Page 75 of The Sound Of Us

His fingers slide up into my hair, pulling me close. His teeth sink into my lower lip. I return the favor to his top lip and then we both lick across the place we’ve marked.

His hands move quickly, harshly over my body, pulling at my sweatshirt with a growing desperation. It’s always so beautiful to watch him lose control like this. It’s in his loss of control that his confidence truly comes out.

He rubs his naked upper body against mine. I breathe harshly, my fingers gripping his hair, as his lips skate over my jaw, kissing and biting. His tongue swiping over my Adam’s apple. Fuck, that’s fucking good. I grip him there and he opens his mouth, taking my Adam’s apple into his mouth, sucking gently.

Fuck, nothing, nothing, felt like this before.

Reluctantly, I let him go and when he takes my nipple into his mouth, I feel the sounds leave my throat. He ascends immediately, cupping my cheek with a smile in his eyes. He always does that when I feel sounds in my throat. He lifts his hand and in the moonlight, I can make out the sign he makes. Beautiful.

He trails his fingers down the length of my throat and signs again. Beautiful.

I sound beautiful. That’s what he’s trying to tell me.

I crush him to me, wanting to tell him how beautiful he is.

Chapter 41

Axel

I can’t say who moved first. All I know is that somehow we managed to land on Eli’s bed. He gets my sweats and underwear off on the way down so when we land, I’m underneath him, naked, and his body is covering mine like a blanket of safety.

It’s never far away, the thought that Frank is only a few houses away around the bend. But knowing I have only two hours with Eli is enough for me to dedicate every cell and molecule of my body to this moment. To Eli.

His body moves over me, rutting into me with the same desperation I had when I stood at the window of my house and prayed for the rain to stop.

I reach down and push his sweats over his ass, using my feet to strip him, clawing at him while he bites his way from my neck to my hipbone.

Finally, we’re both naked and the revelation is reason to pause and marvel at our entwined bodies. Mine pale and small. Eli’s deeply tanned, lean and muscular. He settles on his knees between my legs, his hands resting lightly on his thighs, and he just stares at me.

His eyes rove from my face and then track down my body slowly. He doesn’t touch me. He just studies my body. I can’t take the inspection but I lift my hips anyway, my cock proudly and shamelessly begging for his touch. His fingers dig into my hips, his thumbs gliding along the crease between my inner thighs. He strokes me there and I lift my hips for him again. And when I do, Eli bends and slides his tongue across the crown of my dick, taking my pre-cum into his mouth.

I reach for him, pulling his face to mine, my tongue tangling with his, tasting myself inside his mouth.

Then I push him off me, rolling with him until I’m on top.

Two hours. That’s all I have to absorb his tenderness into my soul. Eli is not just a soothing balm for my physical needs. His tenderness, his gentleness, reaches into my soul and calms that frightened Axel inside.

Here in Eli’s arms, no one hurts me. No one is kind to me only to exchange it for cruelty later. No one tells me that I am not who I am. That I don’t feel what I feel. That what happened to me, didn’t.

Here, locked away inside Eli, I’m just Axel. But I’m all of me. I’m the cancer-infested Axel and I’m also the healthy Axel. I’m the uneducated Axel, but I’m also the Axel who knows how to create music, who can create sounds that Eli understands because he listens with his soul.

As my lips move down Eli’s beautiful body, I bask and soak in the manly, grunting sounds coming from his throat. If only he knew how beautiful he sounds when he’s in the throes of passion. His inhibition gives me the courage to let go. To feel, and just be.

When I reach his beautiful cock, he bows off the bed, searching out my hands, my mouth.

The feel of his thick, hot flesh in my mouth breaks whatever resistance I might have still had about what I 'm doing. My wedding ring catches my eye, wrapped around my finger as that finger is wrapped around Eli’s cock. Not an accusation for touching the body of a man who is not my husband.

No. My wedding ring is a reminder of every promise Frank broke with his abuse. A reminder that what I have with Frank is not a marriage, but a legal arrangement that allows him to control and abuse me within the ‘safety’ of a marriage.

I keep this ring on to remind myself that I have no marriage. I have no husband. I have an abuser.

And with that ringed hand, I take Eli deeper into my mouth, tasting him. Savouring him. Falling, falling so deep into his safe world.

For these few moments, I’ll know what it is to be loved with the tenderness of Eli’s touch and I’ll give him as much of myself as I can.

Eli pulses inside my mouth, his fingers digging into my scalp. His loud moans encourage me, but I want him inside me when he comes.

Crawling back up, I sheath him with a condom, lather us with lube, and then, hovering over him, I take Eli, inch by inch. His eyes hooded from lust, he holds onto my hips, guiding me until I’m fully seated.

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