Page 6 of Only Girl Alive

Eve’s childhood nightmare began after her father broke a restraining order and almost ended her mother’s life. A young man discovered Maggie at her weakest moment, crying on the courthouse steps, and knew exactly how to help the terrified woman with a young child when no one else could. He’d been trained from the time he could speak that his solemn responsibility was bringing new women into the cult. His words checked each box Maggie needed to hear and she latched onto the promises of safety and community where her ex-husband could never harm them again. With these vows secured in her mind, she carried Eve through the fundamental polygamist doors and straight into the arms of monsters.

With new hope for their future, Maggie became the fifth wife of one of the chosen and Eve became a bride-in-waiting. At four years old, she had more worth than the young man who had accosted her mother on the steps of the courthouse. Shortly after they arrived at the polygamist compound, the man was mysteriously expelled from the church for some small offense. Within a few years, Maggie and Eve understood perfectly. His life had no value to the fundamentalist church where there were not enough women to supply older men with multiple wives. The older teen boys of the community created a problem. An expendable one.

This didn’t mean life was easy for women of the church. Endless work and fear of being expelled from their home controlled every move they made, even the young girls. Maggie also had to put up with unexpected jealousy from the other wives. They made her life hell and it wasn’t the picture painted by the man who had lulled her into the extreme religious sect. Her new husband adopted Eve within a few weeks of their marriage. She didn’t even go to court. Maggie told Eve she had a new father and that was that.

The forced strenuous labor and constant adherence to the whims of the prophet brought Maggie to an eventual understanding that she’d made a mistake. Her new life became cemented in a different fear. She could possibly get away but Eve, as a future bride, could not. Though Maggie tried to obey, she was disciplined repeatedly until finally she was removed from their home.

Eve had a difficult adjustment period without her birth mother. She had never been treated well within the family. When she cried over Maggie’s disappearance, they told her to keep sweet and stay in step with God or she would be taken away too. Maggie was a vile sinner. Eve, now eight years old, was referred to as a young woman. She must prepare herself for the future by bringing honor to the family through marriage. Eve’s thorough indoctrination continued without Maggie’s interference. If she had any hope of becoming the wife of a future God in the celestial kingdom, she had to forget about her mother.

As Eve grew older, restrictions in dress, food, and thoughts made it difficult to adhere to the endless doctrine of the prophet and his son who was the heir to the polygamy throne. Sometimes, Eve doubted her teachings and it left her with a deep-seated fear for her worth in God’s eyes. The prophet’s direct ear to the Lord dictated the rules that must be obeyed. Filled with the guilt of sin at any small infraction, she felt damned for eternity where she would not be allowed to join her family in heaven. She stopped wanting her mother after they were separated for a year. Eve became ashamed of Maggie for causing problems for her father who did everything he could to secure their place among the chosen. Her father was denied new wives for two years after Maggie was removed. Her mother’s sins harmed the entire family and Eve was reminded of it constantly.

The only true break in Eve’s church-controlled thinking came at age ten. Her father’s second wife gave birth to a baby boy with severe birth defects. His head was large for his body, his muscles weak. A prominent forehead and wide-set eyes made him stand out from the other babies. It scared Eve at first but then his care was given into her young hands and she fell in love. Little Charlie became her world. His blond curls were the sweetest and his blue eyes held trust and adoration. The other wives and children didn’t interact with them and Eve knew they didn’t understand the sweet love Charlie carried inside his heart. When he smiled, the long nights he screamed didn’t seem so bad. For the first time, Eve truly felt loved.

At six months old, Charlie, unable to do more than a newborn, became seriously ill. Aunt Bertha, the midwife, came to check on him when he didn’t improve. She’d been present for the birth of the babies, including Charlie’s, and Eve didn’t like her. These were wicked thoughts but the woman looked at Eve with mean, judgmental eyes.

When Aunt Bertha spoke to her mothers in a low whisper about Charlie, Eve overheard. They talked about bleeding the beast, which scared her. She’d heard the phrase before but had no idea what it meant. It would be years before she understood bleeding the beast was taking government aid for children like Charlie. The money went to the church and did little to help the child.

When Eve became frightened and confused by the grown-up talk, and could not be calmed down, she was locked in her room. She cried for hours. Sweet, beautiful Charlie was gone when they let her out. When she screamed, everyone was angry about her emotional outburst and one of the mothers slapped her. Eve never mentioned Charlie in front of them again. She also never forgot.

A year later, a baby girl, Becky, was born with severe facial deformities that kept her from eating properly. Eve adamantly refused to have anything to do with her because she knew what would happen. Aunt Bertha returned three days later and took Becky away too. Eve didn’t cry.

By this time, her young life was full of hard work and complying with whatever it took to be pulled into the celestial kingdom by her future husband. She didn’t go to school because the prophet proclaimed girls required no outside education and must only live to serve their future husbands. She needed to study her role and understand her duty as a good wife.

One of her moms sat her down and told her she would be married soon. At age eleven, the women she trusted prepared her for her life of continued submission. Eve knew she could be called to join with a man at any time and she had to be ready. It was even mentioned that the prophet could show her blessings by choosing her as his own. She wasn’t sure what turned her into a woman in his eyes but she was assured she would know when it happened. Her only role was to keep sweet for God and to never disobey or question her father or future husband. To keep sweet was to swallow pride, swallow emotions, and suffer silently. Eve worked hard to do her duty and prayed God would find her a young husband. One of her sisters married a very old man with gray, wrinkled skin who walked unsteadily even with a cane. He looked like he was at death’s door and Eve didn’t want that. She knew her sister would kiss her husband. Each night her own mothers lined up in front of father’s door for their nightly kiss. The prophet was also an old man who wore a mask on his face for oxygen and the thought of marrying him scared her too.

Sinful thinking filled her thoughts and she fought against the yearnings for a younger man, knowing she would be removed from her family if they discovered her hopes and dreams. By this time, she had all but forgotten her birth mother.

Their family had continued to grow. Food preparation took hours each day and the clean-up even longer. Washing laundry, cleaning the house, and tending the large garden, which included canning and food storage, was all Eve knew. She didn’t remember a time her back or legs didn’t hurt from scrubbing floors or being on her feet for hours. She didn’t recall toys or other items that would attract children to sinful behavior. Toys went against the prophet’s teachings and children should pray not play.

Eve was considered the lowest rung in the household. She was not related to anyone by purity of blood. Lineage was important to the prophet and even the children knew Eve didn’t make the grade. Yes, they told her she could be among the chosen, but she knew she would never measure up to the standards taught to her and that her bloodline was unholy.

The one good memory she had was ice cream day each month. Eve’s father allowed them to walk into town if they had worked hard and been obedient. She looked forward to the trip with ungodly yearning. Twice, she was left behind after run-ins with one of her brothers. Crying silently while she scrubbed the pots and pans to a high silver shine while everyone else enjoyed time off had an impact. Eve swore she would try to obey every rule no matter how difficult. She wanted the ice cream. That delicious scoop of vanilla made keeping sweet easier. She also hoped her future husband would allow this treat.

On a moderately warm day a few weeks after Eve’s twelfth birthday, they left for the ice cream shop. By now Eve had eight moms and twenty-two siblings. The older girls were married and the older boys worked for the church and no longer attended ice cream day with them. Along with several of her young sisters, Eve helped carry the children too small to walk. They also surrounded the youngest in case they ran into people from outside the community, especially journalists. Speaking to non-members was forbidden. Their full, modest dresses created a curtain of safety wherever they went and they used them to keep the youngest away from camera lenses.

In the distance, Eve noticed dust spewing and a large vehicle heading in their direction on the long dirt road that led to their home. They lived in a secluded area with unused empty lots surrounding their house. Little grew in the high desert if it wasn’t watered and there were only small shrubs and scraggly trees for cover.

Her family moved farther off the road and surrounded the younger children as taught. Though nervous at the vehicle’s presence, Eve wasn’t really scared. When the SUV, similar to her father’s, stopped and four men jumped out, she didn’t have time to comprehend what was happening. A hard grasp on her arm, the baby she carried torn away, and a firm push between her shoulder blades upended Eve into the back seat while her mothers and siblings screamed. Things happened so fast; she hardly made a sound. Arms from the third-row seat came over her shoulders and a voice she hadn’t heard in years told her she was safe.

Her birth mother had claimed her.

Six

Eve took her gloves off beside the front door without stepping outside. The wind made the house rattle and she preferred the warmth while berating her brother over her cell phone. She placed the call on speaker so her team, standing behind her, could hear both sides of the confrontation. After a deep breath, she made the connection. He picked up on the second ring.

“We have a missing child, you asshole. You can’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“It was your crime scene and you had things under control,” he replied snidely.

“You should have told me when you called this morning. A missing child is not information you keep from the lead investigator. Do we need to be looking for a body outside the yard?” she demanded, each word clipped while she fought to maintain her professionalism.

“The child isn’t missing,” Aaron said. “She stayed the night at her aunt’s home and is blessedly safe.”

Even though she remained angry, her chest untightened a fraction. One child had escaped the family’s awful fate. She inhaled to rein in her emotions a step further before she spoke again.

“Is there anything else that you refused to impart that could possibly help solve these homicides?” she asked, her voice stiff.

“I have a written statement from Howard Wall, Bart Tanner’s brother. Howard discovered the bodies when he arrived to pick Bart up for work. Bart is fifty-five years old. The woman in the bed beside him was his wife Marcella, age twenty-seven. She was Hannah’s mother. Hannah, age ten, is the girl who wasn’t home. Tracy, age twenty-two, Marcella’s sister wife, was in the other room.” A gruff sound entered his voice at the end of his sentence, even though his smugness stayed intact.

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