Page 67 of The Kitchen Contract

“Okay, maybe I was a little too quick to jump to a conclusion there. But what about the schedule thing?”

“She mentioned to me that she was going to try to swap some shifts so that she could be off on Friday,” Annie says with a shrug. “Sounds like that’s what happened.”

And I thought I couldn’t feel any worse. “So, you’re telling me I broke up with a girl I’m crazy about when she brought me lunch on my birthday because I assumed she was lying to me about something without asking her to explain—and the thing ended up being a surprise birthday party?”

Grant gives me a thumbs up. “Sounds like you got it.”

I jump up and pace anxiously. “Oh man, I really screwed up.”

“Yep.” Grant puts an extra pop on the p. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know…what if it’s too late?”

“It’s not.” Maddy sounds confident.

Annie is quick to back her up. “Yeah, I had already decided I didn’t want to have anything to do with Grant again, but then he made a grand gesture and changed my mind.”

“A grand gesture? Like, what, flowers and an apology?”

Grant shakes his head and makes a tsking sound. “Honestly, I’m disappointed, dude. Of all the people in this family, you have the personality most suited to a grand gesture, and the best you can come up with is flowers?”

“Hey,” I say defensively. “I just started thinking. And how do you know I didn’t mean a thousand long-stemmed red roses delivered in a horse-drawn carriage when I said flowers?”

Grant points a finger at me. “Now you’re getting somewhere.”

“Yeah, and I could dress up in a tux and ride along with the flowers,” I say, warming up to the idea. “If I could just get her to come out in front of her apartment building when I get there...”

Maddy grimaces. “I think it might be more complicated than that. Nora’s not actually here. Like, in Nashville.”

I swivel to face her. “What? Where is she?”

“California. She said she had a meeting with a studio about y’all’s cooking show?”

That’s right, the producer she’d been telling me about. I was so wrapped up in my own misery that it completely slipped my mind. After I checked him out and gave her the green light, I didn’t really think about it again.

“I forgot about that.” I sink onto an ottoman, and Ileigh crawls in my direction with a big, gummy smile that would normally make me grin back. “Man, I really am the worst. In my defense, I tried to tell her that.”

“You told her you’re the worst?” Annie asks incredulously. “Why would you say that?”

“Because…you guys know what happened with Marissa. What kind of person – what kind of brother—does something like that?”

“Dude, how many times do I have to forgive you before you get the message and forgive yourself?” Grant asks, clearly annoyed. “That’s all in the past, or at least it could be if you can let it go.”

“Grant’s right,” Maddy agrees. “What you did wasn’t cool. But you’ve grown and changed a lot since then. You’re barely the same person now.”

Funny, that’s remarkably similar to what Nora said.

“You’re being really selfish,” Grant says, and I almost smile. Count on my big brother to give me the unfiltered, unvarnished truth. “You’re so busy worrying about yourself getting hurt and how terrible you think you are that you didn’t even take her feelings into account.”

“Not that your feelings don’t matter, because they do.” Annie shoots Grant a look that says she thinks he’s being too hard on me. “But I think what Grant’s trying to say is that there are two people in a relationship. You thought she was hurting you, and you hurt her instead because you were only focused on your own perspective.”

I can’t deny that they’re right, and it hits me like a jab to the gut. Not once did I stop to think of how Nora must have felt in the face of my accusations and demand for her to leave. All week I’ve been looking at the stuff she left at my house and wondering if she’ll come back for it, but I never truly considered the impact our split would have on her ability to continue making her show. Where will she film it and who will she teach?

I lean forward onto my elbows and press my fingers into my eye sockets, trying to think. Let’s just pretend for a moment that I have no baggage, that I’m coming to the table with the same open heart I had before Marissa. That I’m entirely focused on what I can do to make this right and show Nora that I was wrong. How would putting Nora first over my fears change the way I proceed?

I take a deep breath and blow it out, imagining all my insecurities and mistrust flowing out with it. I do it again and again until I feel calmer and a sense of clarity overtakes me.

“I know what I have to do.”

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