Page 44 of The Kitchen Contract

“Why did she come to you when they broke up?” Nora looks confused and rightly so. It’s a question I wish I’d had the presence of mind to ask that evening.

“I think she was tired of Grant and wanted something new and exciting, and she knew I wouldn’t turn her away. She was my brother’s fiancée. I wanted to take care of her.”

Nora nods sympathetically, but I haven’t gotten to the worst part of the story yet.

“The next morning, she was much calmer. She thanked me for taking such good care of her and left. But then she texted me later that day and again that evening.” I pause, trying to figure out the best way to explain what happened next. “I’d never spent much time around Marissa. She was a few years older than me, and I didn’t really know her outside of her relationship to Grant. But we got together for dinner that night and we had a good time. And she told me she thought she’d been in love with the wrong brother.”

Nora’s brows are pulled together, her face a mask of skepticism and confusion.

“I was flattered, you know?” I sigh and rub my hands over my face and through my hair. “Grant is my big brother, and I’ve always looked up to him. He always seemed so effortlessly calm and confident and capable. He’s smart and successful and all the red flags that should have been waving in front of me were hidden behind my desire to believe that I was actually good enough to be chosen over him.”

It feels shameful to admit that awful motivation out loud, and I feel sick to my stomach as I prepare to continue. Nora’s features have smoothed out, and she’s watching me calmly and quietly, like she’s making a conscious effort not to react. I almost wish I could see some hint of what she’s thinking, even if it’s terrible. The suspense of waiting for her verdict is killing me, so I push on, thinking to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“A few weeks after we started seeing each other, Grant stopped by my house while Marissa was there. He walked in on us snuggled up on the couch together and exploded. Turned out, Marissa had been lying about breaking up with him. She’d been seeing both of us.”

Nora shakes her head slowly, her eyes locked on me as she listens to my soap opera. “That’s horrible. But why did you stay with her after you found out she hadn’t been truthful?”

I chuckle mirthlessly and focus my eyes on the geometric pattern of the rug underneath her coffee table. “If I had a dollar for every time I’ve asked myself that over the last few years, I would buy you a private island and a jet to get there. I think it came down to me just believing what I wanted to believe. She told me that it was a mistake, that she’d told Grant they were done and he hadn’t believed her, that she was falling in love with me. And I wanted that to be true, so I went along with it.”

The feel of her hand on my arm surprises me, and I look up, expecting to see revulsion. Instead, she just looks…sad. Probably because it’s so pathetic that I let myself believe the obvious poppycock that Marissa fed me. Or maybe she’s embarrassed for me. Or regretting that she asked to hear this story instead of just enjoying her French toast.

“What happened next? How did you two break up?”

“We almost didn’t.” Every time I think about this part, an immense feeling of relief overrides the pain. “We were literally standing at the altar when a guy I didn’t know came down front and begged Marissa not to marry me. He claimed they’d been seeing each other and that he was in love with her. She told him to leave, but then he showed me a photo on his phone of him and Marissa kissing. She had her hand on his face, and she was wearing the engagement ring I gave her. Something clicked and I finally understood what kind of woman she was.” I could go on and tell her all the other things that should have clued me in before that moment, but I think that’s enough for now.

“Wow,” Nora murmurs, her eyes wide. She squeezes my arm where her hand still rests, comforting me whether she means to or not. “You weren’t kidding when you said it was dramatic. But at least you realized the truth before you married her.”

“It’s my only comfort in all that mess. It was a dark few years for me. The whole thing almost destroyed my relationship with my family, especially Grant. We’re good now, but we didn’t talk for over a year after he found us together.”

“Wow,” she says again. We sit silently for a moment, the weight of my confession heavy in the room. “I feel like this explains why we haven’t…you know, why there’s nothing between us even though it seems like we both feel something. I was afraid it had something to do with me, but I can see why you’d be hesitant with anyone.”

The vulnerable look on her face guts me. “It has nothing to do with you, Rose. It’s about me. You don’t want to be with a guy like me. I’m not a good guy.”

“That’s not what I heard just now.”

I snort. “Maybe I didn’t tell it right, then. Because I’m definitely one of the villains in that story. What kind of guy does the things I did?”

“One who is young and confused,” she says calmly. “One who now clearly regrets the bad decisions he made. I’m pretty sure villains are only regretful when their evil plans are foiled.” She pauses to smile and scoot closer to me. “We all make mistakes, Alex.” She raises her hand. “Long-term secret hider over here, remember?”

I chuckle at that. “Somehow that doesn’t seem as bad as stealing your brother’s girlfriend.”

She lets out an exasperated sigh. “You didn’t steal her unless you didn’t tell me the real story. It sounds like she had a wandering eye and decided to pursue you. Should you have turned her down? Yeah, probably.” She pauses. “Well, not probably. You definitely should have fled for the hills much sooner. But all’s well that ends well, right?”

“I guess so. You know, if things hadn’t happened exactly as they did, Grant wouldn’t have met Annie. So in that respect, I suppose it was all for the greater good.”

Nora smiles. “See there?”

I smile, then glance at my watch and wince. “I need to get going. Thanks for breakfast. It was really delicious, even if you did make me spill my guts.”

When I stand, she rises with me. “I didn’t ‘make’ you do anything. How could I when you’re so much bigger than me?” She tips her head to the side and reaches out to squeeze my bicep.

I flex and grin, fully aware that she’s flirting to cheer me up after a heavy conversation. I’m willing to let her. I can’t believe that she’s standing in front of me smiling after everything she just heard. If she hasn’t kicked me out, does that mean there’s a chance for us yet?

26

NORA

“Ican’t believe I let you talk me into this.” My eyes follow every move of the stylist painting goop onto my hair and folding it into bits of foil, but my words are directed at Alex, who is filming the whole thing from the salon chair across from mine.

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