Page 12 of The Kitchen Contract

“Okay.” At my encouragement, her shoulders lower and her expression relaxes slightly.

Nora arranges her face into a welcoming smile and reaches down to click the button on the remote.

“Hello and welcome to the first-ever episode of Cooking for Beginners.”

I immediately hold up my hand. “Cut.”

She clicks the button to stop recording and turns to look at me, clearly flustered. “What’s the matter?”

I stopped her without thinking, and now I’m wondering if I did the right thing. Does Nora respond well to feedback? I guess I’m about to find out. “Nothing’s really the matter, per se. I was just thinking surely we could come up with a better name than Cooking for Beginners.”

“What’s wrong with that name?” Nora asks, crossing her arms. “Does it not describe what we’re doing here? Teaching a beginner to cook?”

“No, it does, it definitely does. It’s just a little…boring.”

Her eyebrows and her full pink lips pinch together.

“I just think we could come up with something really catchy that would draw people’s attention, you know? Something fun and clever.” I try to infuse my voice with cheerful enthusiasm. “Like Snoop Dogg’s cookbook, From Crook to Cook.”

Her face softens, and a giggle burbles out of her. “Is that a real thing?”

I exhale quietly as I nod, disaster seemingly averted. “Maddy has a copy that her husband gave her for Christmas one year to be funny since he does most of the cooking in their house. She says the recipes are actually pretty good.”

She puffs up her cheeks and lets the air out slowly. “Okay, I see your point, but I don’t have any better ideas. It took me forever to settle on Cooking for Beginners. Wordplay is not one of my strengths.”

I don’t believe that but keep my opinion to myself. “Let’s just brainstorm some ideas together and see what we come up with. Name some synonyms for cooking and beginner.”

I pace the kitchen with my chin down and hands in my pockets as she calls out different words. We each propose a few combinations, but nothing feels right.

“What about a phrase or something that is associated with starting from the beginning? Like when someone who has never been a runner before does a Couch to 5k plan.”

Nora’s eyes light up with inspiration and she clenches her fists in excitement. “What about if you use that and also play off the term ‘couch potato’? We could call it…From Couch to Potatoes: Learn to Cook with Nora and Alex.”

“Yes! That’s perfect!”

Nora looks triumphant and relieved. “Okay, take two.”

We move back into position and she clicks the button again.

“Hello and welcome to From Couch to Potatoes! I’m Nora, this is Alex, and we’re so glad you’re joining us for our first-ever episode. This show is all about teaching beginners the skills they need to make a tasty meal at home. I’ll be the teacher and Alex here is our beginner! You’ll get to learn right alongside him as he makes a new recipe from scratch.”

Nora turns slightly to look at me. “Alex, are you ready to get started?”

I smile for the camera. “Let’s do it.”

“Today we’re going to make one of my favorite foods,” she continues. “Pancakes!”

I rub my belly and grin. “That sounds fantastic.”

“So to start…”

I listen carefully, interacting where necessary, as Nora gives me step-by-step instructions for measuring and mixing the ingredients and cooking the pancakes on the griddle. I follow her directions and am surprised by the feeling of accomplishment I get when I have a stack of fluffy, golden-brown pancakes on a plate in front of me.

“Now it’s time to give them a try!” Nora says to the camera. She’s maintained her fun, perky persona the entire time and patiently guided me through each step. I meant it when I said she’s a natural at this.

Nora hands me a bottle of syrup and narrates as I pour a generous serving over my steaming pancakes. “Now we’re just going to top these babies with some pure maple syrup—don’t get any of the imitation stuff if you can help it! Alex is going to try a bite and tell us what he thinks.”

She pauses for a beat to let me chew and then asks, “What’s the verdict?”

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