Page 6 of With This Wish

After dropping my keys in the small ceramic bowl on the entryway table, I turn around and smile as I pull Jake further into the room. “Do you want something to drink?” When I remember we don’t keep any alcohol in the apartment, my lips find its way between my teeth. It’s a bad habit from childhood I haven’t been able to shake. “I don’t have much, but I do have water or tea. It’s probably a little late for coffee,” I finish off lamely, gnawing on my bottom lip.

Jake steps forward and brushes his thumb against my mouth, stopping my worrying. “I’m good,” he says, a smile on his face. “That hot chocolate was surprisingly filling.”

“That’s because it was hot chocolate and not hot cocoa. Cocoa is made with sugar and cocoa powder and not real chocolate which makes it less substantive,” I say. I wince at how horrible I am at making conversation and flirting, especially when I’m nervous. And I am nervous, but not because of anything Jake has said or done. It just feels as if I shut myself down for a while, and now that I’m back in the real world, I’m still working the kinks out. It doesn’t help that everything about Jake feels so special that I don’t want to screw anything up. “I’m sorry.” My hand drops his as I walk over to the Persian blue sofa and collapse into the soft cushions, my head resting in my hands to hide my embarrassment.

The couch dips next to me and before I know it, two hands are reaching up to pull mine away. Jake laces his left hand with my right, smiling shyly at me as he lifts them slightly. “I was kind of getting used to this,” he says, his brow furrowing slightly. “And why are you sorry? I just learned something new, so it’s all good.”

My head tilts as I study his expression. He looks genuinely unbothered by my weird ramblings, and while he could just be that desperate for company, I somehow doubt a man as good-looking and nice as him is hurting for attention. I exhale slowly, turning my body to face him and bringing our joined hands into my lap. Jake mimics my posture so we can look directly at each other. “I guess I just feel a little silly sometimes. Like I don’t know how to talk to people anymore.” He nods and I figure if he’s going to stick around, I may as well show a little more of my brand of awkward while I’m at it. “You’re also the first person I’ve had over in a while, and I suppose I’m feeling a little out of practice.”

“Ah,” he says, leaning his shoulder against the couch. “So, you’re veering from your routine too?”

I smile at his phrasing and chuckle lightly. “I guess you could say that, though I didn’t mean for it to become a routine.” My head shakes and I avoid his gaze. “We can talk about something else, though.”

Jake tugs on my hand until I’m looking at him again. When my eyes meet his, they are warm and inviting. “Hey, I said I wanted to know everything about you,” he tells me, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of my hand. “I meant it.”

“Are you sure?” The question leaves my mouth as I wonder who this unicorn of a man really is. Lately, I haven’t felt like I’m anything special, but it seems that Jake does. When he nods I throw caution to the wind and let it out. “I haven’t really been interacting with people outside of work since my parents died a couple of years ago. Drunk driver.”

At that last bit, understanding dawns on his face and he nods. “So, it was you who came up with the hot chocolate and cookie idea.” He smiles and bumps my leg with his. “It’s a really good idea.

“Thanks,” I breathe out. Wanting more of a connection, I rest my bent leg against his so our knees are touching. “I miss them like crazy, and without meaning to, I guess I just kind of pulled back from everything that wasn’t essential, or at least I didn’t think was essential at the time. Things like dating or going out with friends, especially to bars and clubs, felt unnecessary at the time.” My head lolls against the back of the couch as I continue. “It’s like I was still here, but not really. There was this hollow shell walking around that looked and sounded like the old Maya, but I didn’t feel like her.”

Jake reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he says. He brushes the backs of his fingers against my cheek in a move that is both comforting and extremely alluring. “What changed? What made you want to be more you again?”

“Hmm? Oh,” I mumble, embarrassed that I got lost in his touch for a moment. “I don’t know if it was one thing exactly, but I suppose I just started to feel more of the old me coming back every now and then. Day by day, my grief didn’t feel quite as overwhelming as it had until one day I woke up and realized I would never be the same person. Losing my parents changed me in some ways, but not completely, and that didn’t mean I couldn’t still do the things that used to bring me the most joy.” I reach up and touch the valknut around my neck. “My parents would want that.”

“I’m sure they would,” Jake agrees. His long fingers graze down my neck until they brush against my fingers and rest over the cool metal of my charm. “What does it mean?”

“Family,” I let out shakily. Family has always been something I valued above all else and I want that feeling of family back. It’s why I went out today, to be around others and feel a sense of belonging. It’s also what I wished for in the fountain before I started handing out cookies. My eyes were closed tightly as I tossed my coin into the fountain, wishing more than anything I could have that warm feeling of family again.

“Family is important to you.” It’s a statement rather than a question, and his eyes never wander from mine as he says it. The tone of his voice is commanding, and I feel compelled to scoot even closer to him.

“Very,” I admit. My eyes roam over his body, trying to find any indication of who the man under all the beauty is. “What about you? What’s important to you, Jake?”

He chuckles lightly. “Well, if you had asked me that question this morning, I would have said routine, following the plan. Now, though, I’m not so sure.” A wry expression appears on his face, making him even more handsome. “Today has certainly not gone according to plan, but in the most pleasant way possible.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” I ask with a smile.

“Yes and no.” His free hand rakes through his hair, making the curls stick out slightly in a way that makes me want to smooth them out. “I mean, I’m normally a stick-to-the-plan-no-matter-what kind of guy, and not doing that can cause a little anxiety,” he concedes. Both of his hands reach over and pull my legs onto his lap, squeezing my knees before resting his hand there. The move isn’t one I saw coming, but I’m instantly comfortable and love the feel of his hands on my body. “But all the anxiety in the world is worth it because I got to meet you.”

After that declaration, there’s nothing left for me to do but kiss him. I’ve been dying to since we got here and his attentive listening and comfort has only made me want it more. “I’m glad your plans changed.” My breath hitches as I grab the back of his neck and pull his lips down to meet mine. Our first kiss started sweet and went from there, but this one is skipping right past sweet and going straight to spicy. My hands reach into his long, chestnut locks and grip the curls while my tongue slips into his mouth to get another taste of the spicy chocolate flavor that was on him earlier. When Jake groans and moves his tongue against mine, I shift my legs and straddle him, enjoying the feel of his hands as they glide up and down my sides before resting on my hips and dragging me closer. When I grind down on the hardness in his jeans, he breaks the kiss, resting our foreheads together as we catch our breath.

“We can’t” he pants out. His expression is pained even though his eyes burn with desire. “I’m leaving.”

With those two words, I start to feel my heart crack in two, but I’m not going to let it stop me from being with the first man to ever set my soul on fire, to feel a deep connection that I can’t explain but want to explore, even if only for a limited time. My tongue peeks out to lick my suddenly dry lips, and I swallow the lump of emotion in my throat. “I’d rather spend one night with you then live the rest of my life wondering what could have been.” I want much more than one night, but if that’s all I’ll get then I will take it.

Jake’s blue eyes meet mine, and I can see the smoldering embers of desire lighting anew. “I feel the same way,” he says, leaning down and kissing me soundly once again.

We continue to hold one another, our bodies moving together as one, like they are getting reacquainted rather than exploring for the first time. Each pass of his hand over my hip, my back, or my legs leaves a trail of heat in its wake, and soon I’m so worked up I know I’ll burst if I don’t have him inside me soon. Breaking the kiss, I stand up and step back from Jake. His hair is mussed and his eyes are wide. The look on his face is one of confusion, but it clears the moment I hold my hand out to him. When he takes it, I pull him toward my bedroom, ignoring the warning that I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow and deciding to live for tonight.

Once we’re next to my bed, we lose our clothes quickly. My eyes drink in the sight of Jake’s hard body, and my hands move of their own accord to smooth down his chest. The dusting of auburn hair tickles my fingers as I trail them downward until I’m gripping him in my hands, sliding my hands up and down to the sounds of his pleased groans. He bucks into my grasp a few times before he grabs my hand. “If I only have one night, I want it to last as long as possible.” Kissing my palm, he holds me and lays me down on the bed before kissing me soundly once more.

Moments later, his mouth is trailing down my neck and over my chest. When he pulls one of my hard nipples into his mouth, I gasp and grip the back of his head. Everything he does feels old and familiar but new and exciting at the same time. The competing feelings coupled with the pleasure pulsing through my body gets me lightheaded, but his mouth moving south before his tongue licks up and down my wet center brings me back into my body. Every swipe brings me closer to the edge until he sucks the little bundle of nerves at the top into his mouth. My body tenses before I tip over, falling into wave after wave of gratification that crashes through my body.

As I come down, Jake grabs his wallet and slips a condom over his hard length. His eyes meet mine, and while they are almost feral with need, I can see the affection there too and know that he’ll take good care of me. “Please, Jake.” My hands grab for him and make contact with his warm skin just as he slides inside me. The fullness that fills me isn’t just from his body coming into mine, but from a feeling of completeness I’ve been missing for so long. Making love to Jake has me feeling more like myself, and it’s a feeling I desperately hope I can hold onto once he’s gone.

“I knew we’d be a perfect fit,” he says, his eyes sparkling. Jake leans down to take my mouth with his as our hips begin to move against one another to create the most amazing feeling of friction. Each crash of his body into mine brings me higher and higher. His speed increases as our hearts beat faster in time with one another, and when I feel him swell inside me, my body snaps for the second time as I find my release. Jake grunts and continues to pump into me until both of us have wrung all the pleasure we can from each other. He slips free from me and rolls to the side. After disposing of the condom, he pulls me into his body and kisses my temple. “Thank you, Maya.” My only reply is a hum of satisfaction, and I cling to him, wishing I could hold onto him forever.

****

---