Page 20 of Forbidden Lyrics

“When she showed up pregnant and alone on my parents’ doorstep, I was reminded of how strict my mom and dad were with their punishments. I realized that if I didn’t step up, I’d never see my sister again. Or my niece or nephew,” I add. “And the idea of that almost broke me. So, I chased after her, promised not to be judgmental, and have been taking care of her ever since.”

He looks over at me again, his gaze narrowing as he takes me in from head to toe with a fresh perspective, though I’m not sure whether or not it’s a good one. I probably look weak for accepting my parents’ behavior for so many years. I probably look naive for living under their roof without really experiencing life at all. But at least I’ve learned from my past, and I’m trying to change my future. That has to count for something, right?

Still, those hazel eyes are killing me. Because I care what he thinks. Even though I’d never admit it out loud––heck, I can barely admit it to myself––I care.

Squirming in my seat, I untuck my hair from behind my ear and use it as a barrier from his scrutiny before crossing my arms and staring out the window. I want to beg him to stop looking at me like this. Like I matter. Like he sees me. Like he’s curious about me, the same way I’ve been curious about him since the first day we met. But that would mean admitting that I’ve been curious, and I’d rather keep living in denial, thank you very much.

“That’s…selfless of you,” he decides after a few seconds.

I shrug one shoulder, glancing over at him. “Someone had to be.”

“Has it helped your relationship?”

“Not really.” I laugh. “She’s still mad at me and doesn’t trust me.”

“Why not?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s convinced that I’m a secret spy for my parents, even though they disowned me as soon as I walked out on them to help her with the baby. They’re convinced that I’m becoming a”––I lift my fingers and do air quotes––“harlot like Maddie.”

“Ouch.” He chuckles.

“Exactly. Who are they to judge, ya know? Yes, she made a mistake and has to deal with the consequences, but isn’t that what family’s for? To help you when you’re down?”

I can feel him staring at me again. Like I’m an enigma that he can’t quite figure out. But I don’t know what else he expects me to say. I love my sister. I love her unborn baby even though I haven’t met him or her yet. And I’m going to help both of them. No matter what.

“I guess you’re right,” he agrees, albeit grudgingly. “I’d do anything for my brother.”

“Exactly.”

“Does Madelyn appreciate your sacrifice, though?”

With a grimace, I refuse to give his question too much thought, terrified of the conclusion I’ll come to if I do.

Instead, I release a shaky breath and reply, “I think so? Hope so?” I correct myself, though it still comes out as a question. “She’s just too stubborn to admit it yet.”

“Hmm,” he hums.

“That’s why I took the job at SeaBird, you know.”

“Why?”

“To prove to her that I’m sticking around. That I’m not judgmental. That I don’t think anything’s wrong with alcohol or”––I gulp and fidget with my seatbelt––“sex or anything else like that. As long as you’re being safe and not stupid, go for it, right?”

He smirks. “So, you’ve slept around?”

My cheeks feel like they’re on fire as I register his question before I point to my chest. “Who? Me?”

Chuckling dryly, he shakes his head and turns onto the freeway. “Yeah, you. Who else would I be talking about?”

“Uh…” How the heck did we get on the topic of my sex life? “No idea. And nope. No sleeping around for this girl.”

“Figured. But you’re missing out. It’s kinda fun.” He looks over at me again, giving me a playful wink that makes my ovaries want to burst. “How old are you, anyway?”

“I’m twenty-two. Why?”

“Because you reek of innocence.”

Convinced I’m going to die from embarrassment, an awkward laugh escapes me before I fold my arms and mutter, “Gee, thanks.”

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