“Or maybe you found what you loved because of Mason.”
There was a pause in the air as we both contemplated the idea of that statement.
“So, if I ever see Mason again, I should be thanking him, huh?” His voice was soft, reminding me once again about hope.
“I think you became exactly who you were meant to be. And you should be proud of that.”
“So, extremely good-looking and smart?” he teased.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t even say it sarcastically. I meant it too much.
“Thanks, Doc.”
I laughed, my head feeling fuzzier by the minute. “I thought you said you weren’t going to call me that unless I could operate on your leg.”
“I’ve said a lot of things. I can’t be held responsible for all of them.”
“I wonder what I would have been like if my dad had been different,” I said.
“You probably would have been a lot funner in biology.”
A soft laugh escaped me. “If you were closer, I’d kick you for that.”
“Get over here then.”
I bit my lip as his words tempted and toyed with me. Notwithstanding the fact that he would be a much more comfortable place to lay my head than the cold floor, I had a strong suspicion I would have a hard time letting go of Dax if I were to crawl over there now. And there was too much unknown whirling in my mind for me to be another person wreaking havoc on his life when I left.
“You light up whenever you talk about teaching. It’s in your blood. I watch you at the cafe. You like people, and people like you. With or without your dad, I think you’re right where you’re supposed to be.” The words were said with such softness. Achingly so. As if he were preparing us both for something.
“Guess we’re both better off than we thought.”
That statement was going to be my last. I could feel myself slipping, until the tiniest little nugget of information from his brother came flying back into my conscience. It knocked and clanged noisily until I had to get it out. Now. Not tomorrow. There was something about talking in the dark that made a person brave. I’d be too chicken tomorrow.
“Dax?” I asked.
“Hmm?” His voice was heavy with sleep.
“Did I really help you graduate?”
The room fell silent except the sound of a ticking clock somewhere on the wall. He waited so long to speak I thought he had fallen asleep.
“I was about to quit. The counselor told me I had to take biology and an English class to graduate, and I didn’t want to do either one of them. I told Keith I would get my GED later, and that would be good enough. He told me I had to try it out for three weeks to see how it went. I was on my final week, just messing around, until I could tell Keith it didn’t work out. And then Mr. Gray switched my partner.”
A flame dipped low in my belly, sending sparks zipping though my veins.
“And she must have been sweet and smart and a really good influence—“ I began.
“She was the bossiest, most annoying girl I’d ever been around,” he interrupted while I broke off, laughing.
“She made me work, didn’t put up with my crap, and had a smile that lit me up for days. I couldn’t have gotten her out of my head if I tried.”
I covered my face with my hands. It was too much. More than I bargained for. More than I was ready for. But I snatched the words from the air and kept them anyway.
“Dax,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You lit me up too.”
It wasn’t wasted on me that I used past tense when the way I was feeling currently made me yearn to use present, but my heart was still fragile. This awakening in me was still new, and there were still so many unknowns. So, I kept to myself the fact that Dax Miller had done a number on me this summer.
But I had a house and a job and a life in Tennessee.