Page 35 of Toxic Wishes

15

Abigail

“I’ve always said music should make you laugh, make you cry or make you think.”-Kenny Rogers

“Oh my God! How freaking cute is this?” Jenna holds up a onesie with the words, Daddy's football buddy. Then she holds up another one that says, Future Football star.

“If he has Troy’s genes, he definitely will be our next football star, right?” She says more like an announcement than a statement as she smiles, staring back at all the girls watching her as she opens gifts.

Jenna was marrying an NFL player, which didn’t shock me. She was tall and athletic growing up, so marrying someone of that caliber makes sense. But what surprised me was that she was the first of us to get married. I thought it would be Naomi, since she had a checklist and has always been such a girly-girl. I was certain getting married by twenty-six would be number one on her checklist of a perfect life.

“This one is from Brielle,” Natasha says as she hands Jenna another gift.

There were so many people here. I was hoping she would be exhausted by the time she got to my gift and tell everyone she’d open the rest later. I didn’t know what to get her, so I opted for a Visa gift card she could use for whatever she wanted. And if I was being honest, I was too pissed to look at the baby registry she sent me through text. I barely heard from my cousins these past four years, and after they all ignored my phone calls and texts the few weeks before my graduation, asking if they were coming, I couldn’t bring myself to get excited for her. Ya, I know I sounded bitter, but I didn’t care.

I almost skipped out on coming to this overly hyped-up event at all, but I knew I would never hear the end of it from my Aunt and mom, particularly my mom since she kisses my aunt’s ass.. I came here mainly because I had nothing better to do, and I wanted to avoid being alone with my parents at the house. I needed to find a job soon that would work around my schedule when I returned to medical school in the fall.

I look up and see Jenna's friends taking pictures of her as she holds up another gift.

“You are going to be the most beautiful bride, Jenna. You are so gorgeous.” Some girls says.

“This baby is going to be beautiful.”

“Troy hit the jackpot with you, beautiful bride and beautiful babies coming up!”

I look over and see a girl jumping up and down as if she’s the one getting married and having a kid. Shaking my head, I pull my earbud case out of my purse and start listening to some music as I pretend to be involved in this exhausting, prissy girl crap.

It’s like my mom’s ears were burning because, right when I feel a small smile form on my face from the music soothing my soul, my mom walks through the front door, wiping it away. She struts down the hallway to the kitchen, my sister following behind her as she carries her baby girl. I was excited to see my niece, whom I hadn't seen since she was born. Now that she’s older, she’s crawling and starting to be more active, according to my mom, who I had to listen to ramble on for two hours last night when I got home. I wasn’t even there for twenty-four hours, and I was already miserable.

No, welcome back, or we are proud of you, honey.

Not even a “way to go,” with a pat on the back.

My mom acted like me returning home was seen as a failure since I didn’t stay away long enough. Regardless if I graduated college or not

My parents' relationship was on the rocks, but now it’s moved into the ocean, crashing up against the shores repeatedly. In the short time I’ve been there, I’ve realized my dad completely ignores my mom. It’s why Mom is so desperate for anyone to listen to her. Just by being in their presence, I can sense how miserable they are together. It was obvious my mom was only staying around for the money. Just like all the women in my family have been taught. I look over at Jenna, who’s glowing, not because she was pregnant, but because she got knocked up by an NFL player who agreed to marry her to give the baby a last name after my aunt Martha guilt-tripped the fuck out of him. Troy never had a chance.

“No, they can start eating at six months,” my sister says as I take my AirPods out of my ears and put them back in the case.

“Ya, but only soft foods. No chips.” My mom says.

“She has teeth.” My sister says, holding a potato chip to my niece's mouth. Little Aria grabs it and giggles, placing the whole thing in her mouth. I laugh as I watch her suck on it like it’s a piece of candy before chewing it, slowly savoring the new taste in her mouth.

“Hey there, cutie,” I say as I walk into the kitchen, smiling at that round face and gummy baby smile.

“Well, hey there, college graduate,” my sister says, holding out an arm to give me a side hug as she holds little Ava in her arms. She wanted to keep the A-name tradition going since her name was Adalee, and mine was Abigail, so she named her daughter Aria. I thought it was perfect.

“Same. It will feel different once I’m out of medical school, helping people, while I make money and pay bills, whoohoo.” I say in a monotone voice as I pop a grape in my mouth.

“Well, I think it’s pretty cool how you're standing on your own two feet and becoming an independent woman. A first for any of the women in this family,” she says, eyeing my mom.

Warmth spreads across my chest down to my core. My sister has been the only one who’s ever had my back when it comes to anything I put my mind to. If I did pursue a music career, she would be the only one to support me. I’m willing to put in the work, but I’m not dumb. My chances of making it in that cutthroat industry are slim to none. Especially since I’m not movie star-worthy when it comes to my looks. So I opted for practical, even though a part of me regrets not pursuing the music world.

“Thanks,” I tell Adalee with a coyish smile.

“Getting married and having kids is overrated,” she whispers into my ears.

“Hey, nothing wrong with having security.” My mom says. “Remember what I told you girls growing up? Women want security, and men want respect.”

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