I move my gaze to her center, cleaning away the aftermath of our lovemaking, and when I speak, much to my surprise, my voice is even but low. “When are you due?”
She swallows, dropping her hands but still not meeting my gaze. “July fourteenth.”
“When is your next doctor’s appointment?”
“Not till next week, the ninth.” Her eyes move to mine.
“Have you picked out names?”
She shakes her head. “Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I was waiting for you,” she whispers, and it’s her confessions that ease my anger and my sense of betrayal. She never wanted to do this without me; she just struggled with telling me. I’ve never seen this girl scared of anything, but having a baby is life-altering. I just need her to realize that I can be with her through this. Her eyes cut to mine out of nowhere before she asks, “You’re just going to drop a bomb and then clean me up and ask questions like you’re asking me what I like on my ice cream sundae?”
I shrug as I fight back a grin. “Is that a problem?”
She sits up on her elbows, her face still flushed, her lips swollen, and looking all kinds of sated. Pride fills me, knowing I did that to her. Knowing that no other man has touched what is mine since she pushed me away. No one can love Elliot like I can. Her body and her heart were made for me. “Yes. We need to discuss this. I am not yours.”
I laugh at that as I throw the towel into what I hope is a laundry basket and not a trash bin. “I disagree.”
“Alex!”
“Elliot,” I say, cutting my gaze back to hers.
“I am not someone to be owned.”
“By someone who has no right, sure. But I am yours, just as you are mine.”
She blinks, stunned, before she gawks at me. “No! I am my own person?—”
“Who is mine,” I say, cutting her off. “Mine to protect, mine to provide for, mine to make laugh, mine to exist with, and mine to fucking love.”
Tears gather in her eyes as I drop next to her, lying on my side to look at her profile. When a tear rolls down her cheek, I wipe it away before taking her by her hip and rolling her to her side so she can mirror the way I’m lying. More tears roll down, falling off her nose, and I wipe them away before she whispers, “You can’t love me, Alex.”
I scoff, moving my thumb to catch more tears. “But I do.” She squeezes her eyes shut, and I cup her jaw, stroking her bottom lip. “And I know you feel things for me too, mi sol. It wasn’t just sex, and you know it.”
“It was,” she says softly. “I don’t want to be in a relationship.”
“So you’ve said, but we were together for three months before you pushed me away. I thought of you every day, wanted you, and now that I have you, I’m not letting you go.”
“I lied to you,” she reminds me, her eyes burning into mine. “For six months, I hid this baby from you. Why would you want to be with someone like that?”
“I understand why you did it, Elliot,” I answer hoarsely. “Am I upset about it? Sure. But I forgive you.”
“How?” Her voice is so small, her eyes so sad, and it guts me. “I’ve hurt you.”
“You have,” I agree, pulling her lip down a bit. “But you were honest with me the first time, told me you didn’t want a relationship. And yeah, I should have probably kept my feelings in check, but you’re easy to fall for.” I say it to make her smile, but she doesn’t. I can see the mental war in her eyes, and I wish I could put on some armor and battle for her. “And the second time, I get that you were scared, and I suspect that you probably went to tell me a few different times, but you hesitated. Then time kept moving, and you just didn’t know how to tell me when a day turned to months. I get it. I do.”
“I dialed your number so many times, but something always stopped me. I didn’t want to distract you.”
“I know,” I say softly. “I know because you never told your sisters. If you were trying to hide it from just me, you would have told them.”
“I wanted to tell you first.”
My heart flutters, and I believe her.
“But we can’t be more than just parents to this baby.” Her words sting but don’t do damage because I was ready for them. “I will always feel like you want to be with me because of the baby, and that’s it.”