Page 52 of Commit

“Careful, Birdie, you wouldn’t want anyone to notice us, would you?”

I bite down on my lip as another finger joins the first, and he starts thrusting them in and out of me. Gripping the handle for dear life, I keep my eyes focused forward, hoping not to give anything away. Mortification presses against me, warring with the burning need Hudson evokes inside me.

I hear the sound of his zipper lowering before the thundering in my ears drowns out everything else. He kicks my legs apart a little more, making me panic. I can barely reach the handle as it is.

He lifts me a bit with the arm around my waist before I feel him bend his legs and position himself at my entrance. I shake my head, but he ignores my silent protests and surges inside me. My feet leave the floor with the force, his arm around me the only thing stopping me from slamming into the person in front of me. His control of me is complete, as he uses me as a cock sleeve to prove his point.

I feel a tear slip free despite my best effort to hold it back. My arms tremble with exhaustion from holding myself up as he fucks me brutally. I’m not sure he cares anymore if anyone sees us.

And God, what would they think if they turned around now and saw a young woman with tears running down her face as she’s fucked savagely from behind by a man twice her age? Would they see my fear and help me? Or would they sense my conflict, mistake my red cheeks for arousal instead of embarrassment, and hear the sound of my slick pussy taking his cock as consent? Would they turn away in disgust if they thought I wanted this, or would they roll their eyes and edge away, leaving me to his devices? Maybe there would be a few who watched, aroused by the carnal taboo. If I’m on display, they have the right to look, don’t they? Does that mean they can touch me, too? Would that result in an orgy?

My dark thoughts rush through my head, my need to come matched only by my need to scream at the top of my lungs.

“That’s it, Birdie. I can feel you strangling my cock like a good girl. You want to come, don’t you? You want to coat my cock and show all these motherfuckers who you belong to?”

“No, I don’t. Please, Hudson,” I choke out in a whisper, even though a voice in the back of my head calls me a liar.

“Naughty girl. You should know better than to lie to me.”

He picks up his pace, my whole-body aching under his attack. His teeth latch onto the skin of my neck a moment before I feel him throb inside me and fill me with his cum. He reaches up and pulls my hands free from the handle, easing my weight down until his cock is so far up inside me that I feel my stomach cramp.

“One day, I’m going to fill you and plug you up afterward. And I’ll keep doing it until you’re carrying my baby,” he growls as he reaches around and pinches my clit hard.

He’s not thrusting anymore, but he doesn’t need to. The feel of his thick cock stretching me in ways I’ve never been before, combined with the bit of pain, is enough to push me over the edge.

I bite down on my lip, drawing blood, but I hold back my screams as I come so hard I black out.

When I come back to myself, I’m standing back on my feet, Hudson keeping me steady with an arm around my chest as he leans me back into him.

As the train slows down, the guy in front of me turns around, his eyes moving over me, then shifting to Hudson before looking away. If he had turned only moments earlier, he would have seen me getting railed by my best friend’s dad. Now, Hudson looks like he could be my dad, holding on to me so I don’t fall over in the rush.

I almost want to laugh, but I’m scared it would come out more like a sob.

“His dick is rock-hard right now. You have no fucking clue how much he wishes he was me.”

I fold my arms over my chest and look away from the guy shoving his way to the exit, letting me know he heard Hudson and could sense the simmering anger in his voice. There’s no missing the air of I will fuck you up and do it smiling vibe Hudson is throwing out.

The smartest thing he did was run. I only wish I could have run too.

When the train comes to a stop, I turn around and look up at Hudson. I let him see how much I loathe him and how much he made me loathe myself. And if he thought he was making any headway with me, he was out of his fucking mind.

He swipes his thumb across my cheek, stealing another tear for his collection. “No more trains. I’ll pick you up on the days Abbot has football, and if I can’t, I’ll arrange for a driver to come get you.”

I don’t say anything. It doesn’t matter if I agree or not. He’ll pick me up, and if I’m not there, he’ll punish me. If this little stunt is anything to go by, I am seriously unqualified to go head-to-head with him.

“Come on, let’s go.” He urges me to turn around, and then, with his hands on my hips, he guides me through the crowd to the door.

We step out onto the platform, and he moves beside me, taking my hand and leading as usual. We move through the sea of people, and I wonder if anyone here even sees me. If I showed up tomorrow on the missing persons poster, would anyone here remember that they saw the girl with a sad face and haunted eyes being dragged through the station?

I close my eyes for a second, feeling something similar to grief gnawing inside me. I spent most of my time at school wishing I was invisible, but it’s true what they say about the grass not being greener on the other side.

After finally stepping outside, I’m surprised when Hudson leads me into a nearby coffee shop. He picks a booth in the corner and waits for me to sit before walking over to the counter.

I lean back and stare out the window, the beautiful day at odds with the violent storm raging inside me. I try to squeeze everything I’m feeling into a tiny ball, but it fights me every step of the way. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to contain the dark ugliness inside me.

I jump when Hudson places a mug of hot chocolate in front of me, followed by a blueberry muffin. Staring at the muffin, I get the strangest urge to cry again.

I look up at Hudson as he slides into the seat across from me, trying to figure him out. One second, he’s buying me a new wardrobe, a birthday cake and Chinese food. And the next, he’s blackmailing me, using my body as his own personal playground. And then he’s back to being sweet and caring again. He knows every time he touches me, there’s a chance Abbot will find out. Abbot’s the last person I have. If this comes out, and it will—it always does—I’ll lose him. Hudson has no idea. Or he does and just doesn’t care. But if I lose Abbot, I lose me. He’s the only reason I’ve been holding on. If I manage to break free from Hudson’s hold after he’s left his mark on me and I find myself alone, I might as well give up.

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