Page 12 of Toxic Wishes

“Whoa, whoa, easy there tiger. I was just messing with you guys. Besides, I came up here to check on you and see if you wanted to join us for a round of beer ping-pong.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Blake seethes.

“Okay.” Duke turns around and is about to walk off but stops dead in his tracks before looking over his shoulder. His focus went straight to Blake.

“Dude, I know you’re going through things,” he turns his torso all the way around, looking between Blake and me. “But did you see those chicks down there? Your head has been all messed up after rehab, but I know your eyes aren’t. Those chicks are smoking hot down there.” Duke's voice goes up an octave.

I never felt so out of place in my life. Blake and all his friends were extremely good looking. I had no business coming to this party to hang out with them. I’m sure they all look at me as one of the dudes. A flicker of hope lived inside me that maybe that wasn’t the case with Blake and I, but I’m confident it is now.

“How about we do a line, get your head back in the game, and mingle?”

“Are you crazy? He almost died a few weeks ago.” I snap, interfering in their brainless conversation.

Duke points his attention at me. “Abs, I know you are on the crew with the band now, but I’ve known Blake for a long time. I know what he needs.”

I glare at Duke and then at Blake.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” Blake says. His jaw clenches as he stares at his friend.

Duke holds his hands up in the air as if he’s surrendering. “Alright, alright. Take your time.”

Duke leaves Blake's bedroom, door wide open. I look over at Blake, and his hands are clenched at his sides, as if he’s fighting a devil inside him at this very moment.

“We better get back down there,” he says, not taking his eyes off the door. He looks so stiff that if I touch him, he may topple over.

After a few moments, he walks away, but I grab his arm.

“Promise me, Blake. Promise me, you aren’t going to do coke or any other drug.” My eyes plead with him, and I’m shocked at the courage I’ve mustered to sound firm and fierce because inside, I felt nothing but fear right now.

He slowly cranes his neck to face me, and his eyes appear molten momentarily. I would be lying if I said he wasn’t scaring me with those dark blue eyes.

“You’re not my mom or dad, Abs.”

The way he says my name is harsh and cold. So cold a shiver runs through me, and my heart breaks a little at his words. “I’m not trying to sound like one, but I know how easy it is to relapse, and-.”

“I got it, you’re concerned. Don’t be. Just worry about yourself.” He averted his gaze and started walking towards the door until he was out of view. Taking the tiny piece of my heart, he broke off with him.

When we returned downstairs, he kept his distance from me, even though I felt his eyes on me all night.

The weekend was excruciating. It’s Monday now, and I’m back in this dungeon. High school was becoming bearable with Bkake, but I haven’t spoken to him since the party at his house. Blake didn’t come outside to meet me at our usual spot today for lunch. I keep replaying the look on his face in his bedroom. I wasn’t sure if he was frustrated with me or Duke. It was a confusing moment that was more significant than I ever deemed possible.

Once home, I tried to focus on my music to distract my mind.

“Hey, what’s going on with you and Blake?” My sister says as she walks into the living room with a healthy snack. Peanut butter and celery have been her go-to these days.

“What do you mean?” I ask without looking up. I continue to tighten my strings even though I’ve already tuned them perfectly.

She dips a celery stick into the peanut butter and takes a bite. I can hear her mouth chomp as she chews on the stick. Her loud chomping noises ring through my ears. I look up and purse my lips together. One of my pet peeves is hearing people chew, but I try to drown it out as I test my strings with my violin bow.

“So you're going to ignore me?”

I let out a deep sigh. “Nothing, we are just friends.”

“Well, the mood sure did change once you two returned from wherever you sneaked off to.”

“We didn’t sneak off. He was just showing me his room and some old records he got from his parents. He even had an old record player. An original record player.” Excitement fills my tone.

“You’re so weird.” She takes another bite of her celery. “Mom told me you met him at the hospital, and you guys meet up like two nights a week. Are you two, like, hooking up?.”

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