Page 116 of Toxic Wishes

“Enjoy it while it lasts, babe. Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Don’t get your hopes up.

The problem was, I think they had already been lifted into the sky when I wasn’t paying attention.

The following Wednesday, I had my summer class. And in between today and last week, after Colt fucked me against the kitchen counter, he somehow paid off my car. I was furious when I opened my car loan to see a zero balance. I didn’t talk to Colt all day that day. I couldn’t believe he did that without even telling me. Ten thousand may not be a lot to him, but it was a massive deal to me, and I’ll never be able to repay him that money back. Thoughts of moving out and finding my place consumed me, but not for long. I woke up to his mouth trailing down my body at two o’clock this morning, ending between my legs and remaining there until I came twice. And then we didn’t get back to sleep until four. The man is in fantastic shape. Better than some twenty-one-year-olds, and I’m so tired today, but in the best way possible. Every inch of my body is being used, and it’s hard to concentrate on anything except the need to be with him when I’m not.

I don’t want to fall for him.

I mean, I do, but only once I know what this is. Mel is most likely correct, and this is just a fling. When I got home from class today, no one was there. I’m somewhat grateful since I have so much homework to get caught up on. Finals will be coming soon, and I have been working and picking up shifts to make as much money as possible before the fall semester starts.

My feet are up in the air as I bite on my pencil. I already chewed four pieces of gum, so turning to my pencil would have to suffice as I tried to figure out how to solve this question from biochemistry. Bon Jovi is playing in the background of the tiny apartment when my phone buzzes.

you still mad at me?

I shake my head. I can’t hold back as a smile forms across my face.

Maybe. I still can’t believe you paid off my car without first asking me. I can’t repay you.

Sure you can. I have plenty of ways you can pay me back—winky face. We can start as soon as I get back home.

So this morning didn’t count?

That was the interest you owed me.

I laugh lightly to myself.

Where are you?

Bodie’s Pee Wee football camp. I got held up since they wanted me to help out today and be on the field, which meant I got a lot of recognition from moms, which, in turn, became one big signing fest for their kids, their husbands, and grandchildren. Heck, even their kids, kids.

I laughed out loud on that one.

Oh, the struggles of being a wanted NFL player.

I only want one girl wanting me.

Warmth spread across my body. He says things like this, making me think he thought of this as something more. That’s what I wanted to believe anyway.

After almost two hours of studying and knocking out homework, I decided to take a break. It was nearly six, and the only night I had off. I wish I were doing something more fun than homework, but I told myself it would pay off. I talked to Josh earlier, and he’s been living it up this summer, which made me happy for him, but I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of his carefree life.

Ever since I moved into this apartment, I haven’t seen him as much, which was due to our schedules. If Colt weren’t living here, I wouldn’t see him either. Between work and school this summer, I’ve kept pretty busy. And Colt doing me any chance we got wasn’t exactly freeing up any extra time for friends. I open my app and turn on “Hurt So Good” on my phone. I decided a nice bubble bath would help me relax, and maybe Colt and Bodie wanted to eat somewhere when they got home. So, I was saving my appetite for dinner. It was the first time I looked forward to eating. For years, I felt like eating was a job or only for my health to stay alive, but now, I think of it as spending time with loved ones.

Love.

I know I couldn’t love Colt, but I liked him. A lot, which makes no sense since I used to hate the sound of his name before I got to know him. I start to undress when I hear a knock on the door. I poke my head out of the bathroom and see Colt opening the door, shutting it behind him, and locking it.

“Thanks for knocking, at least,” I tell him, but he just takes me in. I’m wearing a bra and panties. His eyes turn molten like he’s ready to attack.

“My place, my rules.”

“Oh, is that right?”

He nods his head as he slowly walks over to me.

“If I'm too much trouble, I can get out of your hair. Naomi called me a few days ago and talked about getting a place together.”

He stops in his tracks, raising an eyebrow at me.

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