He gestures to the wall I was just admiring. “Well, it kind of is, but other than that I don’t have a lot of time to make pieces for myself.”
My jaw drops as I walk over to his closet. “You literally made a bed frame that doubles as a fort for JJ,” I remind him. “You could have been a little less extra with that and done something nice for yourself.”
Carter’s hands get stuffed into his pockets and his shoulders bounce. “I would rather do nice things for other people.”
Sighing, I smile indulgently at him. Of course he would have an inability to be selfish. “Well, if you won’t do something nice for yourself, it’s a good thing I’m here to do nice things to you.” My eyes widen as I realize words just popped out of my mouth. “For you. Do nice things for you,” I gulp. Burying my head in the closet is a great way to both hide my beet red face and to avoid looking at Carter after my little Freudian slip. As I rifle through his clothes, I see a lot of the same thing—jeans, oversized flannels, and the occasional faded button down. Popping my head back out, I gape at my roommate. “This is pretty dire, Carter. I don’t see a single pair of slacks in here.”
He plops down on his bed, looking completely unbothered by my declaration. “I don’t really have much occasion to dress up,” he admits.
I hum a reply as I move over to his dresser. I don’t want to think about Carter being lonely, mostly because it reminds me of my own desire for companionship. Nor do I want to think about him having more occasions to dress up, like going on dates with women who aren’t me, but I can’t be selfish, at least not with someone like him. He deserves someone as great as he is, not someone who barely has any direction for her life. As I search through his drawers, coming across a lot of t-shirts, sweatpants, and the occasional long sleeved Henley, something niggles at my mind until I finally realize what I’ve been looking for and haven’t found. Spinning around, I look at Carter’s expectant face. “Where are your boxers?”
Carter shakes his head. “I don’t have any,” he replies. He offers up no other information, so I’m forced to drag the conversation along on my own.
“Okay. Well, then where are your briefs?” He shakes his head again. “Boxer briefs?” Another head shake. “Panties?” I hedge. Not for nothing, but I definitely don’t hate the image of Carter in a pair of my lacy black underwear. He could definitely pull off the look.
Carter coughs and gives me a pointed look. “I don’t really own any underwear.”
“Oh,” I reply. Then his words hit me with the force of a Mack truck and I nearly swallow my tongue. “Oh.” Carter goes commando, so the other day when he was doing his little striptease, if I hadn’t spoken up I would have gotten a lot more than a peek at some underpants. My mind floods with all kinds of images of what I might have seen and how differently that afternoon could have played out had I seen it, and suddenly I need to be anywhere other than in this room with him. The air is stifling, my skin feels hot, and tight, and there is a steady ache between my legs that needs to go away before I straddle the man in front of me and ask him for a helping hand. “I can work with that. I mean, we can work with the whole no undies thing. Your wardrobe definitely needs updating, so we’ll go shopping this weekend and get a capsule wardrobe for you. Don’t worry about not knowing what that means, I can explain that later.” I cringe at the speed of my words and overall awkwardness as I back toward the doorway. “I’m going to go for a walk. Just for a bit.”
Carter coughs again, shifting on the bed. When I see the move, I start thinking about how broken in the denim of his pants is and that it probably feels very soft against his bare skin. This is not helpful thinking. “Sounds good,” he says, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “Be safe.”
My head moves up and down like an out of control bobble figure as I back out of the door. “Yup, totally. I’ll see you later.” As soon as I’m free, I bolt out of the apartment and head down the stairs. My feet hit the sidewalk hard as I run from all the feelings that my very interesting discovery from minutes ago has stirred up.
The night air does little to cool me as I make the short walk over to the town square. Spying the fountain that is fabled to have brought magic into the lives of some of the townspeople as well as Jake and Maya, I take a seat at the edge, hoping the mist coming off the running water will help squash my desire. When sitting there doesn’t help, I remember that I promised to call my parents. Speaking with them is a sure fire way to get my hormones in check, so I pull out my phone and dial up my dad. I shot off a text when I arrived in town to let them know I was safe, but other than that, he and my mom have left me to my own devices, much like when I was younger.
On the third ring, he finally answers, his loud voice booming Bulgarian greetings through the speaker. “Biliyana! It is good to hear from you, my treasure.” The nickname he has called me since birth brings a smile to my face and helps to calm my stormy emotions. “You are on speaker and your mother is here as well. Now, how has your time with Jake been?”
“Good,” I answer honestly. What little time I have spent with my best friend has been great, though to be honest I have preferred the time I’ve been spending with my new roommate. “We haven’t had a lot of time to hang out since I just got here and him being so busy with work and JJ, but I’m keeping myself busy in other ways.” After filling my parents in on my time at the store today and my hiking adventure with Carter, I explain how I am thinking about moving into party planning starting with my nephew’s birthday. When no reply comes across, I pull back and check to see if my phone is still on. “Mom, Dad? Are you there?”
A heavy sigh comes through and I frown at it before I hear the softer tones of my mother’s voice. “If that is something you want to do, then your father and I will support you in that, of course, but you sounded so excited when you talked about the store you are working at now or your new friend.” I don’t miss her emphasis on the word friend and make a mental note to not mention Carter anymore so she doesn’t get any wild ideas that I haven’t already had and dismissed a million times myself. “When you speak about planning parties, it doesn’t sound like the idea lights you up,” she tells me.
My eyes roll a bit at that because what job lights anyone up? My mind also conjures up images of Jake smiling as he shakes hands with a small business owner, Maya getting all giddy when she finishes one of her crocheted animal buddies for a small child, or Carter’s look of pride when he runs his hands over one of his wood pieces. They all seem to have found the thing that lights them up, and I want that for myself. Sure, the idea of planning parties for the rest of my life doesn’t sound amazing, but I won’t know until I take that first step. Besides, not everyone can love what they do for a living.
Shrugging a shoulder, I focus my attention back on my call. “It might not light me up yet, but we’ll just have to see how I feel after the party.”
“This is true, I suppose,” my mother tells me.
We move on from the topic of my not-so-put-together life over to their very established ones that include the latest win my father had in a seniors’ boxing tournament and gossip about my mother’s friends. We pointedly avoid talking about my dad’s company, and that’s fine with me. That part of my dad’s life is important to him, so I hope we can speak about it eventually, and there are honestly no hard feelings on my part. It speaks to just how much I had started to detach myself from the job, and I wonder why it took me getting fired for me to finally do something about it.
After we say our goodbyes and promise to talk soon, I hang up and turn to look at the fountain behind me, the light from nearby businesses playing on the water. Wistfully, I gaze at the statue of the two doves in flight, wondering if I will ever be at peace like that with someone next to me as I make my way through life. Jake told me about how he came to Starlight Lake on a whim and wished for something incredible. He got Maya and JJ in return, and while I would love to believe something similar could happen to me, maybe even with a certain woodworker I know, I’m just not sure that’s the case. Still, as I pull a dime from my pocket, close my hand around it and shut my eyes, I hope that maybe there’s enough magic left here for me.
Chapter Nine
Carter
After the night Billie went through my wardrobe and I subsequently confessed to going sans underwear all the time, we’ve spent the last few days avoiding the topic of our upcoming shopping trip. That ended last night when Billie announced that we would be going to the outlet center a few towns over to “shop ‘til we drop,” and now I’m sitting in the passenger seat of her small sports car, wondering what I’ve gotten myself into. Agreeing to Billie’s plan was easy enough, especially after she complimented me and told me I’m sexy. While I’m not sure I totally believe her about that last bit, I’m flattered that she noticed that I like to do things for other people.
Maybe acts of service and gifts is my love language, but it’s also something I’ve always enjoyed doing. Just as Billie enjoys meeting new people and generally being social, I love seeing people’s faces light up with glee when they receive one of my furniture pieces or eat one of the meals I’ve made. Glancing over at the woman next to me, I can’t help but want to do so many acts of service for her too.
Beyond helping with her business ideas or letting her stay in the apartment, I want to shower her with compliments about what an amazing person she is and how much happier I’ve been in the week she’s moved in with me. The loneliness is gone, but it’s more than that. It’s having her at the store and getting to know her bit by bit every time we interact. There are also other acts of service I wouldn’t mind performing, like doing whatever I can to make her moan and scream with pleasure until she begs me to stop. But it’s been so long that I probably wouldn’t even know what I was doing if she ever deigned to let me near her. With a heavy sigh, I turn and look out the window, noticing the large sign for the outlet mall just up ahead.
“Come on, Carter,” she chastises me. She’s completely misunderstanding the reason for my mood, although shopping isn’t exactly the type of activity I get jazzed about. Her hand reaches over and squeezes my knee, a move that definitely doesn’t help the arousal I was feeling moments ago. “It won’t be that bad. I’ll go easy on you, and if you promise to keep the complaining to a minimum, I’ll even buy you a pretzel as a reward.”
I huff a laugh. My mind was thinking of other rewards, but despite her declaration that she thinks I’m sexy, I somehow doubt she would be down for offering any of those instead. “Throw in some cheese sauce and you’ve got yourself a deal.” I smile over at her, happy when I get one of hers in response.
Ten minutes later, Billie is pulling me along while I drag my feet over to the first store. “I know that you’ve got a budget, but just remember that you might spend a little more now for clothes that will last much longer than if we went for cheaper options,” she explains.
I nod as we head into what looks like a high-end camping store. “What is this place?”