Page 50 of Searching Blind

“I have two packages of each.”

“Then definitely the stew,” he said. “It’s the best.”

She couldn’t argue with that. As she heated enough stew for both of them, she realized she was feeling better. Still sore, but the pain wasn’t as bad as before.

The first bite of stew had her nearly moaning. “I never thought I’d be saying this, but this doesn’t taste half bad.”

Sawyer chuckled softly and scooped up a spoonful of his own. “That’s because you’ve been eating trail mix and beef jerky for the past two days.”

They ate in comfortable silence. She watched the fire dance and crackle, enjoyed how the soft orange light played over Sawyer’s face, accentuating his angular features. He really was a handsome man. Before his injury, she imagined he’d been quite the heartbreaker.

“Did you date a lot?” The question burst out of her before she could second guess it.

His eyebrow arched and he stopped with a spoonful of stew halfway to his mouth. “Date?”

Oh, God. It was a good thing he couldn’t see her face. Going by the heat in her cheeks, it was probably flaming red. “I mean, before you were injured. You must have had women throwing themselves at you.”

He set down his meal and looked in her direction, small smile pulling at his mouth. “Who says I still don’t?”

“Oh.” Could her face get any hotter? “I guess, the way you’ve talked, I assumed you haven’t…”

Shut up, Lucy. You’re just digging yourself a deeper hole.

She closed her mouth but couldn’t help the little embarrassed sound that escaped her. “Forget I asked.”

He chuckled and reached out until he found her hand. “No, it’s okay. You can ask me anything.” He gave her fingers a squeeze. “I didn’t date that much before. I had a girlfriend for a while, thought I was going to marry her, but… well, it was difficult with the Marines always moving me around. She decided she didn’t want that life. I don’t blame her, don’t hold any ill will toward her. She found a more stable guy and they got married, moved to the suburbs, had some kids. I didn’t want that life. I liked what I was doing too much, so I’m happy she found what made her happy. And… you’re right. I haven’t really dated since I was injured. For the first few years after, I was too up in my own head, too fucked up. It’s only recently I’ve started considering it again.”

She blinked at him, feeling a lump lodge itself in her throat. “You... you’ve thought about it?”

He nodded. “Yeah, every year or so I think about joining an app or something, but it’s a whole new territory. Not just the regular dating hurdles, but...” He trailed off, his face turning solemn. “Whenever a potential date finds out I’m blind, they start treating me differently. Either like I’m a kid or a fragile old man.”

“That’s because they don’t know you,” she said simply. “Anyone who can’t see beyond your blindness is blind themselves.”

He laughed softly and leaned back against the tree. “Dating is just...” He sighed heavily, then shrugged. “Never seemed worth it.”

Lucy watched him in silence, her heart aching for him. She knew what it was like to be judged on something outside your control. To be seen as damaged and weak when you knew you were anything but. Her fellow rangers had been looking at her like she might break ever since she returned to work.

She looked down at their entwined hand. “Is there… anything that would change your mind?”

A slow smile spread over his lips, and he tugged on her hand, pulling her back into his lap. “Yeah, you. I’ve only started to consider it again since I met you.”

chapter

seventeen

Oh.

Oh.

Every nerve in her body tingled to life.

She was hyper-aware of the feel of his firm thighs under her, of the hand that still held hers, and the other that came to rest on her hip. His breath was warm against her neck, steady and reassuring. She swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest.

She was excited. And nervous. And… wasn’t ready to go there yet.

“Can we… talk about something else?” Stupid of her to have brought it up in the first place.

He just kept smiling at her. “Sure. Like what?”

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