Page 31 of Strictly the Worst

“It’s okay,” he says to her. “They’re veggie sauruses.”

“They’re what?” she asks, not getting his Jurassic Park reference at all.

His eyes meet mine again. And now he looks like he’s about to laugh. Against my will, a smile forms on my face.

And just like that, we’re on an even keel again. Or something approaching it.

The driver gives us carrots to feed to the pigs, which actually aren’t vegetarians. Like us, they’re omnivores, though their diet consists mostly of fruit and vegetables.

Linc puts Maya gently down into the water, then puts a couple of feet between them, but I’m too busy watching a huge pig swim up to me. He must weigh as much as Linc, and he’s got black and white hair, but his snout is perfectly pink as he eyes the carrot I’m holding.

He lifts his head out of the water expectantly, and I feed him the carrot, which he half-swallows between his teeth, before turning and swimming back to the shore with his prize.

And instantly, I’m in love.

Now that they know we have food, more pigs approach. I look over at Linc, who’s feeding a baby pig, and he looks just as enchanted as I am. Maybe Maya doesn’t like pigs, because she’s hanging onto the boat talking to her husband, who looks like he’s barely listening to her.

Another pig comes to me and I feed it, remembering the research we did about them when we were preparing our presentation. My phone is in a waterproof pouch around my neck and I lift it up to start recording the miracle taking place before me.

Nobody really knows how the pigs came to live on the island – which is uninhabited by humans. There’s a theory that they swam here after a shipwreck a hundred years ago, and learned to take care of themselves when all the sailors had died. Others say that a group of sailors brought them to the island to kill and cook them, but sailed off, leaving the pigs behind.

Whatever brought them here, they’re clearly thriving. And locals make sure they’re well fed and taken care of. They’re one of the most popular attractions in the Exumas and I can see why.

They’re enchanting.

When the pigs are fully fed, they swim to shore, their little legs paddling like crazy as they glide through the water. We follow them in, and sand coats my wet feet as we walk up the beach.

Most of the pigs trundle across the sand to a copse of trees and lay in the shade. A few of them are still huddling around us, clearly hoping for more carrots. And then I look over at Linc, who’s walking through the surf toward me.

The piglet he fed earlier is swimming beside him. He turns to look at Linc, as though to make sure he’s still there.

“Go in,” Linc says to him. “Go find your mama.”

But the piglet ignores him. And when Linc emerges from the water, the piglet continues to follow him like he’s Linc’s shadow.

“Seriously, I have no more food.” Linc holds his hands up, like he’s talking to a baby. “Shoo.”

I bite down a smile, because the little piglet has obviously taken to him. He slides his wet body against Linc’s legs, looking pleased as punch.

“Get off,” Linc mutters.

I grab my phone from the waterproof pouch hanging around my neck. Because some things have to be recorded for posterity. The pig gazes up at Linc, and I swear he has the same expression on his face that Maya had earlier.

Speaking of Maya, her husband has finally gotten out of the boat and the two of them are having a furious argument down the beach. Which is only adding to my good humor.

Linc walks away from the piglet. And the piglet follows him. Then the piglet starts scrabbling his paws against Linc’s legs, like a puppy wanting to be picked up.

“Can you help me instead of filming?” Linc asks, catching me holding my phone up.

“Nope, sorry.” I grin. “I’m busy. And you’re adorable.”

“I’m not fucking adorable,” he mutters, his jaw tightening.

“Language,” I say, really trying not to laugh now. “The pigs have ears.”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes, and I enjoy it way too much. Linc reaches down and picks the pig up as though he’s going to walk him back to his family in the trees. He cradles the tiny pink thing against his chest, and I swear everything inside of me combusts.

And then two seconds later, there’s a squeal and a huge pig thunders toward him, making Linc jump.

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