Page 25 of Only Girl Alive

Bart, the person who held absolute power over this family, the most likely source of their torture, was dead. It didn’t make her feel better.

When the autopsy was over, the tech wheeled Elijah’s body away. Eve and Clyde followed George out of the room. He ripped off his face mask and turned to them.

“I don’t know who is responsible for what happened to this family. Obviously, the deaths were not caused by the man lying in the refrigerator. He could have been the one to blame for all the other pain, maybe not. I don’t often ask for follow-up but I do want to sleep at night. Find out what happened and let me know.”

He assured them he would email the toxicology results as soon as they came in.

Eve had never seen George upset. Clyde rested a hand on the other man’s shoulder before they walked out. George’s chin jerked and Eve could read the emotion behind his thick glasses.

Before they got into the SUV, Clyde walked over to the passenger side and pulled her into his arms. She allowed his warmth to settle against her body. Like her taking his hand in the car on the drive here, they needed this comfort.

Eve wished suddenly she was a different person and the mountain of baggage she carried was not between them. This man, with his intelligence and compassion, was what she needed. It had simply never been brought home like this. They were friends. Best friends. She was more determined than ever to make their new relationship work.

“Our thoughts are in a bad place,” Clyde said after he turned out of the parking lot and jumped on the freeway.

“Shouldn’t they be?” she asked.

“We need to keep an open mind. Even though we think your stepbrother is covering for someone, the only way we discover who did this is to find out the why.” He stopped for a moment.

Eve waited.

“You lived within the community. You hold possible answers. Maybe it’s time you accept your past and stop being angry over what you were unable to change.”

Eve turned her head and looked out the window at the darkening sky. They hadn’t eaten and she was not hungry.

“Eve?” he asked, and she turned back to him. “You are not responsible for the time you spent with them. You were a child. You will never be able to forgive yourself because there is nothing to forgive. You would have left even without your mother. I know you. Those monsters could not have kept you under their delusional control. It’s not who you are.”

Fifteen

“Your hair is ugly,” nine-year-old Aaron had jibed, pulling on the front so it fell from its high swoop. With his other hand he made sure the mess could not be easily fixed.

Eve had lived in the house for one year. She was now five. She had many siblings and most of them ignored her. Not Aaron though. He liked to tease and make her cry. Crying was forbidden and she was sent to bed without supper if she were caught. It was easier to remain silent, like now.

She avoided him whenever she could. He scared her and the rules confused her. She wanted to play; she remembered going to the park. They didn’t have parks at her new home. She scrubbed pots and pans with steel pads that cut her small fingers. She helped strip the beds and remake them after the sheets were washed. She was told that idle hands were a sin.

Occasionally she would look down from an upper window and see her brothers being lazy, sitting on the yard’s fence doing nothing. It wasn’t fair. There was always work for the girls to do. Everything she did to have fun was a sin, but not for the boys.

“You must keep sweet,” her mother told her after she complained about Aaron pulling on her hair.

“I don’t want to,” young Eve said stubbornly while they stood in the bathroom, her mother with a brush in her hand. At least now Eve wasn’t waiting on her sisters, like she did in the morning, for her turn to get her hair done.

Her mother gave her a look that Eve was accustomed to. Maggie did not like it when she spoke out.

“It is a sin to complain,” her mother said. “God watches you always. Heaven is only for those who are pure of heart.”

Eve stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

“Eve,” her mother said harshly. “You will be punished if you act out. We cannot leave here. This is where we’re safe. You must keep sweet,” she repeated.

She jerked on Eve’s hair as she brushed and secured it so the front puffed up again. She then adjusted Eve’s dress over the layers underneath it. The material was hot and uncomfortable. The boys could wear pants and shirts. They could run.

She didn’t know why they had to stay here. When Eve asked, her mother would say it was where they were safe. Maggie was afraid of the man who hurt her before and Eve didn’t understand. The mean man was only a vague memory.

Right now, she hated Aaron, even though it was a sin to hate your brother. She would try to keep sweet if anyone watched. She had to pretend she was worthy for God. She wasn’t very good at it and she wanted to run away.

The day after Aaron pulled out her hair, he pushed her down.

“God punishes you because you are beneath everyone in this family. You are an apostate.”

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