Page 43 of Fifty-Fifty

“Whose jacket is that?” I ask.

“Jay’s.” Her voice is so soft, so quiet. She can feel my indecision even if I haven’t expressed it to her.

I nod before giving her my back and grabbing the door handle.

As I step over the threshold, I hear her whisper, “You didn’t answer my question.”

Gently, I close the door behind me.

You’re right, Beau. I didn’t. Because I don’t know the answer.

* * *

Later that night, I go to dinner with my friends, leaving Beau and Mac on their own without an explanation. We go to the local bar for drinks and burgers where they catch me up on everything back home. After a few hours of shooting the shit, we head back to the inn.

The guys have had a few too many drinks and are stumbling down the hall, shocking the shit out of me that we don’t wake up Mac with their excessive noise.

Ricky slams the door, reminding me of earlier today when he still had some self-control. Seems the alcohol soaked up the last of it.

He’s pissed that Slater isn’t holding a grudge on my disappearance and has practically welcomed me with open arms tonight while discussing a few potential sites for the new shop.

Shane salutes me with a dopey grin on his face before heading into his room to sleep like the dead.

Slater gives me a subtle head nod in approval, then shuts his door behind him.

I, on the other hand, am frozen to the spot. I find myself hovering in the center of the hallway as my inner demons battle with each other. My head turns from left to right as I debate which room I should go to. On my left, I have my guest bedroom. The one that was assigned to me when I first showed up here. On the right, is Beau’s room. The one I’ve been staying in ever since Beau and I collided.

I haven’t slept in my room since the day we painted, but it feels wrong to seek comfort in Beau’s willing body when I know I’m going to break her heart by the end of the week.

Yet it’s the only place I want to be. She’s the only one who can soothe the torment cutting into my soul right now. And I need the relief more than ever.

Stepping to the right and closer to her door, I grip the handle and lean my head against the solid oak.

My breathing is staggered as I shut my eyes and picture what’s on the other side. What could be mine if I just have the courage to open the door. To let her in.

I can almost see her lying in bed with her hair strewn across the pillows. Her red lips pursed as she dreams about peach pie and sunny mornings. Her legs tangled in the sheets as she tosses and turns, burrowing into the covers one minute, then seeking the brisk air the next.

Her eyes would slowly open and her button nose would scrunch up when I’d enter before rolling onto her side of the bed to give me space to slip beneath the sheets. Immediately, she’d scoot closer and glue herself to my side for the rest of the night, breathing me in like I’m her air. Her oxygen. The same way she’s slowly becoming mine.

My hand clenches around the handle before releasing it on a sigh.

My entire body shakes as I step away from my home and take a few heavy steps toward my future. The one I’m not so sure I want anymore.

I open my guest bedroom door then slide on my ass before resting my head in my hands and praying I’ve made the right decision.

Because if I didn’t? I’ll never forgive myself.

Chapter Fifteen

Noah

She’s pissed. Super pissed. More pissed than I ever could’ve imagined if the banging pots and pans are anything to go by. I groan before getting out of bed and taking an ice cold shower. Seems someone turned off the hot water.

I can’t help but chuckle. Sneaky brat.

Somehow, her little temper tantrum is enough to make light of my current predicament, and I grasp onto it with both hands by enjoying the weight that’s lifted from my chest, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Steeling myself, I make my way down the stairs and to the kitchen.

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