Page 30 of Strictly the Worst

“There it is,” the driver calls out, and we all follow the direction of his finger as he points at an island. A Cay, actually. The Exumas are surrounded by tiny cays and islands. According to Tessa’s research – which yes, I have read – there are three hundred and sixty-five of them. One for each day of the year.

The one we’re looking at is special. It’s called Big Major Cay, and like the others we’ve seen, it has pale golden sand that borders a green forest full of tropical trees.

But this island is different. Because it has swimming pigs that live there. I didn’t even know pigs could swim, but apparently these ones can and they’re a huge tourist draw.

The boat pulls up as far as it can, and one by one we climb down into the warm ocean. The water reaches my hips, the waves lapping at them as a couple of us help the ladies down.

I notice Maya’s husband doesn’t even bother to get off the boat, even though she’s stripped down to the tiniest gold bikini that hugs her every curve. So I help her down, and she hangs around me as I reach for Tessa.

And for a moment I’m struck dumb, because she’s taken off her cover up and looks hot as hell.

She’s wearing a two piece swimsuit. And though it’s no where near as skimpy as Maya’s bikini, she looks more beautiful in every way. Her skin is pale and glowing from the sunscreen she rubbed all over herself. And her hair is up, revealing the soft curve of her neck.

I try really fucking hard not to look at her chest. But I fail miserably.

Fuck, she has perfect tits.

Not too big, not small either. Just right. And I know they’d be soft, because there’s nothing about Carmichael that’s artificial. She’s so real she forgets who she is sometimes.

Fuck, I’m getting hard.

I swallow quickly, thankful for the ocean right now. Because if anybody sees me staring at her, I’m in trouble. Thankfully Maya seems to have gotten bored and is now talking to her husband.

Tessa lifts a brow as I offer her my hand, then takes it, looking a bit sullen. She climbs over the side of the boat and I steady her as she slides into the water.

“Okay?” I ask her. My hand is still on her waist. Water is lapping over it.

Her eyes flicker up to mine. “Don’t worry about me. Go spend some more time with your new friend.”

“Are you jealous?” I ask. Weird that I’m kind of hoping she says yes.

“Of you and a married woman?” she asks, looking over at Maya who’s currently hissing something at the guy she’s married to. “No, not at all.”

I tip my head to the side. “You sound very judgmental.”

Tessa shakes her head. “Affairs hurt people.”

It’s weird how her words feel like a bucket of cold water, even though we’re surrounded by the warmth of the Atlantic. “I’m not having an affair. I’m just talking to somebody who’s being ignored by the man she traveled with.”

Tessa lets out another huff. “I know how she feels.”

“Is that directed at me?” I ask, frowning. “Because you were the one ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you. I was filming,” she says tartly, but there’s something more than that annoying her. I can tell. I can read people. It’s my superpower.

She pulls that stupid hat on and I fight the urge to throw it far, far into the ocean.

Before I can say anything else, there’s a squeal of excitement from a woman in front of us. And that’s when we see them.

What looks like forty hairy, massive pigs, all swimming toward us.

Maya screams, and runs away from the boat and through the water, jumping into my arms.

TESSA

My jaw tightens at Maya’s overreaction. Everybody knows there are swimming pigs here. They’re exactly the reason we all got in the boat and have sat in it for over an hour, so her screaming seems over dramatic.

But Maya is still clinging to Linc, who looks stupidly amused as I glare at him.

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