Page 69 of The Kitchen Contract

I press my lips together, unsure how to respond. A glance at my watch tells me Miles will be here soon, and I need this to be done before then. I think about sending him away, but I’m curious about what he has to say, and I know I’ll be distracted during the meeting if I don’t hear him out. “You have five minutes.”

“Okay,” he nods. “The first thing I want to apologize for is assuming you were hiding something. I had no reason to doubt your intentions or actions other than the insecurities I had from my past, which is a me problem, not a you problem. When I didn’t even try to believe you, I wasn’t any better than the people who kicked you out of school. I’m sorry for overreacting and telling you to leave without giving you a chance to explain, and I’m sorry for speaking so harshly when I did it. But most of all, I’m sorry for being selfish about…well, pretty much everything.”

He's speaking so fast, he’s almost out of breath. I listen, doing my best to keep my expression impassive, but I have to admit he’s doing a great job so far of saying everything I wanted to hear. I just wish I could have heard it at a more convenient time when I had the mental space to process it.

“It was selfish of me to project my mistrust onto you without regard to your feelings. It was selfish of me to not reach out this week to discuss our arrangement and how this might impact your business, whether we stayed together or not. I’m realizing right now as I’m standing here thinking how great you look in that suit that it was even selfish of me to come barging in here right before you have to be somewhere.”

He hangs his head and squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the back of his neck. “Honestly, I’ve been selfish pretty much since the moment I met you. Sure, I wanted to help you with your show, but the main reason I offered to let you use my kitchen is because I was lonely and I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever been in the same room with. Everything I did to make you feel welcome was so that I could spend more time around you, even when I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. I…I’ve missed you, Rose. This week has felt like a month.”

He looks up at me with a broken expression that nearly tears my heart out. I’ve spent enough time around Alex to be able to tell if he’s being sincere, and I believe every word that’s coming out of his mouth. But it’s still a lot to take in, especially after spending the last week doing my best to distance myself from him and plan for a future that didn’t include Alex.

“What about now?” I ask after a moment. “What’s changed? Because I don’t want to get on the same horse and start all over just to be bucked off again.”

“That’s fair,” he says with a nod, his expression earnest. “What’s changed is that my siblings opened up my eyes and helped me realize what was really behind my meltdown that day. The first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem, right?” One corner of his mouth quirks up, but he sobers quickly. “I know I’ll still have to work at letting go of some of the old beliefs that have been holding me back, but what’s changed is now I realize that I want to do that work and improve.”

He takes a deep breath and reaches out tentatively to take my hand, holding it loosely in his. “Mostly I just realized that everything is better when you’re there. No matter what we’re doing, I enjoy it more when I’m with you. I’m still not sure I’m good enough for you, but I realized that’s up to you to decide for yourself. I gave you fair warning, after all.”

This time I’m the one suppressing a smile. “Yes, you did.”

“So I guess I’m just asking if it’s possible for me to have a second chance. I want to try again to be your boyfriend and show you that I can trust you this time. I’d like the opportunity to be the best man I can be—for you. You don’t have to decide right now. I’ll be patient and you can let me know.”

My focus has been completely zeroed in on Alex this whole time, so I’m not sure what makes me look past him right at the moment Miles Brenner walks through the door. My mind is racing as I take in the confessions Alex just made, cross-referencing them with everything else that’s about to happen. I know he said he’d be patient and wait for me to decide, but time is running out on one opportunity in particular, and I think he needs to know about it.

I squeeze his hand and take a step closer to him. “Alex, I want to talk about this more, but Miles Brenner—the producer I told you about—is walking this way right now. We’re supposed to go to a meeting where I am going to try to convince the network that I can make the show a success on my own.”

“But…?” I love that Alex senses there’s more without me having to spell it out for him.

“But what they really want is both of us. I know I’m springing this on you at literally the very last possible second…”

“I’ll go with you.” Alex doesn’t even hesitate. “If that’s what you need, what you want, I’ll go, and we’ll work together to make this happen.”

Miles is only steps away now and all I have time for is a grateful smile and a soft, “Thank you” before I turn to face the approaching producer.

“Nora Beckham?” Miles extends his hand, and I shake it, turning on my most friendly, confident smile.

“Hi, Miles, so good to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.” He turns to look at Alex with a puzzled expression. “And you must be Alex Lockwood, the second half of the dynamic duo. But” —he turns back to me — “I thought you said you’d parted ways.”

“Yes, well, we were able to work out our differences at the last minute.” I try to remain cool and confident under his scrutiny.

Alex extends a hand. “Nice to meet you, Miles. Sorry for the confusion about my availability. It’s been a crazy week.” He turns the charm dial all the way up to ten and winks at me like we have an inside joke while he claps a friendly hand on Miles’ shoulder. “Do you mind if I jump in on the meeting?”

“No, not at all.” Miles looks delighted by this turn of events. “I was telling Nora the other day that I think the network is most interested in the two of you together, a sort of dream team if you will. They love your chemistry and rapport.”

“You don’t say,” Alex replies with a wide grin. “Well, let’s go give them the old razzle dazzle, then.”

I lift an eyebrow at him. The old razzle dazzle?

But Alex only grins wider, if that’s possible. “What time is this meeting?”

“In an hour,” Miles says, checking his watch. “We need to leave soon if we’re going to make it in time.” He eyes Alex’s clothes, only just now noticing that he’s dressed in joggers and a t-shirt with running shoes, a backward ball cap, and a black backpack. It’s the perfect comfortable outfit for traveling. Not so much for a network meeting. “But we probably have five minutes for you to run up and change.”

Alex grimaces. “The thing is, I don’t have my dress clothes with me. I only just arrived and…the, uh, airline lost my bag.”

“Oh. Well…”

“I’m sure they’ll understand,” I cut in. “I mean, who among us hasn’t been subject to an airport baggage issue at some point?” I force a chuckle, and Alex laughs like I’m very witty.

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