Page 33 of Vicious Little Games

“Maybe.”

He clicks away on his laptop for a few minutes, eyes moving over it as if scanning through images. “What will you do if you manage to narrow the list down? Ask him for a DNA test?”

Shrugging, he says, “Hell if I know. I mean, whoever my father is, he doesn't have a clue that he conceived me almost twenty-two years ago. I doubt he wants me butting into his life, his family. Of course, he’ll assume that I want something from him.”

“Do you? Want something from him?” I ask.

“No. I just want to know him. It’s not about money. Yeah, sure, I could use cash, but it was never about that even when I grew up poor. I just…feel like I'm missing a part of myself.”

“That's how I feel about my mother,” I admit to him. “And while Dante may assume that she was killed by the Russians, I can't help but wonder if she just up and left. That’s why I hope he’s right.”

“You really think she could've abandoned you and your father on purpose?”

“Anything is possible.”

Cole shakes his head. “No, Cassie. I don't buy that for a second. You were a baby and there's no way she would've left you behind on purpose.”

“Well, I guess we'll never know since she hasn't been found, not even her body if she is dead. That’s why…I do hope you get your answer some day.”

“Thanks. At least I know my father didn't really have a choice. I mean, it sucks but I’m angry at my mother for never finding out who he was at the time. She could've used his financial support and I would've liked to have grown up with a father in my life. But she refused to go back and find him to tell him back when she had the chance. It's fucked up.”

“Vanessa was probably just trying to protect you. And herself,” I tell him. “If he had been a dick and turned his back on her, that would've hurt her too much, so she turned her back on him. After all, she was dealing with a lot of shit, getting a new identity, being a teenage single mother, and all while hiding from her psycho mobster father.”

“Yeah, that's true,” he agrees with another sigh. “I guess I can't really understand her decisions if I didn't go through the same shit myself.” Closing his laptop, he leans back against the sofa and says, “All I know is that if I were a father to some kid out in the world, I would want to know, even if I have a family or it would upend everything. It would be my responsibility to step up and be a father, no matter how old the kid was, even if he was grown by the time I found out about him or her.”

I can’t help but ask him, “Are you expecting some girl from New York to come up pregnant sometime soon?” Maybe the one he was talking to on the phone last night?

“No. God, no,” he replies. “I always use protection. I'm not stupid. My mother ingrained that shit in my head from the time I was like thirteen. That’s when she gave me my first box of condoms.”

“Thirteen?” I say in surprise. “My father thinks I should still be a virgin at twenty-one.”

“Yeah, thirteen. She told me that she didn't want me to use them until I found a girl I really cared about, but that if I was going to have sex, that I better not even think about doing it without a condom on before any serious foreplay starts.”

“You didn't with me.”

“What?” he asks.

“You, um, didn't put on a condom with me. At least not at first.” I try and fail to hide my smirk remembering how fast he came.

“I put one on when it counted,” he remarks. “One that I remember you throwing at my face just last night.”

“You deserved it,” I tell him. “My room still smells like rubbers and cum even with it gone. I nearly choked on perfume to try and cover it up.”

Chuckling he says, “Poor little rich girl.”

After flipping him off, making him laugh harder, I ask, “Are you going to Sophie and Lochlan’s wedding?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I still can’t believe Dante’s letting her get married.”

“He must be desperate for the alliance with Lochlan to give up his little girl.”

“Must be,” Cole agrees. “Are you jealous?”

“What?” I huff.

“Are you jealous it’s Sophie and not you getting hitched?”

“No.”

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