Page 76 of Toxic Wishes

He sets me down once we reach the top like I was as light as a feather. I thank him again.

“No problem,” He says

He leans close to me as I situate my dress and flatten it down. I feel his warm breath hit my ear.

“Told you I’m a much better ride than Josh.” He pulls back, and I catch a glimpse of those sky-blue eyes. He winks and flashes me that fucking sexy smile, then walks up the hill towards the crowd.

Holy shit. I could get used to his presence. And a part of me wished I never agreed to live in his apartment, and a part of me is so glad I did

Just breathe, Abigail—breathe.

I followed behind him and prayed I wouldn't suffocate tonight.

26

Colt

“Music could ache and hurt, that beautiful music was a place a suffering man could hide.” — Pat Conroy

What the fuck was that. Why did I pick Abigail up like that?

To be a gentleman.

That's it. That’s all it was. To be a straight-up gentleman. Any guy would have done that, right? She smelled so good. Like sugar and cypress, all mixed in one big ice cream cone. It was so sweet, and her body felt like pure heaven like I was carrying a fallen angel. Is that why Blake called his band Fallen Angels? Because of her?

Was I going crazy with so many unanswered questions about him and her? Or was I just going crazy with unanswered questions about Abigail?

And why did I bring up Naomi? I’m not even thinking about her. I haven’t been thinking about her. But I know she would have gotten jealous if she saw me with Abigail in my arms. She would get jealous if I looked at a girl too long, so I wouldn’t put it past her getting mad at me for doing something as simple as carrying her cousin up the hill. She always thought I was doing something behind her back when I never had, unlike many of my friends in the football industry. I respected women.

I saw what my mom did for me. The fact that she raised me all on her own, on top of putting herself through nursing school, was something I would never forget and always be thankful for. And I saw baby pictures. I wasn’t a tiny baby, and hearing Troy talk about Jenna and her pregnancy, I know my mom suffered a great deal bringing me into this world. So, I had the utmost respect for my mom and women.

When I walked into the ceremony, people were already seated. I looked for Josh, but Namoi spotted me right away, not even giving me much of a chance to avoid her. Getting up from her seat, she starts to approach me.

“Hey, there are some open seats by me. Josh went to the restroom but said he would be right back. He said you brought Abigail, which I thought was funny because Josh said he was Abigail’s date?” Her voice rises a smidge at the end of her question, meaning it’s more of an accusation than a question.

“Uh, ya, Long story. But Josh asked me to help his friend out.”

“Ya, he told me. I didn’t even know Josh and Abigail knew each other. But how did you end up at your lake house while Abigail stayed there?”

I see the wheels turning in her head. Her nose is slightly scrunched up, and her voice is somewhat higher than usual. Calm down, Naomi. We are not together anymore. I can let whoever I want stay at the lakehouse.

“The pipes in my kitchen busted while Bodie and I were away at DisneyWorld. Since we were gone for a week, it flooded my whole kitchen and part of the living room. So now, I’m forced to leave my home near the city while my whole kitchen is redone.”

Relief and satisfaction spread across her face. “Oh, I’m so sorry. You know you could have stayed with me. You’re always welcome.” She brushes my arm lightly, looking up at me with those blue eyes that used to make me give in, until things shifted between us. My attraction to her changed when I realized I only liked her because she had blonde hair and big boobs. Once we stopped fucking all the time, and the heat fizzled out, so did my feelings for her. Real quick. Slowly, over time, layer by layer, her true self started peeling off, and in the beginning, she claimed to know nothing about football or how much pro football players got paid. But throughout our relationship, she would make little comments that made me think otherwise. Then, when she failed the test I always gave every girl, I knew it was only a matter of time before it ended.

“Thanks, Naomi, but I doubt you would want Bodie and I invading your space.” I had to remind her about Bodie since she tended to forget I had a son with another woman. I know she wanted to ignore that fact about me. It was so obvious, even now, when we weren’t together.

I looked up at the stage and saw Abigail sitting next to Josh. They were laughing about something. A streak of heat spreads through me, and mental images of them getting close makes me angry. Get it together. You don’t get jealous of women. It’s the other way around.

“We better sit down, the ceremony starts in five minutes,” I told Namoi. I didn’t even want to come, but I couldn’t miss Troy’s wedding. And I know dating Namoi was all out of pure convenience since she was always around when I came home for the season since Jenna and Troy were already serious by that point.

And ya, I know the sliver of hope she keeps alive between us is partly my fault. But when you are from a small town where either the women here had kids, an agenda, or too much baggage for me to want to carry on my shoulders, it was easy to go back to what’s familiar. Naomi was easy to be with until she wasn’t. But I was a man. I still had needs. But even this, sitting next to her, will give her the wrong idea. I could feel my body stiffen at the thought. I know being at weddings made women's brains think crazy shit. I’ve been to plenty of weddings to know women tend to get the case of the y’s. Horny, lonely, or a combo of both which equals vulnerable.

I brush past Abigail and sit next to Josh since there are two empty chairs. Namoi joins me.

“Isn’t this wedding beautiful?” She says, placing a hand on mine. I look down, and my eyes fixate on her hand over mine.

Fuck, she’s already trying to claim me.

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