Page 42 of Pucks and Likes

“Because he loves you,” Clara says softly from beside me. “I applaud him for his reasonings behind forgiving you.”

Austen nods. “For sure. You didn’t deceive him on purpose. It all got out of hand, time got away from you, but you told him as soon as you two were face-to-face.”

“I still waited six months. I should have told him sooner,” I say, hating that he forgave me so easily. I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I don’t. Which I know is my anxiety being a cunt to me right now, but it’s hard when I know I should have done better by Alex.

“Then accept his offer.”

My gaze snaps to Louisa, her eyes trained on me and a small smile playing on her lips. “We can see the guilt in your eyes, El. Give him three months, let him prove what he claims, but make a deal that if it doesn’t work out, you two agree to raise Baby Bit together as a team.”

“But you need to let him in,” Eliza says, setting me with a look. “After these last six months, we all can see you’ll close yourself off to anyone. Even us.”

“That’s not her fault, though,” Clara pipes up, leaning into me. “She went off her meds, so I’m sure she is riddled with anxiety, and her brain is probably lying left and right.”

My throat tightens at Clara’s wholehearted defense. She has always been my best friend and the one I feel the most regret about hiding my pregnancy from. I squeeze her hand, and she beams at me.

“Are you still going to therapy?” Austen asks, and I exhale.

“Yes, I am. And wow, y’all are being a lot right now,” I say, rubbing my temples.

When two hands grip my wrists, I look up to see Louisa’s eyes on me. “What happened?”

I bring in my brows. “What?”

“What happened before you left?” she demands, her eyes searching mine.

I know exactly what she is asking, but there is no way in hell I’m telling her.

“I get the feeling something happened, and I need to know.”

I’m unable to speak, fear of hurting my eldest sister suffocating me beyond belief. It’s Clara who saves me.

“It doesn’t matter. We aren’t there anymore. We’ve escaped and are all living. We don’t need to bring that up.”

“She’s right,” Eliza says, pulling Louisa back. My sister drops her hands from mine but doesn’t stop staring into my eyes. “Whatever they did or said was a lie, Elliot. They don’t own you. They don’t have anything on you. You are free.”

“I know,” I whisper, and I hate that my eyes fill with tears. I’m an emotional basket case. “See, this is why I don’t want to do what he wants,” I say, wiping away the tears that fall. “I’m too emotional.”

Clara wraps an arm around my waist, her hand coming to rest on my stomach. “Good, because you gotta feel to fall in love.”

Eliza smiles. “I vote for you to try.”

I lean into my sister, wiping my face. “So my baby has a dad?”

Her smile falls. “No, so my sister is loved deeply by a good man.”

“As much as we love that baby, we have loved you longer, and we want what is best for you,” Austen says softly, reaching out to hold my hand. “You deserve the world, and if Alex wants to give it to you, then he has my vote.”

“I didn’t know this was ending in a vote,” I say, the emotion too much, the feelings overwhelming as the tears continue to flow freely down my face. “I just don’t want to get hurt or hurt him.”

“Then trust him,” Louisa suggests, tears flooding her eyes now. “I wouldn’t vote for just anyone when it comes to you four. I got very lucky with Dimitri and Coleson, and I trust that Alex is the man for you.”

I want to fight her on that, but she has been living with him for the last six months. Clara leans in, kissing my temple. “Like we said, no matter what, we got you.”

I don’t doubt what my sisters are saying. I know they’ve got me, and I trust them with all my heart.

I just don’t know if I trust myself.

CHAPTER 18

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