Page 76 of Only Girl Alive

Hannah pulled the kitten close and dipped her head so her nose ran over the fur. She smiled and glanced up again.

“It tickles.”

“You can name it if you want. I named my first one Whiskers.”

Her childlike giggle sounded so normal. Eve was able to read the psychiatrist reports from the court file. Hannah was diagnosed as a sociopath and a psychopath. The combination of the two was rare. The report stated Hannah would kill again if given the opportunity.

Eve was upset that Hannah had no family to represent her in court. Howard Wall could have gone or even sent his wife Linda, though Eve knew he wouldn’t. It bothered her that Hannah had no one.

No matter Eve’s mother’s problems. She’d rescued Eve from the cult. She’d given Eve Whiskers and a camera.

“I don’t have a name,” said Hannah.

“You can think about it. If you want me to visit again, you can tell me what you decide.”

“You want to visit me?” Hannah’s head cocked the same way it had when they were in the attic, but her eyes stayed neutral.

“I would like to, but it’s up to you. I like your hair,” Eve told her. She hoped it had been Hannah’s decision and not the facility.

Her small hand reached up and touched the ends.

“My roommate has hair like this and I wanted to be pretty like her.”

It would be up to the psychiatrists if Eve could come back, but if this visit went well, there should be others. She’d had to get special permission from Lieutenant Crosby too. He’d been against it. Eve pushed until he surrendered.

“I like it here,” Hannah said. “I get to watch television and cartoons. I like Care Bears.”

“I like Care Bears too, though I haven’t watched them in years.”

Hannah told her all about the latest adventure she’d seen the night before. They spoke for about forty minutes before a woman stepped in and told Hannah she had to go to class.

Hannah objected. For a split second, the little girl who murdered her family showed in her eyes. Eve shivered and then left, walking out to her car.

She would never forget what Hannah had done, but she would come back.

Thirty-Four

Sitting at her vanity, Eve inhaled deeply. So many thoughts ran through her head. She’d allowed her childhood to control her for too long. Her anger and resentment were okay. She accepted them and would fight to see other women and children had a chance. If her mother hadn’t come for her, she could have been Hannah. Clyde disagreed, but Eve couldn’t help thinking it. She wasn’t sure what she would have done under Aaron’s full control and abuse. Eve’s stepfather was important in the community when she was a child and he would have paved the way for Aaron to marry her.

She examined the scissors in her hand. She would get the ends shaped but she needed to do this alone. If a ten-year-old could leave this fundamentalist dogma behind, so could Eve.

Lifting her ponytail, she took a breath. Her hands didn’t shake. She cut through the first section. She released the sheared strands and watched them fall to the floor. She made another cut. Then, another. A million pounds of memories drifted down with them. She thought about the way Aaron always stared at her hair and couldn’t help smiling.

She removed the plastic band and shook her head until the uneven ends rested on her shoulders. It felt different in a good way. She shook her head again. The weight she’d carried for so long was cut in half. She brushed the shorter length and enjoyed how it swayed. She had made a huge stride in defeating her demons. She glanced in the mirror again and liked what she saw.

A survivor.

She tossed the hair in the garbage and took the bag to the dumpster on her way to her vehicle. She left her apartment and drove to a place that took walk-in appointments. The stylist had little to say after Eve told her she chopped the ends herself. They were tidied and looked great by the time the professional haircut was finished. Eve was glad she was the one who did it originally.

She had more to prove.

She took a selfie in her car and sent it to her mom. Her cell rang a minute later.

“I like how it looks on you.”

“Thank you. It was time.”

“I think it was too.”

---