Page 111 of Toxic Wishes

“Who’s she talking about, Dad?”

Bodie didn’t know about Blake, and I wanted to keep it that way as long as possible.

I didn't want him to get influenced by music and all that rock n’ roll, smoking weed bullshit. I have nothing against anyone who loves music, but I’m also convinced the glam of being a rock star killed my brother. So, I didn’t want to put any ideas in Bodie’s head. Football is what he would live and breathe like me growing up—football breeds discipline.

And I know being a pro football player isn’t for everyone, but it’s the only thing that kept me alive and my headstrong when I felt like the world around me was falling apart. Football instills discipline in you, mental strength, and the importance of teamwork. Music was all about teaching you how to feel and be in your feelings and to live by them. It’s why I rarely listened to music, and it’s why I didn’t want my son's head filled with any ideas about taking the lifestyle of a musician seriously.

“Uh, someone we both knew.” I finally say.

My mom stops chewing mid-sentence, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She had no idea Abigail knew Blake. But she does now.

“Really? Was he like a famous rockstar or something? I heard Abigail sing because I asked her to, and she sounded like a pop star, like the one all the girls in my class talked about. What’s her name?” he looks up at the ceiling and thinks. “Charlie? No Taylor?” He scratches his chin, and I can’t help but smile.

“How about you finish your breakfast, and we’ll talk about that another time? We got pee-wee football camp in an hour, so I don’t want you playing on a full stomach.”

“Okay,” he says with a discouraged tone as he looks down at his food.

“After practice, we can go to that trampoline park, and you can bounce around.”

“Yeah, okay.” He says as he moves his food around his plate.

What the heck just happened? Did I miss something?

“I thought you loved that place?”

“Yeah,” he says, still looking down at his plate.

“Bodie,” my mom places a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at her. “What do you want to do after football camp?”

I stare at my mom, fighting back the urge to roll my eyes. She babied my son way too much, and I know she was making up for the times she couldn’t baby me because she was working, but still, couldn’t she tone it down a bit?

Bodie slowly shifts his gaze to meet mine before tearing it away to look back at Mom.

“You want to go get some ice cream?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I wanted to go to the music store. I wouldn’t mind learning how to play the guitar. Abigail said she would show me the basics since the violin and guitar were similar.”

My mom looks at me, and I purse my lips together, and she better not say what I think she’s about to say.

“Sure Bodie Bear, That sounds like a great idea. We can look around and see what we can find. Why not?” she throws her hands in the air.

“Really? Oh, thank you, Grammy, thank you!” He jumps off his seat, hugging her, and she hugs him back.

“Oh, you are welcome, suga.”

“I’m going to go get ready, Dad, and look at some cool guitars on my iPad to see which ones I like.”

I smile as I reach over, stealing a piece of bacon off his plate.

“Sounds great, bud.” I chewed slowly as my frustration moved inside my stomach like a tornado.

“Oh, my goodness, I can’t wait to tell Abigail.” He says as he climbs the stairs.

My mom turns back to face me on the high chair across the island as I glare at her.

“What? Don’t you start with me, young man? You can’t deprive your children of things they are interested in.”

“I’m not. I’m protecting my child from interests that could lead him down wrong paths. There's a difference.”

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