Page 8 of Practice Makes Perfect

Carter bends down to grab the lemon juice and pops back up, handing it over to me with a smile. Our fingers brush and I feel the same sparks that shot up my arm earlier making themselves know again. Maybe it’s just static electricity, but by the way Carter flexes his fingers as he draws his hand back, I somehow doubt it. He feels it, too, a thought that is both comforting and scary. “Sorry,” he says, his low voice calming me. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He grabs a glass from the cabinet and fills it with ice water.

As he gulps it down, I watch his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. Right now it is, except then I notice he’s wearing a fitted white t-shirt and gray sweatpants, and suddenly all I can think about it how good he looks in the casual clothes without a single oversized flannel in sight. The shirt stretches beautifully across his chest and as Carter turns to refill his glass, I can see that his pants fit just as well, clinging to the nicest ass I have seen in a very long time, possibly ever.

“No worries,” I mumble, suddenly in need of cooling off myself. Grabbing my own glass, I drink and we have a bit of a stand-off, neither of us talking, both of us just staring at the other. The silence isn’t awkward, it’s more … exploratory, like we’re sizing each other up. For fun and because flirting is basically my standard operating procedure, I pop my hip out a little and run a finger across my chest. Carter’s eyes follow both movements, but then his eyes narrow and his lips purse. Even though I’m sure it’s slightly due to annoyance with me, the expression is sexy as hell and I want to see it more often.

“Making dinner?” he asks, nodding his head to the counter that’s covered in half chopped ingredients and the marinating chicken. “You don’t have to earn your keep, you know. I’m happy to have you stay here.”

My feet, of their own volition, but not to my dismay, move two steps closer to him. The scents of cedar and sandalwood hit my nose. He’s around wood all day, so it’s no surprise that he smells like it, but what is surprising is my reaction to it. The scent rolling off his body is as alluring as it is comforting, and it’s making me want to curl up in his lap for a hug followed by a lengthy make-out session pronto. “Happy to have me stay here?” My head tilts and I narrow my eyes a bit to truly gauge his expression. Keeping my hands from running themselves up his chest is a trial, but I prevail. Barely. Finding someone around town to help take the edge off my libido before I accost my new roommate might become necessary if the way my body keeps reacting to Carter is any indication. “Just how happy are you, really?”

Carter looks a little dazed as we stare at one another, and when his eyes dart to my mouth, my eyes widen in reaction. Before I can dwell on that action, however, he begins talking and I find myself staring at his mouth in return. Plump lips stare back at me, and I’m suddenly incredibly curious as to what he tastes like. “I can’t really put a number on it. I’m just … happy,” he confesses. His eyes close briefly before he clears his throat and steps away from me. “What can I do to help with dinner?”

Whatever weird energy was passing between us seconds ago has vanished, and I decide not to push things. That would be bad roommate etiquette and my ego is a little fragile after the whole getting fired debacle, so I’m not sure I could handle the rejection that would certainly come if I made a pass at him right now. “Want to be in charge of chopping? We’re making shopska,” I explain. Pointing at the cutting board, I gesture for him to take over while I busy myself with grabbing a large bowl to toss the salad in.

Carter’s brow furrows, but he does as I ask and starts halving the cherry tomatoes, picking up smoothly from where I left off. “What’s shopska?” he asks. His strong hands make quick work of the tomatoes, and for a second I’m stuck staring at the large, capable appendages while noticing how good the gold of his skin would look against mine as he held me. He slides the vegetables from the cutting board into the bowl and picks up a cucumber, breaking the hypnosis I was momentarily under. “Sliced in halves?” he asks, waving the vegetable at me.

I’m sure there is some kind of crass joke I could make as he grips the cucumber, but I let it pass, proud of myself for my newfound maturity. “Quarters.” I smile and get a pan ready for the chicken. “And shopska is a Bulgarian salad made with tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and sprinkled with cheese. My mom makes it in the summer when it’s particularly hot out.” Memories of long summer days spent running around the neighborhood and getting into all kinds of trouble while I waited for Jake to come home from whatever music class or space camp his parents had him enrolled in flood into my brain. If only this summer could be as carefree and easy as the ones I had back then. Shaking the fog of the past off me, I realize that shopska isn’t the only thing I have to offer. “In the fall and winter I can bust out some of her stew recipes or one for stuffed grape leaves. They taste heavenly.”

My gaze meets Carter’s and he smiles wryly. “Plan on staying that long, do you?” His tone is teasing, and he actually doesn’t seem horrified by the prospect. Interesting. The playful expression on his face is one that I want to see more of, and I will definitely be analyzing the reason for its appearance in more detail later on, but for right now, I need to answer his question before he realizes just how deep my crush goes.

Playing things off, my shoulder shrugs as I place the pan in the oven. “Not sure, actually,” I tell him. It’s not simply a ploy to remain casual. I honestly have no idea how long I’ll be sticking around. Is there a timeline for getting your act together or whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing with my free time? Something tells me that even if I have a sudden epiphany about my life’s purpose tomorrow, I’m going to want to stick around a while longer. I could try to convince myself that it would be for Jake and JJ, but I know it would have more to do with the man standing next to me. Pursuing Carter would be a fruitless endeavor, but it would be a fun one, and after pretending to have fun for so long, I could use a little of the real thing.

“I’ve kind of been spending the last two days ignoring the whole fired with no apartment thing.” It’s been nice to disregard the swirl of emotions that those events have caused, but I’m going to have to face them sooner or later. By the confrontational look on Carter’s face, it looks like sooner just arrived.

“Why did you get fired?” he asks, scooping cucumbers into the bowl and moving onto the peppers. With a heavy sigh, I fill him in on the meeting with my dad, skipping the part where I almost started crying because I’m having a bit of an existential crisis. When I’m done, I gaze over at Carter and see that his expression looks as shocked as his sister’s did when I told her. “That seems like an extreme reaction for one mistake.”

My teeth dig into the side of my cheek to postpone admitting to the whole truth, but I might as well get it all out in the open now instead of doling it out in small doses. Being forced to think about it over and over again sounds more torturous than just putting everything out in the open. “I think it was less the mistake and more that he’s disappointed. Well, not disappointed so much as worried,” I confess, my voice small. “He doesn’t think I know who I am and he wants me to figure that out.”

A hand on my shoulder has my eyes on Carter once more, my mouth twitching with a bit of happiness when I see that he has abandoned his task and come to stand next to me. His touch is light, but it instantly has me feeling much more grounded that I did moments ago. What is it about this guy that has me feeling all kinds of wonderful in ways I never expected? “Do you think that’s true?” A slight frown appears on his face, and when his eyes flick over to his hand, he drops it as if keeping it on my shoulder would scar him for life. The loss of his touch is felt immediately, and I try to ignore the sadness that creeps back into my chest at the action.

Air tickles my lips as I huff a breath. “I don’t know. Maybe?” My hip rests on the counter as I consider his question. Who am I? It’s something I’ve been wanting to explore more deeply but haven’t for fear of what I would find, or rather that I wouldn’t find much of anything. Not finding the answer to his question, I pose another. “If I don’t know who I am, then how do I figure it out?”

Carter’s gaze moves to the window where you can see the mountains that are now almost completely devoid of snow. “I think every person is different, but I can tell you what I do.” His brow furrows again before he continues. “On second thought, how about I show you? The shop closes at 5:00 tomorrow. After everything is locked up tight, we can go for a small hike. Getting out in nature always helps me, and it might work for you, too. What do you say?”

Hiking isn’t something I’ve done much of. Most of my exercise comes in the form of Pilates and dancing around my apartment or whatever club I happen to find myself in, but I’m not opposed to going on a hike, especially if I’m being led by the man next to me. A thought occurs to me, and once again I make sure to not take advantage of his kindness. “Didn’t you just get back from camping?” He couldn’t possibly want to head back out again after spending a long weekend in the woods.

Carter smiles and shakes his head at me. “Yes, but this will be an easy hike, more like a walk near the lake than anything else. And I enjoy getting outside.” He starts chopping vegetables again and peers at me over his shoulder. “If you come, I’ll treat you to Frosty Dogs after. They’ve got the best hot dogs and ice cream in town.”

My eyes squint as I look at him. Alone time with Carter followed by dinner and dessert? That sounds suspiciously like a date, but I know better. He’s just being helpful and nice because that’s the type of guy he is. “Fine.” I move to the counter and add some spices and oil to the salad. “But I’m only going for the hot dog,” I insist. In reality, the smile on Carter’s face when I agree to his plan is the real incentive to do just about anything he asks of me.

****

An annoying beeping sounds from the register, again, and I offer yet another apologetic look to the older woman across from me. “I’m so sorry,” I tell her profusely. My fingers frantically punch keys on the computer to try and make change for the woman as I try to hide my irritation. Why can’t she use a credit card like everyone else? She could have tapped it and been long gone by now, but no, she wanted to pay cash. As I stumble with the sale and continue to uselessly poke and prod the machine in front of me, I grow increasingly impatient with myself. If I am meant to find out who I am, I can start by crossing competent cashier off the list with absolute certainty. When Maya and JJ finally come through the door, I breathe a heavy sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god. Maya, can you help me?”

Jake’s fiancée strides over and smiles politely at the older woman who has been staring daggers at me for the last five minutes. “Sure thing. Could you hold JJ for me?” she asks before dumping her son in my arms.

“S-sure,” I tell her, holding onto my nephew for the first time ever. JJ is a little shy around strangers, and even though I have tried to come by more often and video chat, he’s still been reticent of letting me get too close. Right now, he looks almost peaceful as I hold him against my hip. His expression is still a little dreamy, and I wonder if I haven’t been going about this all wrong. Clearly, anytime he’s sleepy is the best time to get in some good cuddles with this kid, and I make a note to slip in some more post-nap visits while I’m in town. Addressing the little bundle of cuteness in my arms, I make my voice soft as to not risk disturbing the peace we have between us. “Hey, Little J. Did you sleep well?” He bobs his head sleepily and rests it against my shoulder as he pets my hair. Maya has finished wrapping up with the customer and is staring wide-eyed at the two of us. My head shakes frantically at her. “Don’t say anything. You’ll jinx it.”

Maya stifles a laugh and holds up both her hands at my whispered command. While JJ is docile, I take the opportunity to walk around the room with him, rubbing his back lightly to keep him in a comfortable state. People wouldn’t think this about me since I don’t get many opportunities to spend time with them, but I absolutely adore children. They are so pure and don’t expect you to be an intriguing, interesting, and complex individual, they just want to be cared for and loved. It’s not much different with adults really, but growing older adds complications from years of life experiences that are both good and bad. Looking at the little boy leaning on my shoulder, I envy his lack of cynicism in all things, but especially love.

“Silky,” JJ says as he pets my hair. I smile at the compliment.

“Thank you,” I tell him, reaching a hand up to ruffle his red curls. “The conditioner is imported. Though I doubt I’ll be using that much longer. Auntie Billie is on a budget these days.” Walking over to the counter, I reach underneath where I stowed my purse and fish around inside until I reach my prize. “Not too tight a budget to not spoil my favorite kiddo, though.”

As I present the small stuffed dinosaur to JJ, I revel in the bright smile that plasters itself on his face as he immediately perks up. “Dino,” he cries out. His voice is a little too loud considering his proximity to my ear, but I can handle some hearing loss if it means that he’s smiling and happy. “Dank oo, Biwee.”

My eyes water at hearing him addressing me directly for once, not shying away in the least or hiding his cute face. Finally, I snap out of it, smiling and nodding at him. “You’re very welcome.” JJ squirms in my arms and I set him down, watching as he runs over to Maya to show off his dinosaur before heading into the office to play.

“He loves dinosaurs.” Maya smiles at me. “And you didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”

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