it.”

I recalled one of our last arguments. He’d wanted me to stay in my room when Matteo visited, and I’d had enough. I’d been controlled by our father for my entire life, and I didn’t want Silas telling me what I could and couldn’t do. I didn’t know why it made me angry that time when he’d made comments like that for years, but I’d blown up.

It had been our last fight, and we’d long ago forgiven one another for it.

Still, thinking about it now felt like opening a raw wound, even though Silas hadn’t known that I’d gone behind his back and slept with Matteo before leaving.

It hadn’t been entirely intentional, but it had happened.

“He told me the same thing,” Matteo acknowledged.

I sat up straighter. “He told you to stay away from me?”

“I’ve always been attracted to you,” he assured me. “There were a lot of people interested in you, and all of them stayed away because of Silas.”

I chuckled and looked to the sky as if I could see him there, smiling smugly down at me.

“I’ve slept with you twice, and both times were behind my brother’s back,” I admitted. I recalled that drunken night three years ago and the way I had kept it a secret from Silas.

The night flooded back. I’d been a few beers and too many shots deep. Matteo hadn’t seemed intoxicated, but I’d seen him drink at least five shots during the night, and I knew there were more where that had come from. When we’d finally been alone—when he’d dragged me into a hallway closet and buried his face in my neck—I could smell precisely how intoxicated he was.

I didn’t care. I soaked my panties at his touches, pushing the encounter further and faster until we’d both lost all our clothes. Until he’d been buried so deep inside me I couldn’t think straight.

It didn’t matter how much alcohol was involved that night. I would never forget a moment of that claiming. I would never forget the way Matteo had whispered my name in my ear as he thrust into me, clinging to me as if he’d never let go.

I’d only allowed it to go so far because I planned to leave. I finally planned to get out of the mafia life, and sleeping with Matteo would have no consequences when I was going to leave soon anyway. Silas didn’t need to know because it was a one-time thing. It was a goodbye to the crush I’d had during my entire childhood.

I rubbed my face and sighed loudly.

I wished that I’d told Silas the truth.

And now… I couldn’t be honest with him. Silas had been gone the second time I’d slept with Matteo, but it had still been against his wishes.

“I have a lot to figure out about Callum’s and my future, and that’s my main priority. Sleeping with you will affect my decisions, and I don’t want that.” I paused. “Beyond that, I still feel like I’m hiding this from my brother.”

“He’s gone,” Matteo said gently.

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