Page 45 of Toxic Wishes

“Because of this.” She shows Josh her tattoo: a Scorpion with the number 11:11 over it.

“We both had the same birthday, which made us both Scorpios. This, besides our fearless fascination with death, brought us together.”

Her words shoot through me like a shot of toxins running down my esophagus, burning my core, eating away my insides, forcing a wound to open that I had closed for years.

“You can cage the singer but not the song.” — Harry Belafonte

18

Colt

“Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.”-John Erskine

Josh somehow managed to calm Abigail down, and they went back inside. I, on the other hand, told Heidi that I would call her later and that I needed to handle family matters right now. I had no intention of calling her, but she can brag to her friends and let them know that she screwed the quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals. That’s what most women cared about anyway. That and getting knocked up so they could get child support for the rest of their lives. At least women like Heidi, anyway. She was goalless. She had no intention of making anything of herself. She was just going to use her looks as long as she could until she landed a sucker to fall for her secret desperation. Women like Heidi used to be lethal, striking any chance they could with me, but not anymore. Those types of women couldn’t strike me with their bullshit if I was blind and just had a lobotomy.

I know I would have never fucked her if I hadn’t been drunk last night, but Namoi calling me repeatedly drove me to drink. I knew Naomi must have been drinking too because she always blew up my phone when she was under the influence, which made it worse. These days, she only called me to make me feel guilty for never putting a ring on her finger and wasting a year of her life.

I know I agreed to this arrangement because of her father’s death but I thought letting her down gently would be the best way to let her go. Now all she is doing is taking advantage of my kindness. I had to do something to get out of my head and into my body last night. Besides, I decided a long time ago after Bodie’s mom, I’m not going to succumb to women because of guilt and I don’t put up with drama anymore. Life was too short and I’m not going to make the same mistakes my father did. Once was enough.

After kissing Heidi on the cheek, purposefully not on the mouth, I pull away. I try to give her a clue that I’m not interested in taking this to the next level.

“I had a great time last night,” I say as she sits down in the driver's seat.

She flutters her eyes at me, and I never felt so repulsed after sex. It’s as if she couldn’t leave fast enough. Thoughts invade my mind as I wish I could take back last night. I was doing so well staying celibate and staying away from toxic women.

“I know you did.” She cups my balls and bites her bottom lip.

“Ah-okay,” I say, chuckling a little bit. Damn she’s forward.

“Just thinking about your thick cock inside me right now makes me wet.” She hums and starts rubbing her tits and exposing one of her breasts.

“God, I’m so horny, Colt, please. Can you just fuck me one more time, here? Now?” She dips a finger in her pants, and moans as she rubs her clit. And I would be lying if I said my dick didn’t get hard because she was fucking good at her job. She knew how to get a guy interested, and she was pretty to look at. Porn star hot. Bleach blonde hair, huge fake tits. Tanned skin, Blue eyes, manicured, prepped, and primed from head to toe.

She pulls out her middle finger, and it glimmers in the sunlight from her wetness. She slips her finger in her mouth, slowly sucking her juices off.

This would have worked on the younger me. I would say screw it, and crawl in that car and fuck her until she was screaming my name, but after, she would tell me that we should go inside so we don’t get seen and I would listen, and then before I know it, she’s at my place for a whole week thinking we are dating and out of fear of being a cold bastard like my dad, I would let her believe that we are.

“Sweetheart, You're killing me.”

“Please, Colt. You know you want to cum on these. We never got to finish the titty fucking session we had last night.” She exposes her breasts and starts massaging them with her hot pink painted manicured fingernails out in the daylight. Out in my driveway.

“Okay. Let's put those away, shall we?” I bring my hands up in an attempt to cover her, looking around to make sure no neighbors could see. This was considered more of a family community, so having her bare tits out in broad daylight was the last thing I needed in the tabloids.

“You told me how much you liked them last night. Said they were the best-looking tits you’ve ever seen.”

Jesus, help me. I needed to stop lying. Again, this is why celibacy was a good idea for me.

“And they are. That’s why I’ll call you later, Okay? I need to get back inside and talk to my brother about inviting people over here, unannounced, all the time.”

She pouts her lips. “Aw, okay. You promise to call me?”

Fuck I hated being that guy. Should I lie? Just lie, it’s so much easier. If I don't she may never leave.

“Yes. I have a lot on my plate right now, but I'll give you a call later. Okay?”

I had no other way to put it without sounding too much like a dick.

Please just go. Drive. All I want to do is go back inside and talk to Abigail. And ask questions about Blake and how they knew each other.

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