Page 84 of Broken Instrument

“Nightmare.”

My expression falls. “Hads…”

“Tell me something good, will you? Distract me? How was the show last night?”

I want to dig deeper. To shake her and beg her to tell me how I can make her feel better, but I bite my tongue and snake my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into my chest so I can breathe her in.

When her body melts into mine, I answer, “The show was good.”

“Tell me more,” she pleads, her smile pathetic at best as she urges me on.

“Hawthorne was able to help me find a couple cool guys for the band. Ones without any drug habits,” I clarify.

“Yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah. They’re really good.”

A genuine smile stretches across her face. “That’s great, Fen. Really. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” I stand up and bring her with me, keeping my arms snaked around her waist until her bare feet are on the ground. Then, I sway us back and forth, and she sighs, nuzzling into me. Like I’m her lifeline. The same way she’s mine.

“Did you hear back from your editor?” I ask.

Her laugh is pathetic at best. She leans her forehead against my shoulder and sighs. “Yeah. Apparently, a murdered brother is a pretty good excuse for missing a deadline.”

Shit.

I cringe but squeeze her a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Hads.”

“Don’t be. It’s the truth. But yeah. They told me to take as long as I need. The problem is, my savings is all dried up, and my lease is coming up, and after helping my parents with the funeral costs, I have no idea how to afford––”

“What if you move in with me? Permanently.”

She wipes under her bloodshot eyes and pulls away from me. Not enough to get out of my grasp but leaving us enough room so she can look at me. Really look at me.

“Fen…”

“I’m serious, Hads. Move in with me. Officially,” I clarify with a smirk. It’s no secret we’ve practically been living together for weeks, anyway.

She licks her lips, her gaze dropping to the ground. “I didn’t tell you about my money issues to make you feel guilty––”

“I don’t feel guilty.” I lift her chin and force her to look at me. “Despite the shitty circumstances, I like having you here. I love having you here. I like taking care of you. I like spending time with you. And yeah, Hawthorne’s chomping at the bit to get me back on tour, but you should move in with me.”

“Here?”

I nod and drop a kiss to her forehead. “Yeah, babe. I love you.”

With a watery smile, she wipes beneath her eyes again, trying to clean herself up when she has no idea how perfect she looks right now. Real. Raw. And a little broken like me.

“How can you love me?” she says through the same watery smile. But I can see the joy in her eyes, the need to believe me as she adds, “I’m a mess.”

“You’re a beautiful mess, babe. And an amazing person. Besides, you have a good reason.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she chokes out, shoving down the memory of her brother the same way she has since the day after his funeral. I don’t blame her. It sucks. And mourning is exhausting. She needs a distraction.

I squeeze her against me again and kiss the crown of her head. “You’re my beautiful mess, Hads.”

“Gee,” she laughs. “Thanks.”

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