Page 22 of With This Wish

We rejoin the table and finish our meal. Jake manages to keep up with Sue’s continued question-and-answer session as well as Carter weirdly asking about how his friend Billie is doing until finally JJ yawns and I happily call and end to the evening. After saying goodbye to Sue and helping Carter with the dishes, we get JJ ready for bed and settle in with a story. “…and they lived happily ever after,” Jake says, closing the fairy tale book and sliding it back onto JJ’s shelf. I lean over and kiss our little guy on the cheek, smoothing a hand over his head. “Love you, little man.”

“Love oo, Mommy,” he replies, yawning widely as his eyes grow heavy.

I switch spots with Jake, taking a mental picture of the two of them together as Jake leans over and kisses JJ’s forehead. “Love you, bud,” he tells our son.

“Love oo too,” JJ says before rolling over. Jake is stock still, watching over our little boy as he falls asleep. Finally, when he looks over to me, I see his eyes shining with moisture, and he has the most beautiful smile on his face.

After we stand and sneak out of the room, we move to the sofa. My eyes roam over to see Carter’s bedroom door is closed, and I’m thankful to him for giving us the privacy. “That was incredible,” Jake says quietly, a dreamy expression on his face. His eyes meet mine and he shrugs. “He probably says that to everyone, huh?”

I want to erase the now downtrodden look on his face so badly, and luckily I won’t have to lie to him to do it. “No, Jake. He says it to me and Carter, and very rarely he’ll even say it to Sue, but that’s it,” I tell him, enjoying the smile come back across his face. “He might not know what love means exactly, but to him, it means he knows you care about him enough to spend time with him, and he cares about and enjoys spending time with you too.”

Jake inhales, the sound slightly shuttering as he does. “Wow,” he says, clasping his hands together. “I don’t think anything will ever feel as good as hearing that.” He reaches over and grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers together. “Well, almost anything.”

I look down at our joined hands and smile. “I know it was a bit of a slip-up earlier, but I do think we can start referring to you as Daddy,” I say, licking my suddenly dry lips. “If you plan on being a part of his life, that is.” My stomach drops at the idea that he might not, and I try to prepare myself to hear the worst despite Jake saying otherwise all week. I trust him and trust that he wants to stay, just not that he can stay.

Jake leans back, looking as if I just slapped him in the face. “Of course I’m going to be a part of his life, Maya.” His face looks hard and he shakes his head as he looks away from me. When his eyes meet mine again, they’re a deep blue and his expression has softened a bit. “I’m sorry,” he says and sighs. “You asked a totally fair question. I guess it’s my fault for not being much clearer before.”

My shoulders fall and I try to be a little more sympathetic to what he’s dealing with too. I had eight months to come to terms with the fact that my life was forever changed before JJ arrived. Jake’s had to absorb all that almost instantly. “No, I’m sorry,” I confess as I reach over and touch his arm. “I know it’s a lot to deal with and process. I’m just eager to know what your plans are.” I scoot closer with a wry smile on my face.

Jake stares into my eyes for a moment, not saying a word, but I don’t squirm under his gaze because I know he’s not scrutinizing or judging me. I’ve caught him looking at me the same way a few times this week, like he wants to look at me just because he can, and I want so badly to believe that’s the case. “I wish I could keep you.” His words from years ago run through my mind as we look at one another. Instead of remembering his actions that morning, maybe I need to focus a little more on his words from back then, and the ones he’s been telling me all week. “I want to be a part of JJ’s life,” he says adamantly, pulling our joined hands onto his lap. “I want to be a part of both of your lives. I don’t want to say too much because there’s a chance it won’t work out and I’ll have to come up with something else, but I’ve been working on a plan so I can stay here. Permanently.”

Hope flares in my chest, the torch I’ve been carrying for him all these years flaming brighter. “Here, as in Starlight Lake?”

Jake nods, gripping my hands tightly. “Yes, in the town, but also with the two of you.” His eyes flick away, like he’s got a secret or something, but soon his eyes are back on mine. “I know it’s fast, but I want the three of us to be a family.”

The flame inside my chest threatens to grow into an all-out inferno, but I temper my excitement. Jake is a good guy. He has “Always Does the Right Thing” practically written across his forehead. I don’t want him to be with me out of some sense of obligation. “Jake, you’ll always be JJ’s dad and you’ll always have a place with him,” I say, trying to brush away the pain I feel at thinking of not being with him. “You don’t need to include me because you feel like you have to. We can co-parent, or work something else out—”

Jake stops my words with a finger to my mouth before he takes his strong hands and frames my face with them, his gaze boring into mine so intensely I get that otherworldly feeling again, like he’s seeing into my soul. It’s like part of him is recognizing the part of me that has been connected over the ages, even though we can’t remember our past lives together. “Have to,” he says. His head shakes in such a way, it’s as if I just said the most offensive thing in the word. “Beautiful, being with you would be the privilege of a lifetime.” I lean into his touch, letting the feel of his warm hand against my skin ground me. “Do you not know how incredible you are?”

Before I get a chance to reply, Jake’s lips are on mine, soft and supple. It’s like the touch of a butterfly’s wings, but soon his hands move to the back of my neck and the kiss goes from sweet to hungry in no time. I grab onto his arms, enjoying the feel of his strong muscles beneath me. When he drives his tongue into my mouth, I open eagerly. Waiting for another kiss from him has been like wandering through the desert without water, but now I’ve reached my oasis and I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Our tongues slip and slide together as we familiarize ourselves with each other again. It’s just as incredible as I remember, yet somehow so much better. Jake’s hands tangle into my hair and I slide mine up to his shoulders before I twist on the couch and straddle him. A pleased grunt is his only reply as I move my body as close to him as possible. When I feel his hardness underneath me, I grind down automatically, loving the friction but hating that it’s caused him to pull back from me.

As our breathing mingles, I slide back and rest my bottom on his thighs. “Sorry,” I say sheepishly, looking to the side and swallowing thickly. “Must have gotten carried away.”

Jake tucks a finger under my chin and steers my face back to his. “Don’t be sorry, Beautiful. I like you getting carried away,” he says with a small smirk, nodding at the closed bedroom doors. “I just don’t love the idea of any surprise spectators.”

“Oh.” I slide to the side and rest my head against his shoulder. “JJ’s timing has been pretty impeccable when it comes to interrupting us this week, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Jake says, wrapping his arm around me. “What do you say to a date night? Just the two of us.” He leans his head against mine and breathes in peacefully. “I like the idea of having you all to myself for a while. Do you think you can find a sitter for JJ for tomorrow night?”

I smile at the idea of a date. We’ve never really had one, which is kind of crazy for two people who share a child and love one another, though we haven’t said that last part to each other just yet. Soon, I hope. “I think I can swing a sitter. If Sue can’t, I’m sure Carter will be more than happy to do it.” He has complained a little about not seeing his nephew as much this week, but he understands how important it is for Jake to have time with his son.

“Great. Then it’s a date,” he says. The two of us stay together on the couch for a bit, not really talking but just enjoying the feel of being next to one another in the quiet and stillness of the night. Eventually, Jake has to go back to his cabin and after another scorching kiss good night at the door, I sneak into my room, checking on JJ one last time before I slip under the covers. It doesn’t take long for me to slip away peacefully into sleep, thoughts of Jake and us being a family on my mind, giving me sweet dreams that will hopefully soon come true.

Chapter Eighteen

Jake

Trying to think of the perfect date to take Maya on kept me up longer than I would have liked, but just before I fell asleep last night, the best idea came to me. Maya loves the holiday lights downtown, so first we’ll have dinner at this little French place I saw on my drive over to Hodgepodge the other day, then we’ll hit the downtown ice rink for some skating followed by a cup of hot chocolate while we sit and enjoy the cool night air. While I am not planning on her coming back to my rental cabin, I’m not not planning it either as evidenced by my cleaning up and requesting that Housekeeping come in while I’m gone today, ensuring that the place will look as good as possible in case we do end up back here. If that does happen, it would most likely be just to talk more, but I may have made a trip to the convenience store late last night, making a purchase of definitely not-expired condoms to be prepared just in case things go the way I hope they do.

Kissing Maya last night was wonderful, and when she straddled my lap, my erection went from half-mast to painfully hard in about zero-point-two seconds. It took every ounce of willpower and good sense I had to stop things right then. Scarring our kid for life would have been bad enough, but having her brother come out would have been worse. Carter has been friendly enough, but something tells me him finding us in that kind of position would put me back to square one with him. It’s not his fault that he would think that way. After all, he doesn’t know my plans. Plans that include a rather large purchase in a certain neighborhood we drove through earlier this week, as well as another from a jewelry store in Denver as soon as I go back to present my business plan to my father.

Having to put together the formal business plan is a priority, but taking Maya out on a date is a bigger one. We’ve done things a little backward so far. We met, fell instantly in love, at least on my part, and then we had a child together all before going out on a single date. The night we met and spent together all those years ago seemed like destiny more than anything else, and while a traditional date seems a little unnecessary when what I feel for her is already so deeply rooted in my heart and soul, we need to have some time just the two of us. That is later, though. Right now, I’m heading into Hodgepodge to spend another day with my girl and my little boy. Smiling, I walk into the shop just like I have every day for the past week. I have Maya’s and my coffee order and a muffin for JJ. After the way he attacked the blueberry yesterday, I felt like a repeat of that flavor was in order.

After opening the front door and striding inside, I make my way over to the office, only to stop short at the sight of my best friend leaning over the counter, talking and laughing with Maya. Maya’s eyes flick to me and her smile brightens, making my day that much better already. Still, I approach cautiously. With Billie, you never know what kind of story she’s in the middle of, and I have walked in on one too many that included details from one of her hookups. “Hey,” I say slowly, thankful they seem to be at a break in their conversation. After putting the coffee and paper bag down on the counter, I pull Billie in for a hug. “What are you doing here?” I ask. It’s not that I’m unhappy to see her, it’s just unexpected, and I hope she doesn’t want to hang out. As much as I love my best friend, my plans with Maya will be broken for nothing but an emergency with our son.

Billie steps back with a perplexed expression. “Um, why wouldn’t I be here?” She looks at Maya and rolls her eyes. “When you texted about your big plan, I figured I would come and help you put it together.”

I hold in my groan as I watch Maya’s eyes widen. “Big plan?” she asks, looking at me hopefully. It’s not a secret, but still. I don’t want to get her hopes up if my dad doesn’t go for it.

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