Page 120 of Vicious Little Games

Is that what love is? Caring about someone else so much that you feel everything that they feel?

If so, I don’t want it. That shit needs to fuck off and leave me alone.

But it’s impossible to get rid of the feelings because love is not something that you can just stop.

I know I’m in love with Cole. I think I’ve loved him ever since the night he came to my room covered in the blood of two men he thought wronged me. Maybe they did. I’m not ready to admit to myself that Cole was right about them, about what they did to me the first time.

When it all happened, I was confused but mostly happy about it, I think. I told myself it was a good thing to finally lose my virginity and have an exciting sex life.

Now, though? I wish they hadn’t come into the gym that night.

I wish that Cole would’ve been my first.

If I could go back in time, that’s the only thing I would change. It’s my only real regret.

The fact that I am literally checking my phone for an email of the results every single minute of the day just goes to show how much I want this for Cole. I want him to finally know who his father is and meet him.

Late that afternoon, when the email finally does come, I can’t tap my finger on it fast enough to open it.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

There’s a match.

“There’s a match!” I exclaim drawing everyone’s attention to the check-in desk, including Cole’s.

He abandons the computer and phone he was on scheduling reservations, hanging up on the person to get to his feet. “There’s really a match?” he asks me softly when he’s by my side.

I nod and offer him my phone. He reads the results for so long, like he can’t believe they’re real. Eventually, I pluck my phone from his hand.

“Do you want to meet him?” I ask.

He paces away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes. I think so.”

“Are you going to tell him he’s your father?”

“I…I don’t know yet. I’ll figure out what to say once he’s standing in front of me.”

“Okay. That’s a good plan,” I agree. “He could be anywhere, but hopefully in the casino tonight. Should we try calling him to the front desk?”

“Yeah. Yes. That’s a good idea instead of meeting him in one of the clubs while there are tits in his face.”

“Agreed.”

When Cole returns my phone to pull his own out of his pocket, I know without even looking that he’s searching up his father online. He had probably found him on social media while he was doing his research a few weeks ago.

“He’s an accountant in Thousand Oaks, California. Owns his own business, Phelps and Embler, CPAs,” Cole says.

“Nice.”

“Oh, and he didn’t play basketball.” Coming over to me, he shows me old photos from the fraternity’s site. “He played rugby at USC.”

“Rugby?” I say in surprise. “I thought that was just a British sport.”

“It’s like a badass version of American football,” he says with a smile. “My dad must have been a tough guy when he was in college.”

“Must have been,” I agree, glad to see him looking lighter, like his usual self. There’s still some nervous energy coming from him, but he seems happier for sure.

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