Page 63 of Pretty Little Rocker

“I know you’re mad at me, and I understand that. All I’ve done is fuck up with you.”

Her lashes fluttered, but she didn’t look at me. “At least you can admit it,” she groused after a few beats passed.

“I can make up a hundred different excuses, but the truth is, I’m scared, Hayat. Love wasn’t something I ever saw up close and personal, but falling for you was so damn easy. And that terrified me. What if something happened to you? You could get sick, like my mom. Or you could have gotten hurt or worse when you went to that warehouse. So, yeah, I was scared.”

Top teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she finally gave me her eyes. “You let Maddie kiss you.”

“I did,” I admitted and felt her flinch. Seeing the pain cross her face, the way her body gave a ghostlike jerk, was the equivalent of being kicked in the gut. It didn’t feel good. I didn’t like it, and I would do anything to keep it from happening again. “But that was because that is how she always greets me. Neither of us has ever really thought anything about it, because we don’t have anything but friendship. Still, I realize that must have hurt you, and I promise you it won’t happen again.”

“You think I will ruin Autumn’s Slumber,” she whispered, back to looking over my shoulder.

“No, baby, no!” I released her waist and cupped her face, needing her eyes on me.

“You hesitated, didn’t even deny that I would cause trouble. Sparks and Jamie didn’t even blink. But your opinion, that was the one that mattered the most, because Autumn’s Slumber is dedicated to your mom.” Her bottom lip wobbled. “I don’t want to mess that up for you, Ky.”

“I wasn’t worried about you messing up the band. If anything, I think you’re the best thing to ever happen to it. Us. Me.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Then why hesitate when Maddie said what she did?”

“Because I was struggling to find the right words that would make you understand that no matter what any outsider says, there is only one Hayat. And she is mine. She belongs to Autumn’s Slumber. To Ky, Jamie, and Sparks Carver.”

A tear spilled down her cheek, and she looked down at my shirt, hiding the diamond-colored liquid filling those pretty eyes. “You went no-contact for the rest of the week.”

“Because I didn’t know what to say to fix what I’d broken. Jamie and Sparks were giving me shit, but all of this comes easy for them. Loving you is as easy as breathing to them. But me? I’m second-guessing everything I say or do in fear of pushing you further away.”

Hayat huffed exaggeratedly, stabbing her index finger into my chest. “You know what you should do not to push me away, Ky? Don’t agree to be a date for someone else to a wedding you know I’m going to be at.”

“I didn’t know you would ask us to go with you. She called, and I thought it was my only way to see you again. To talk this out and beg you to forgive me.”

“And instead of calling and canceling on her in order to be my date, you still came with her when we could have had this entire conversation last night and I could have been dancing with you and Sparks and Jamie right now.” She tossed her hair, causing a few ringlets to smack me in the face. “You’re such a fucking coward, Ky.”

“I know.”

“This wasn’t how I expected to fall in love,” she admitted. “Fuck, I don’t even know what I pictured, but it wasn’t this. Falling for one guy is scary enough, but here I am, in love with three of them. And one of them—that’s you, by the way, just in case your small brain can’t keep up—doesn’t have the balls to admit when he’s wrong and fix what he breaks when he breaks it. Did you expect me to come crawling back to you?”

I grimaced. “I didn’t expect anything. Because I told you, I have no experience with how love goes. I have no expectations and don’t know any rules. Yes, I’m an idiot when it comes to love and relationships. The closest I’ve ever been was when I was fifteen and had sex for the first time. I confused lust for love and got carried away. She told me I was a jerk and smacked me, then ghosted me.”

“Good for her,” she muttered, but I heard a new tone in her voice. It had a grumpy, jealous edge to it. “You listen to me, Ky Carver. And you listen good. My heart hurts because of you. In a way it never has before. And that’s on you. If I were smart, I’d tell you to fuck off and never talk to me again. But apparently, I’m just as stupid as you are. Because I’m going to give you one more chance.”

Relief made my knees weak, but I locked them in place, hoping it kept me from falling on my face at her feet.

“But I swear to all those gods my aunt Emmie prays to, if you hurt me, even one more time, I will destroy you.”

Air rushed out of me, and I crushed her to me, kissing her hair, her cheek, her forehead. “Thank you, baby. Fuck, thank you so much.”

“I’m not kidding, Ky. If you hurt me, I will shove my drumsticks so far up your ass, they will be able to pull them out of your mouth.” She pushed at my chest, but it was a weak move. Lowering my head, I brushed my lips over hers, kissing her sweet and soft.

Movement behind her had me shifting my gaze to find Jamie and Sparks standing there, arms crossed over their chests, but smirking at me. I eased my hold on Hayat enough for them to join us, each of them taking a side as we slow-danced to the song for several minutes.

Until we heard a rough voice being cleared, and I glanced over Hayat’s shoulder to find Harris Cutter standing there with murder in his aquamarine eyes.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Hayat

Turning slowly, I met my dad’s gaze and gave him a bright smile. “Hey, Dad. Great wedding, isn’t it? Are you and Mom having a good time?”

His eyes drifted over the three men around me, his nostrils flaring as flames burned in those blue depths. It didn’t help that Jace came to stand beside him as backup.

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