Page 45 of Searching Blind

“Was it because of The Shadow Stalker? Do I remind you of what he did?”

Just the mention of the name sent a chill scraping down her spine. “Please. I can’t do this. Not right now.”

“I will get you to open up to me, Luce,” he said and continued descending carefully, his boots scraping against the rock every time he pushed off the wall. “And we are going to finish what we started at the waterfall.”

She couldn’t tell if that was a warning or a promise. She didn’t know which she wanted it to be.

“Okay, fine,” he said when she remained silent. “Then tell me about your first kiss. No, wait. I don’t want to hear about that. Your favorite color. Your favorite food. Your favorite holiday. When did you know you wanted to be a park ranger? Tell me everything about you. Just keep talking.”

This, she could handle. She opened her mouth to tell him her favorite color was green, and she’d decided she wanted to be a park ranger when she was ten after visiting the redwoods during one of the few vacations she’d taken before her parents divorced. They’d fought the entire time, but for once, she hadn’t cared because the trees had captured her imagination. For a girl who had grown up in the flat farmlands of Ohio, they’d seemed almost magical, and she’d wanted to stay among them forever.

But instead of any of that, she blurted, “I was married once.”

Sawyer’s steady descent halted abruptly, his body swaying slightly in the air, blocking out the small shaft of light from above. Even though she couldn’t see his face, she imagined the surprise registering in his pale blue eyes.

“You were… what?” His voice echoed off the rocky walls.

“I was married.” The words tasted strange in her mouth, foreign and uncomfortable. They were true, but they were also a secret she’d buried deep within herself, tangled up with guilt and regret.

There was a pause before he started moving again. “What happened?”

God, why had she opened her mouth?

“Lucy,” he said softly. “I need you to talk to me.”

“I was young and naive,” she began, hating the vulnerability and pain she heard in her voice. “He was older and said all the right things. I thought I was in love. I guess I didn't really understand what that meant. I put all of my dreams on hold for him, gave up a lot of myself. I didn’t realize until it was too late what kind of man he really was, and by then, I was trapped, couldn’t get out. He hurt me. A lot.” She exhaled in a shaky rush. “Seems like men are always trying to fucking trap me. In an abusive marriage. In a cave. I refuse to fall into yet another one.”

Sawyer stilled again, suspended above her like a rugged angel in the darkness. “Lucy, I’m not a trap. I would never cage you. If I could, I’d give you wings and watch you soar. You deserve it.”

“You say that now, but the moment I sleep with you, that will change.” She regretted her harsh tone as soon as the words left her mouth. She felt vulnerable and raw in a way she hadn’t felt for a long time, and he didn’t deserve to have it taken out on him. “I’m... I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

It felt like an eternity before he responded. “You’ve got this shield around you, and now I get why. But, someday, I hope you’ll trust me enough to let it down. Just a little.” Suddenly, he was there beside her in the dark, his hands tracing over her body before cupping her face. “I will never hurt you. I’d rather die than cause you a second’s pain. And while I can’t promise that I won’t ever fuck up, I can promise you this: I will fight for you and protect you with everything I have.” He wiped away her tears with his thumbs. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until that moment. “If you give me a chance.”

She said nothing, couldn’t squeeze any words past the lump in her throat, and leaned into his touch. There was a comfort to his presence, a warmth that she couldn’t ignore. But it also felt like Collins all over again—he’d been full of sweet words and charming smiles, and all of it had been nothing but empty promises.

Yet, she couldn’t deny there was something different about Sawyer. A genuineness that radiated from him. He’d been there once before when she needed help.

But if she gave him her heart, could she trust him not to hurt her? Trust him to keep his promise?

“You don’t have to say anything or make any decisions now,” he said, releasing his hold on her face and shifting away slightly to pull something off his back. “We’ve got more pressing things to handle at the moment.”

She almost laughed at that. How could he so easily compartmentalize things? One moment, he was baring his soul to her, and the next, he was back to problem-solving mode. But then again, that was Sawyer. Steady as a rock, unflinching in the face of danger, and fiercely protective. He made her feel like she mattered, like she was someone worth fighting for. And that was something her ex-husband never did. He’d never cared enough to fight for her.

So why was she measuring Sawyer against that bastard?

Right. She wasn’t going to figure this out now. They had a tower to get to, and she had a hole to climb out of.

“All right,” she said, her voice steadier than she felt. “Let’s get out of here.”

chapter

fifteen

Sawyer ran his hands over her, checking for blood or broken bones.His heart was still lodged in his throat. He’d seen her fall. The moment the ground collapsed under her, his damaged brain had decided to kick into gear, and he’d seen the stark terror on her face. He’d seen her reach out a hand toward him. He’d lunged for her, but she was gone, and he couldn’t see shit again. He’d heard her scream, a sound quickly swallowed by the rumbling earth. Then, silence.

Jesus, the silence had been excruciating.

His hands were trembling, but he managed to keep his voice steady. “Is anything broken?”

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